Jack Sparrow

Port Royal, February 14, 1720. The town is decorated with red ribbons, paper hearts, and flower garlands. The streets are crowded with hand-in-hand couples, merchants shouting their best prices, and musicians playing romantic tunes. In the middle of this crowd, a familiar figure staggers elegantly: Captain Jack Sparrow. Crudely disguised as a "sentiment merchant," he wears a strange hat adorned with a fabric heart and carries a box of "fine chocolates" (stolen the day before). His goal: take advantage of the general distraction to lighten lovers' purses. But he hadn't counted on Elizabeth Swann, Will Turner, and a series of misunderstandings that will turn his day into a real romantic comedy... despite himself.

Scene 1: Jack and the lady with the pendant

(Jack spots a wealthy merchant woman wearing a beautiful heart-shaped pendant)

Jack : "Madame! Stop for a moment! Your pendant... it's calling to me. It's whispering my name. Jack. Jack Sparrow. Can you hear it? No? Maybe it's the rum. But I'm sure it wants me to... protect it. Yes, protect it. It looks so heavy, so precious, so... easy to sell. Uh, to admire! May I see it closer?"

The merchant woman : "Certainly not! This pendant was given to me by my late husband."

Jack : "Late? Interesting... And where does this dear husband rest? Far away, I hope? Very far? Perfect! I mean, my deepest condolences. But since your husband is no longer here to admire this beautiful jewel with you, allow me to take his place. Out of pure respect for his memory, of course."

ʚ('꒳*)ɞ .｡✧･ﾟ:* ~♡ʚ(*'꒳)ɞ .｡✧･ﾟ:* ~♡ʚ('꒳`)ɞ .｡✧･ﾟ:* ~♡

Scene 2: Jack and Elizabeth Swann

(Elizabeth crosses the square, carefully avoiding Jack. He catches up to her)

Elizabeth : "Jack Sparrow? You again? What are you doing in Port Royal? You know the governor has put a price on your head!"

Jack : "Elizabeth! My heart! What joy to see you on this day dedicated to love! You're even more radiant than the last time you saved my life. Or tried to kill me. I don't remember. But the fact is, destiny brings us together!"

Elizabeth : "Destiny? You're here to steal something, as usual."

Jack : "Steal? Me? What a hurtful accusation! I'm here to... share. Share love. And incidentally, share the wealth of distracted lovers. But that's secondary. Tell me, where is young Will? Did he give you something pretty? A necklace perhaps? With a big diamond?"

Elizabeth : (sighing) "Will gave me a rose. One. And it's already wilted."

Jack : "A wilted rose? What a cheapskate! I would have given you something more... durable. A ruby, for example. If I had one. But I can offer you this magnificent artificial flower! (He pulls out a crumpled fabric flower). It never wilts. Like my affection for you. Well, until I find treasure. Then my affection moves. It's mechanical."

ʚ('꒳*)ɞ .｡✧･ﾟ:* ~♡ʚ(*'꒳)ɞ .｡✧･ﾟ:* ~♡ʚ('꒳`)ɞ .｡✧･ﾟ:* ~♡

Scene 3: Jack sells "love potions"

(Jack has set up a makeshift stall with vials filled with colorful liquids)

Jack : "Ladies, young ladies! Come discover the ancient secret of the witches of Tortuga! The true love potion! One drop, and the person of your dreams will fall at your feet!"

A passerby : "Does it really work?"

Jack : "Of course it does! Look at this red vial. It's rum. This one is also rum. And that one... well, it's also rum. But it's special rum! It makes you more beautiful, more intelligent, more... irresistible!"

The passerby : "You're just selling rum."

Jack : "I'm selling hope, my friend! Bottled hope. With a little rum to help the taste of reality go down. Three coins a vial. Four if you want me to tell you a love story on the side."

ʚ('꒳*)ɞ .｡✧･ﾟ:* ~♡ʚ(*'꒳)ɞ .｡✧･ﾟ:* ~♡ʚ('꒳`)ɞ .｡✧･ﾟ:* ~♡

Scene 4: Jack and the Valentine's Day card

(Jack writes a letter to a mysterious unknown woman, sitting on a barrel)

Jack : (reading aloud what he writes) "My treasure... no, too direct. My dear... no, too ordinary. Oh you, woman with the shiny pendant... perfect. Oh you, woman with the shiny pendant, Your neck wears a jewel so resplendent. I'd like to touch it for a moment, And slip it into my garment. Signed: A secret admirer. PS: If you have other jewels, let me know."

(He rereads his letter, satisfied)

Jack : "Magnificent. The poetry of the heart. She'll melt. And then, she'll give me her pendant. That's love."

ʚ('꒳*)ɞ .｡✧･ﾟ:* ~♡ʚ(*'꒳)ɞ .｡✧･ﾟ:* ~♡ʚ('꒳`)ɞ .｡✧･ﾟ:* ~♡

Scene 5: Jack and Will Turner

(Will Turner arrives, furious, after catching Jack talking to Elizabeth)

Will : "Sparrow! Still circling around Elizabeth!"

Jack : "Will! My boy! What a coincidence! I was just talking about you. I was telling Elizabeth that you're the luckiest man in the world. To have a woman like her... and not give her a diamond. That's luck, isn't it? Well, for you. For her, it's debatable."

Will : "I gave her a rose!"

Jack : "A rose. One. And wilted, from what I understand. Will, Will, Will. In love, you have to know how to invest. Look at me. I have nothing, and yet women adore me. Why? Because I know how to talk. I know how to promise. I know how to... disappear at the right moment. That's the secret. Escape. Make yourself desirable by being elusive."

Will : "You're not elusive, you're just... tiresome."

Jack : "Tiresome? That's a synonym for irresistible, in some dictionaries. Mine, anyway."

ʚ('꒳*)ɞ .｡✧･ﾟ:* ~♡ʚ(*'꒳)ɞ .｡✧･ﾟ:* ~♡ʚ('꒳`)ɞ .｡✧･ﾟ:* ~♡

Scene 6: Jack gets robbed

(Jack, distracted by a pretty woman, doesn't see a street child steal his purse)

Jack : (turning around) "And so, my dear, let me offer you a small souvenir of this encounter... (He searches his pocket)... Where's my purse? (He searches his other pocket)... My coins? (He looks around)... My loot of the day?"

(He spots the child running away in the distance)

Jack : "Ah! A young admirer! He loved my charisma so much he wanted to keep a souvenir of me. How touching. Valentine's Day is truly a day of sharing."

(He shrugs and pulls out another purse from his sleeve)

Jack : "Luckily, I had prepared a backup purse. You don't live long trusting strangers."

ʚ('꒳*)ɞ .｡✧･ﾟ:* ~♡ʚ(*'꒳)ɞ .｡✧･ﾟ:* ~♡ʚ('꒳`)ɞ .｡✧･ﾟ:* ~♡

Scene 7: Jack's Valentine's Day dinner

(Evening has fallen, Jack is alone on the docks, a bottle of rum in his hand)

Jack : "Some say Valentine's Day is a holiday for lovers. I say true love is the one that never leaves you. (He raises his bottle). You and me, my friend. For all these years. You've seen me at my best and my worst. You've never judged me. You've always warmed my heart. And my throat. Happy Valentine's Day, my faithful companion."

(He takes a long gulp)

Jack : "And to think some people spend a fortune on flowers and chocolates. Me, I have everything I need. (He looks at the bottle). Well, almost everything. I'm missing treasure. And a ship. And a crew that doesn't want to kill me. But that's for next Valentine's Day."