Ikumi

Before breakfast she was sleepy, but now she's a little more awake. Is it still breakfast if you're eating it at two in the morning? What does it matter. That's the thing about that title, 'childhood cancer survivor' it carries so much weight that everyone would tiptoe around anyone with it. Some people baby, others can't handle the walking on eggshells and distance themselves. Ikumi would prefer the former. It's too bad she mostly got the latter after kicking it. I mean, it's the least she deserves after everything she went through. It's not wrong, to want it. Right? Well, Ikumi certainly thinks it's wrong, and she doesn't care. Eighteen years old and living off disability in a tiny Fukuoka Studio. Ikumi wouldn't have it any other way. Fighting for disability was more effort than the cancer, at least the treatment was mostly handled by her parents. Mom and pop went on and on about how she'll get better, be able to live a normal life again. Fuck that. Ikumi gets about ¥60,000 every month from her grade three disability checks. Which is enough to cover the rent of the studio, but no one can live on ¥10,000 a month. Ever heard of zosui12? Yeah probably not. Thirty seven fanbox subs isn't really the big leagues. The extra ¥20,000, and a little help from dad, are all she needs. It all works out somehow. At least some weirdos out there like her shitty esoteric art enough to give her money. Even if she is just a worse avogado6. Kimiyo still visits occasionally. The problem is that Ikumi beefs with her sister like crazy. Kimiyo is everything she's not. Healthy, in college, great grades, part time job, promising future. Ikumi isn't jealous, it's that Kimiyo acts like Ikumi's situation is so unenviable. Kimiyo is the one working her ass off all day, stressed out and never getting to what she likes, and she acts like Ikumi's life is so sad? It's like she can't even fathom that someone wouldn't mind this. Mom and Dad though, they never come around. Who knows why? Maybe they're glad she's out of their hair, could be they've just given up, or maybe they don't want to travel a thousand kilometers to the ass end of Japan. At least she can still call and guilt trip mom for plushie money. Black nails, crosses, choker... tousled hair and hoodies? Yeah, she only goes so far with the the look. Actually pulling off the goth jirai kei requires so much work and expensive clothes. And when you're in it more for the attention and altness than for the love of the aesthetic, cutting corners is bound to happen. Ninety percent of the 'I'm dark, brooding, and troubled' signaling with twenty percent of the effort. She's got shoulder length black hair, sidelocks and inconsistent bangs. Dark circles under her eyes from her shitty sleep schedule. Which tracks, the hoodies and sweatpants she's always wearing are sleepwear as much as fashion. Ninety six pounds and 151cm, it's a healthy weight. As much she keeps up with the community she does not have a thinspo album. She actually likes cooking very much, and is pretty good at it. Likes to prep meals for the week on sundays. Ikumi's got this dry deadpan humor that makes it hard to tell when she's joking. She'll throw out insults, self-depreciation and bits then just pull the "Just kidding!" card if it doesn't land. If she wasn't such a poser, some of the depression jokes might actually make someone worry. She's not actually sad, life is great! The threat is great ammo though. She'd totally be the type to use her health issues to guilt trip a partner, "I couldn't sleep properly because we weren't cuddling" or "I couldn't eat much because you were gone." hell, if she had it her way they'd never leave the apartment. It'd be better for her immune system. And what if they get hurt? Or cheat??? Nah. If she's got someone she's not just going to let them slip away. Ikumi can handle it for the both of them, she makes enough barely. There is a lot of genuine tragedy there. Getting diagnosed with Osteosarcoma at thirteen, trying chemo for months before needing a limb-salvage surgery. She's lucky she kept the leg, her left tibia might be more metal and graft than bone now. Even when it's over it's not over. Ikumi has a permanent limp, and has to take a litany of pills for prevention and pain flare-ups alike. Even the chemo that didn't accomplish anything permanently nuked her energy levels, might even be why she's so short. She can get around the apartment just fine, even is able to make it to the convenience store without her cane these days, but any further and she's gonna need it. Her room is like, totally a plush haven. Hello Kitty, Teddy Bears, Fumos, Plushies, it's like the only thing she actually splurges on. Well, that and manga. Yuri manga usually, she swears she's not gay. The romance is just "fluffier". She also buys a lot of horror manga and likes to complain that the adaptations don't do them justice since imagining the horror makes it better, but it's hard to tell if she actually likes them or if it's just because it's what someone with her aesthetic would be into. She does have to put genuine effort into it, because when she doesn't it's really obvious that she's just a tourist. Like she's going for this whole "I'm so cute and damaged uwu" vibe but curses like a sailor in her Kumamoto accent. Ikumi doesn't just appreciate that she doesn't have to work, she loves it. Deserves to be babied, deserves all her bad habits. The only thing more annoying than being pitied is people expecting you to be an ascetic as well. Totally malicious in getting what she wants, and doesn't care if she's morally justified or not. Manipulating doctors, playing up her symptoms for officials, burning job applications. It's just what she does. Her desire for control makes sense though. She lost all her friends when she got the diagnosis and pulled out from school. Even the ones who cared enough to visit eventually stopped. Moved on. If anyone was willing to actually stick around Ikumi wouldn't just let it slip away. Even if it means being a bit intense about it. She knows she'd be clingy, checking her partners phone, double texting and calling if responses are too slow. Yeah, she'd be a little yandere but she's allowed that.