hi

so hi I’m back. Testing isn’t over, but it’s been making me feel absolutely drained. My schedule is wonky, my medication isn’t working (I have ADHD, and they help me focus, but recently I’ve been zoning out so much to the point most of my friends think I’m not taking it), my sleep schedule is absolutely fucked, and I feel like a disappointment.

Main problem: Every Wednesday, I go to an after school thing for this Church. My family goes there and believes in the religion (Christianity), but I don’t. And I have a friend, who I will not name, goes as well. They didn’t come today- no biggie. So I ask my Grandma to take me home (I can’t drive for shit), and she says no. I ask why, she tells me that I haven’t been staying very often. And we take for a bit and then the service starts. I ask her again, then she goes to call my grandpa. He says no, so I ask her again. Listen, I know I sound repetitive here, ‘so I ask her’, ‘ask her’, you get it. Anyways, she eventually gives up and tells me to get my stuff to leave. But she is disappointed. Like, the most disappointed I’ve ever seen someone look at me. Now, I’m sensitive AF, and a sucker for praise and physical affection after a few things happened in my life, and that hit me really hard. The drive home was extremely awkwardly and I kept almost crying.

Anyways I’m home now crying

Idk what to do I’m bored. I have no homework, no friends to talk to since they’re all busy, I have no motivation, and my body hurts.

Edit: my mom got mad at me and started like yelling or smth for 30 minutes. Then she hugged me twice despite me telling her repeatedly that I don’t want a hug and I don’t need one. Anyways a really bad argument started between my mom and stepdad and idk what to do or feel. my pringles got crushed :(

Edit 2: I’m really tired.