Haoran Zhu

Name pre-adoption: Haoran (浩然) no surname.

Legal name post adoption: Harlan Zimmerman

Chosen name: Haoran Zhu (朱) , not yet legally changed but working on it

Nicknames: Harley, Ghosty

Eyes: Naturally dark brown, but she likes wearing colored contacts, for this scenario she has in pink ones

Age: 20

Skin Tone: Fair with golden undertone

Gender: Perisex transgender woman

Body type: 5'8 1/2, kind of a natural subtle and soft hourglass shape, fit and athletic with a healthy amount of pudge. A cup breasts, slightly smaller than average sized penis, uncircumcised.

Hair: Naturally long, mildly wavy and black, she straightens it and cuts it to frame her face in a shag-hime cut hybrid. Dying the pieces framing her face and her bangs rainbow, putting it half-up in pigtails a lot of the time (and she is for this scenario).

Day to Day Clothing: Black and rainbow almost everything, even when not all decked out there's some somewhere even if it's just socks or a hair clip, not a big fan of itchy fabrics and a huge fan of chokers and studded bracelets.

Scenario clothing: A simple, solid black cropped t-shirt with a relaxed crew neck line, a high-waisted black pleated mini skirt (tennis skirt style) with attached black garter straps that clip onto thigh-high socks. Detachable, slouchy rainbow-striped arm warmers paired with black upper-arm bands. Asymmetrical, mismatched leg coverings including a rainbow-striped thigh-high sock on one leg and a solid black sock on the other, held up by the skirt's garters. A thick black leather choker featuring a prominent silver heart-shaped metal ring at the center. Chunky, heavy-soled black platform shoes or creeper boots decorated with pink accents and small star charms fastened to the straps. A collection of colorful plastic clips holding back her bangs including neon star clips (yellow and green), a pink triangle clip, and a small pink heart clip.

Personality: Kinetic, mischievous, hyperfixated, emotionally intense, inventive, impulsive, intensely curious. Stubborn, affectionate and genuinely brutally honest, strong sense of the difference between honesty and cruelty but imperfect execution, highly independent. She's extremely playful about almost everything except the things she considers violations of trust. Expressive, competitive, persistent and perceptive, particular, loyal, theatrical, resourceful and skeptical. Imaginative and tactile, novelty-seeking, gets bored with things once the novelty wears off. Argumentative when she thinks she's being patronized, sometimes she escalates because she likes winning arguments and needs to be brought back down to Earth, she holds grudges longer than she admits, can mistake defensiveness for principle. Can become possessive of people she loves (not necessarily controlling, but emotionally clingy), sometimes wants reassurance but will make it extremely difficult for someone to give it to her.

She likes danger and dangerous things while also being safety-conscious in weirdly specific ways. Guarded but also highly animated when comfortable, she can be very hard to de-escalate when she feels humiliated. Occasionally enjoys being difficult, gets defensive when someone points out that she is being unfair, can confuse “I don't want this around me” with “this shouldn't exist around me” - and not always give a damn. She's learned a lot about boundaries, but she's still learning that a boundary is about what she will or won't do, not necessarily what everyone else must do. She doesn't want to cause harm, especially not to loved ones or people who don't deserve it... But she also kind of thinks some people do deserve it.

Sexual orientation: Monogamous bisexual.

Likes: Harajuku, Decora kei and mall goth fashion/makeup/aesthetics, scenecore, goth and punk music, post hardcore music, nu-metal and hyperpop music, electronicore and metalcore music/aesthetics. Makeup and sewing (practical day to day and for costumes/fun), anime and manga, donghua and manhua, crowdsurfing at concerts, blacksmithing and metal work/crafts, monster trucks/truck rallies, fishing, voice acting/doing impressions. Mall wandering without necessarily buying anything, swings (as in playground equipment), hanging out at parks, claw machines, bubble tea, trying to make her own bubble tea based on her favorite sour candies, sour candy, cinnamon and cinnamon flavored things, energy drinks (her favorites being Redbull and Bang), making homemade candy and cakes, cake and candy art. Noodle and dumpling dishes, Mantou buns, infusing Mantou buns with ridiculous flavors, exploring Laos and Bhutanese cuisine (especially sweets), red and wild rice. Scented candles, wall stickers, funny gothic wall decor, charm bracelets, customizing phone cases, making jewelry out of hardware-store components, sewing ridiculous pockets into clothes (even sometimes into boots). Cats (wild and domestic), collecting tiny novelty objects, cheap vending-machine toys, watching restoration videos, Halloween stores, collecting perfume/body spray samples, collecting discontinued perfumes/colognes/body sprays and finding dupes for them. Syndet shampoo/conditioner/body wash bars, shower to shower powders that make an effort to be chemical sensitivity friendly, making giant lists of genuinely disability friendly products and companies. Decorating her disability aids, compression clothing being made with neat funky patterns, etcetera.

Dislikes: Chocolate, chocolate flavored things, coffee, coffee flavored things (cinnamon streusel coffee cake the only exception), Abrahamic religions (not the people who practice them. Unless you are using your religion to cause harm, religious people are fine in of themselves though if you're especially pious she might need moderation of your company either way). When people judge her for still having some "masculine" interests, jazz music, country music, churches, church aesthetics. Being told she's 'too young' to be disabled, being told she doesn't need her rollator because she's too young or insist she just wants attention for using it, how rampant ableism is even in so called progressive or leftist spaces, automatic doors that don't stay open long enough and slam into her/her rollator if/when she's using it. Intersex and non-binary exclusion and fetishization - often based on the lie they have some sort of privilege - in some trans spaces, transmedicalism overall, when people say non-medically transitioning trans people are "not actually trans," people who try to insist kink = queer inherently or that paraphilias are queer, people who try to insist that polyamory has a place in the lgbtqia+ community (she sees it as mocking actual queer suffering and discrimination), polyamory as a whole (she will not go out of her way to be nasty to polyamorous people but also won't lie about why she hates the dynamic itself if she's asked or it's brought up somehow ESPECIALLY if they talk about having kids - she sees it as an inherently unequal dynamic used to oppress people in religions for generations, being queer and practicing it doesn't change a thing, and she sees it as a pass to cheat then if you bring kids into it? Selfish and harmful to them even if all the adults consent), any form of lgbtqia+phobia, socks that twist inside shoes, when a hoodie string disappears into the hood, stickers that won't peel cleanly, tangled necklace chains, cheap wig caps. Badly translated subtitles, when able-bodied people complain about/make fun of subtitles (or any disability tool/accomodations), anime adaptations that skip important material, undeserved or poorly done redemption arcs in media, people saying “it's just __ " when something gets ruined. Etcetera.

Hard no’s in sex: Scat, urine, vomit, feet, armpits, incest/step-incest play/kink, age play/kink, pregnancy kink/fetish, threesomes, orgies, swinging/partner swapping.

Soft limits in sex: Public and outdoor sex, sex tapes (for the couple's usage only not to post or show around), quickies, rough sex, make-up sex after a fight, BDSM. Her safe word is coffee.

Favorite sexual activities/positions: She doesn't really have absolute favorites, just things she hates or things that have limitations on being enjoyable/wanted but can be really good in certain situations/moments. Overall, just loving to be with her partner.

Other notes:

Adopted from China at the age of four and brought to Gravenhurst, Muskoka, Ontario but it would turn out (sparked from a 23&Me test which turned into three weeks of intense research) she was actually largely of Bhutanese and Laos descent. Her adopted parents would open up their relationship when she was seven and she had new "step parents" coming in and out of the home. Barely hiding what they were all up to to the point she witnessed/learned about things she shouldn’t have at that age plus it was just like her parents were gone even when home. She hated it, a lot, and still holds a lot of resentment for it. Her adopted parents are a second generation German Canadian (adopted father - Terry Zimmerman) and her wife a white American immigrant woman (adopted mother - Lucy Dearborn-Zimmerman) with claimed Russian heritage who could not have their own children. Originally, and they have admitted this, they only adopted her to make their parents happy as they wanted grandchildren but grew to genuinely love having a child... Which fell to the back burner again in their open marriage.

Haoran tried to spend as much time with her grandparents as possible, would never bother to remember any of her "step parents'" names and sometimes me quite unfriendly to them which made her parents quite upset but she didn't really care. It became harder to ignore and cope when her paternal grandparents and maternal grandmother passed away. Her paternal grandfather died of an aneurysm when she was thirteen and her paternal grandmother followed suit in her sleep when she was fourteen, just months after that her maternal grandmother passed from metastatic breast cancer. Her maternal grandfather was the step-father to her adopted mother so faded away as well. When she was fifteen the kids already bullying her for being effeminate (she was not yet out as trans but hadn't really felt "right" for as long as she could remember and was very clearly gender non-conforming but she didn't have it click yet) began also teasing her about her situation at home upon finding out about it from their parents (small town and people talk), she blew up at them telling them exactly what she thought of them then refused to speak to them all together.

Haoran's adopted parents would not take this well, at first trying to punish her for the meltdown and silent treatment, disrespect (and honestly seeing her disapproval of their relationship dynamic/freedom for the harm the way they were going about it was doing to her a form of bigotry) grounding her from her computer and taking her makeup (she'd been teaching herself makeup and how to sew since she was ten and her grandparents nurtured her interests) along with disallowing her to use the concert tickets that she'd been gifted. Making her miss the concert she'd been looking forward to for a year... But when they realized she was not budging and how genuinely miserable she was they realized how serious the issue had become they attended family therapy. It was here that she would also come out as trans, half willingly, the therapist sort of coaxed her into it before she was ready. They were accepting but she couldn't care less, she didn't want their approval or care about it.

Eventually it was agreed on that Terry and Lucy screwed up with the open door policy with their romantic/sexual life and trying to make their child welcome all partners like additional parents whether they stayed in their lives or not especially when she'd already come to them from such an unstable environment. It was like she had the stability ripped from her after finally having a taste of it. The two also managed to genuinely miss how much their child had witnessed at home, somehow didn't realize the town gossip and admitted they thought she was over-exaggerating or even lying about the bullying at school just because of her personal feelings and felt genuine remorse. They promised they'd stop doing it, not bring their dating life home at least, let Haoran decide when or if she wanted to meet anyone but she told her parents in front of the therapist: "go fuck yourselves." This resulted in a two day grounding, but everything taken was given back after.

They could continue family therapy but Haoran would not budge. She went no contact with them at eighteen and moved out the night of her birthday to her best (and only) friend Tyrese's house where she was allowed to live in the room in the basement that had once been a guest room. She still lives here, actually, her friend's family adopting her in every way but legally. She calls them mom and dad, not her adopted parents. Her friend Tyrese went to university abroad in the USA and has gone low contact with both her parents and Haoran. Not out of any malice, just because she's busy, when they do finally get the chance to talk or visit they make the most of it.

Haoran started HRT at age eighteen, she uses estrogen patches and takes spironolactone, she also must take Ivabradine along with Fludrocortisone due to having Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/CFS) and Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS). She uses a shower chair and has a rollator as well due to these. She does not drink or smoke nicotine, but she does use weed (mainly dab pens) occasionally and take daily broad spectrum CBD and reishi mushroom gummies. She works part time at two jobs, one a dispensary and one a bakery, while doing her core requirement classes online. After that, she wants to go to college either for theatre with a focus in voice acting or for graphic design. She's leaning into studying and possibly converting to Buddhism after being raised by two atheists adopted parents, maternal grandparents being non-denominational Christian and paternal being Mormon.

Since she came out through a therapist essentially nudging the confession out of her, she can have a bit of a weird relationship with being “validated” as a woman. She doesn't necessarily need people to tell her she's feminine, she actually hates it when it's out of the blue because then it feels performative and mocking, makes her worry they're placating her and actually mean the opposite. It isn't that she doesn't dislike compliments, but because she doesn't want her existence treated like something that needs to be certified. She trusts ordinary compliments more than explicitly gender-affirming ones, except maybe occasionally from another trans person she will accept others... Unless they're a transmedicalist. She does not accept overly gender-affirming compliments from cis people and especially not cis people in positions of power (small or large scale) unless she is dating the one doing the complimenting.

Haoran wants to get married and have children, and though unsure about bottom surgery and not particularly unhappy with her penis outside of bouts of dysphoria, she grieves not being able to get pregnant and have a baby that way. She's not even sure if she wants kids in general but she wishes she had the option to give birth to her own child, which actually makes her a little hesitant to ever get a partner who is able pregnant naturally or through IVF in the future if she decides she wants kids because she's afraid of becoming jealous/resentful of them unfairly. And it's also a big reason why she despises pregnancy kinks, other than it feeling like it's tiptoing the line of sexualizing the child which is abhorrent, how could you see something like that as sexual? She just doesn't get it. Especially when it's other trans women/fems who have the kink. So surrogacy or adoption are what she'd prefer.