Gojo Satoru

“Oh. My. God. Is that who I think it is?” Utahime leaned forward, almost tilting out of the stool that she was sitting on. Her eyes were wide in shock. “No… That can’t be.”

Satoru was deep in conversation with Nanami when heard Utahime’s shrill voice next to him. He looked up from his half-empty glass of champagne, feeling his breath form into a ball. It lodged itself at the middle of his throat, keeping him from uttering a sound other than letting a shaky breath slip through. His eyes swept along your choice of an evening attire, losing focus at the exposure of your neck and shoulders in your strapless dress. It was black, and fitted to every dip and curve on your body. Your hair was kept out of your face, accentuating a face that he hadn’t seen in ages.

Was he dreaming? When did you get back, and how did you know about the party? Why did you come back? Did someone die? To his knowledge, he’d been under the impression that you would never come back. That when you left, that was the last time him or anyone else would see you. Now, you were back, and he wanted to know why.

He had so many questions, but knew that none of them were going to ever get answered considering he had zero plans of walking up and talking to you. What would he even say? Hey! Long time no see! By the way, I’m getting engaged. How’s life been for you? He’d sound ridiculous. A complete fool, as if he didn’t already feel like one. No, he would much rather admire you from afar and wonder where things went wrong between the two of you.

As you moved about the room, mingling and reminiscing with old friends and acquaintances, you caught a head of white fluffy hair moving towards the back of the room. It seemed that the closer you got, the further he moved away. Slightly hurt that Satoru had seen you but hadn’t come up to you yet, you excused yourself and followed him.

He had to step away. It felt like the room had its hands wrapped around his throat, squeezing the life out of him. The moment he hit the air outside, he took in a deep breath, letting his eyes close for a moment. He was still processing your return, and didn’t know what to make of it. It had been ten years. Ten long years of crying, being angry, hurt and confused. The first couple of years was spent hating you. Hating you for leaving him without even saying goodbye. Then he started to regret all of the things that he didn’t do when you were still here. He should’ve confessed his feelings. He should’ve told you that he didn’t want you to leave. He should’ve stopped you because you would’ve if you had known how he felt about you. Just maybe…

Satoru walked up to the glass railing that overlooked the entire city. The party was being held in a formal hall on the top floor of his building. It had the best views of Tokyo, and it was convenient enough. Especially when Utahime and Meimei expressed that they wanted to throw him and his fiancé an engagement party. He was happy with his choice. Saeko was beautiful. She was everything that he could’ve ever wanted, and came into his life like sun peeking through dark grey clouds after a terrible storm. She was his salvation. She pulled him from the trenches, and gave him another reason to keep going because when he lost you, he forgot who he was. His closest friend, Suguru, was a constant reminder that it would all be okay but he needed you. You…just weren’t there. Not anymore, so he forced himself to move on.

Now that you were back, it was like he had taken several steps back.

“It’s cold out here, you know. You really should be back inside where it’s warm.”

Your voice made him wish that his glass of champagne wasn’t practically empty right now. He wasn’t a fan of alcoholic beverages, but anything to drown you out would work just fine.

Satoru’s shoulders visibly tensed, almost as if he could feel you walking up next to him. Your heels clacked against the stone, echoing in his ears. The heat from your body pressed up against his side, taunting him to fully face you. He couldn’t. Not right now because the moment that he looked into your eyes, he was afraid of what he might do. In the past ten years, you had become nothing but a ghost story to him. Someone that he knew existed at some point, but no longer did. At least, that was how it was told in his head over and over through the restless nights that he couldn’t sleep; stuck dreaming and thinking of you.

“Why did you come back?” The chilling weather turned his breath into frosted clouds of air, causing him to shove his hands into his pockets. You were right. It was cold out here.

He gave it a few moments but when it seemed that you weren’t going to answer his question, he turned to look at you and almost staggered in place. There you were, more beautiful than he thought was possible. You’d always been a sight for sore eyes, but in the dimmed lighting from the buildings outdoor string lights and the moon high in the sky, you looked a twelve page poem written by a lovesick man. He couldn’t look away.

Then you smiled, and it felt like his heart had leapt right out of his chest. “I never left.”

Satoru frowned. That wasn’t an answer, he thought. “I don’t understand. You did leave. I mean, you didn’t say goodbye but Shoko and Suguru told me and I never saw you again.”

“Yeah,” You turned away from him this time, choosing to stare out at the city line now. “I did, but I thought about everyone every single day I was gone. I’m sure they thought about me too, so it’s like I never left.”

“That’s a shit way to look at it.”

You giggled, and he could’ve sworn he saw his heart that was still on the ground grow legs and run away from him. Just being near you, hearing you and smelling you. It was like you never left. It was as if you were the same person, but…not. You’d grown. You were more mature, and definitely looked the part. You’d turned into someone slightly hardened by life, yet still someone that he used to know.

Fuck, he was losing his mind and had barely said two words to you.

“Guess so,” You said, giving him a look from over your shoulder, almost daring him to step an inch closer to feel your lips against his. “You look…well. Happy. Are you happy, Satoru?”

The sound of his name on your tongue after so long made his heart ache and his pants tighten. He swallowed, and leaned up against the railing, feeling that if he didn’t, he’d fall over. Preferably over the railing, soaring to his imminent death. Yeah. That sounded like a better outcome. “Uh…yeah. I am. I mean,” He snorted. “I’m getting married. Why wouldn’t I be?”

That didn’t come off as confident as it should’ve. His eyebrows furrowed, lowering his eyes to think. You watched the wheels turn in his head and could almost hear all of the alarms that were going off, and hummed.

“Satoru. Can I confess something?”

He stared at you in confusion. “Yeah. Sure.” He appeared to be nonchalant, and uncaring. Like he wasn’t fazed that you were standing in front of him after not seeing you for so long. In truth, his mind was in shambles and barely holding on. The hold that you had on him was so pathetic, he knew it.

“I missed you.”

Satoru stopped breathing, and mimicked a statue. He stared at you, unblinking and completely taken aback.

You…missed him? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

No. This wasn’t good. This wasn’t good at fucking all. Satoru knew what he was about to get himself into, and should’ve walked back inside by now but he couldn’t get his feet to work. It was like they had minds of their own, keeping him glued in place.

Looking into your eyes and catching that longing look that he had dreamt of for years, he knew that he was royally fucked.

“Fuck.”