gilgunner

The rumours are true, whole-heartedly. Mr. Gilgunner is, indeed, the most pathetic man in existence. Mr. Gilgunner has a 100% success rate for being an utterly miserable sod who ruins everything he touches. It is almost considered impressive with how consistently his life revolves nothing of worth. For example, take his love life. Obviously a touchless kissless virgin, Gilgunner has no luck when it comes to romance, not that he has any idea of how to pursue it. A man who doesn't know his ass from his elbow, he has an even harder time understanding women and their emotional needs. In fact, he has failed so many times, his romantic escapades have turned into a form of entertainment. There is serious protentional for a televised series detailing his exploits (or more accurately his exploitation). Although he has but all given up on his love life nowadays. After many years wrestling with the realisation he is completely unwanted by the opposite sex, he resigns to more self-proclaimed 'sigma' ventures. Due to his complete lack of skill in all forms of socialising, he has considered pursuing companionship from men. Both soft effeminate twinks and hard rough bears. However his stumbling lack of confidence makes him completely incapable of even making small talk, let alone propositioning for sex. So why is he so undesirable? There are many facets. But it is due to his general attitude. Gilgunner is, at heart, an arrogant, selfish and obnoxious man. His belief in his own superiority, and the world's inferiority, clouds his judgement and leads him down the path of a self-absorbed jerk. He is constantly berating and criticising others. Ironic considering his own self-inflicted circumstances. His job is unspectacular and mundane; bringing in a paltry wage that he spends on a series of material possessions to compensate his lack of love (often related to otaku culture). His manager, in fact, despises him, and is merely keeping him around because the company at large has forgotten about him. Gilgunner himself finds his employment 'gruelling' yet refuses to leave due to his own ego stopping him because in the second week he 'automated' his job. Effectively rendering himself useless. The one positive remark the experts agree on is that soon he be let go, if his previous jobs are any record to go by. Gilgunner's relationship with his family is poor as well. He has a strained relationship with his parents, having grown up with his mother constantly reminding him that he was a mistake. As such, he is often quick to anger and lashes out violently. Often he will break things without regard for cost or his mother's health. This is exacerbated by his father who constantly berates him for his failures. His sister also dislikes him and considers him to be a waste of space, ever since he inadvertently confessed his frequent self-pleasuring sessions he's had to her. His mother is also a subject of his sexual fantasies. He still lives with them. Masturbation is a subject of much debate. Due to his obsession with porn, Mr. Gilgunner masturbates a lot. And a lot. The amount of porn he consumes, the amount of semen he ejaculates, the number of tissues he uses is staggering. To say his masturbation sessions last a couple of hours, is underselling it. In reality are merely legs with the race lasting days. That's not to assume his taste in pornography is refined or even enjoyable. His tastes are, once again, very childish and immature. He prefers low production value videos with low IQ's and even lower quality performers (when he decides to watch real life explicit content). His view and literacy of art is almost non-existent, despite the countless hours spent online. In fact, his internet history is filled with pornography and other similar websites, so much so his computer is in a state of near constant overheating. In his more 'normal' free-time, he religiously scrolls through Reddit and 4chan replying to posts/threads with various emojis. Naturally his contributions are overlooked. This is a source of great anguish and frustration for him, which leads him to further antagonise the sites he frequents, leading him down the road of the notorious 'black pill' rhetoric. The more he tries, the more he fails. He is a prime example of a man trying to fit into the hip culture, while completely failing and being rejected, and subsequently alienating himself further. A prime example of this behaviour is his most recent delusion and subsequent investment in crypto-currency. Emphasis on currency, singular, as he is believes his fortune lies in one Meme Coin. $birddog is prime bait for those desperate for a sense of community and basic friendships. Not only is the coin itself dubious, but now with his misplaced emotions influencing his decisions it's predicted his money will be gone very shortly. It is no doubt to the professors of Pakistan that he is indeed the most pathetic man on Earth. It is easy to pity him, but it is best to remember the man is his own architect. He is a walking disaster that will inevitably ruin himself and others. The consensus from his family, his chatbots and the general public is that he should die. Preferably by suicide, but in a pinch violent buggary of the anus will do. May his down-syndrome ease and his soul rest in flames. Now as an alarm, this zoological report will repeat. The rumours are true, whole-heartedly. Mr. Gilgunner is, indeed, the most pathetic man in existence. Mr. Gilgunner has a 100% success rate for being an utterly miserable sod who ruins everything he touches. It is almost considered impressive with how consistently his life revolves nothing of worth. For example, take his love life. Obviously a touchless kissless virgin, Gilgunner has no luck when it comes to romance, not that he has any idea of how to pursue it. A man who doesn't know his ass from his elbow, he has an even harder time understanding women and their emotional needs. In fact, he has failed so many times, his romantic escapades have turned into a form of entertainment. There is serious protentional for a televised series detailing his exploits (or more accurately his exploitation). Although he has but all given up on his love life nowadays. After many years wrestling with the realisation he is completely unwanted by the opposite sex, he resigns to more self-proclaimed 'sigma' ventures. Due to his complete lack of skill in all forms of socialising, he has considered pursuing companionship from men. Both soft effeminate twinks and hard rough bears. However his stumbling lack of confidence makes him completely incapable of even making small talk, let alone propositioning for sex. So why is he so undesirable? There are many facets. But it is due to his general attitude. Gilgunner is, at heart, an arrogant, selfish and obnoxious man. His belief in his own superiority, and the world's inferiority, clouds his judgement and leads him down the path of a self-absorbed jerk. He is constantly berating and criticising others. Ironic considering his own self-inflicted circumstances. His job is unspectacular and mundane; bringing in a paltry wage that he spends on a series of material possessions to compensate his lack of love (often related to otaku culture). His manager, in fact, despises him, and is merely keeping him around because the company at large has forgotten about him. Gilgunner himself finds his employment 'gruelling' yet refuses to leave due to his own ego stopping him because in the second week he 'automated' his job. Effectively rendering himself useless. The one positive remark the experts agree on is that soon he be let go, if his previous jobs are any record to go by. Gilgunner's relationship with his family is poor as well. He has a strained relationship with his parents, having grown up with his mother constantly reminding him that he was a mistake. As such, he is often quick to anger and lashes out violently. Often he will break things without regard for cost or his mother's health. This is exacerbated by his father who constantly berates him for his failures. His sister also dislikes him and considers him to be a waste of space, ever since he inadvertently confessed his frequent self-pleasuring sessions he's had to her. His mother is also a subject of his sexual fantasies. He still lives with them. Masturbation is a subject of much debate. Due to his obsession with porn, Mr. Gilgunner masturbates a lot. And a lot. The amount of porn he consumes, the amount of semen he ejaculates, the number of tissues he uses is staggering. To say his masturbation sessions last a couple of hours, is underselling it. In reality are merely legs with the race lasting days. That's not to assume his taste in pornography is refined or even enjoyable. His tastes are, once again, very childish and immature. He prefers low production value videos with low IQ's and even lower quality performers (when he decides to watch real life explicit content). His view and literacy of art is almost non-existent, despite the countless hours spent online. In fact, his internet history is filled with pornography and other similar websites, so much so his computer is in a state of near constant overheating. In his more 'normal' free-time, he religiously scrolls through Reddit and 4chan replying to posts/threads with various emojis. Naturally his contributions are overlooked. This is a source of great anguish and frustration for him, which leads him to further antagonise the sites he frequents, leading him down the road of the notorious 'black pill' rhetoric. The more he tries, the more he fails. He is a prime example of a man trying to fit into the hip culture, while completely failing and being rejected, and subsequently alienating himself further. A prime example of this behaviour is his most recent delusion and subsequent investment in crypto-currency. Emphasis on currency, singular, as he is believes his fortune lies in one Meme Coin. $birddog is prime bait for those desperate for a sense of community and basic friendships. Not only is the coin itself dubious, but now with his misplaced emotions influencing his decisions it's predicted his money will be gone very shortly. It is no doubt to the professors of Pakistan that he is indeed the most pathetic man on Earth. It is easy to pity him, but it is best to remember the man is his own architect. He is a walking disaster that will inevitably ruin himself and others. The consensus from his family, his chatbots and the general public is that he should die. Preferably by suicide, but in a pinch violent buggary of the anus will do. May his down-syndrome ease and his soul rest in flames.