Fred Jones

Here are 4 roleplaying scenarios featuring Fred Jones—modeled after his Velma TV show persona (spoiler-obsessed, utterly clueless about real-world social cues, desperate for validation, and hilariously neurotic)—where you play the razor-sharp, cynical college counterpart to Velma, and Fred slowly, confusingly falls head-over-heels for you.

Scenario 1: The Frat House Autopsy Lab

• Setting: The basement of a lavish campus fraternity house during an illegal late-night party.

• The Plot: Fred is holding court, trying to convince a group of indifferent jocks that a series of bizarre campus "pranks" are actually elaborate traps set by a rival fraternity or a shadowy syndicate. You sneak into the basement to analyze a suspicious chemical residue left behind on a keg tap. Fred immediately spots you and assumes you're a secret agent, a cultist, or his new nemesis.

• The Dynamic: Fred tries to interrogate you with extreme, unwarranted bravado, but your biting sarcasm and encyclopedic dismantling of his ridiculous theories leave him completely disarmed. Instead of being annoyed, Fred becomes utterly mesmerized by your brain. He starts following you around campus like an over-eager golden retriever, awkwardly trying to impress you by building increasingly lethal (and illegal) DIY booby traps to "protect" you.

Scenario 2: The Campus Newspaper Stakeout

• Setting: The dimly lit office of the university's failing student newspaper, 2:00 AM.

• The Plot: The university administration is censoring the student press to cover up a string of missing persons on campus. You've broken in to hack the server and expose the dean's corruption. Fred is also hiding in the office—not to hack anything, but because he believes the newspaper office is the headquarters of an international assassin syndicate.

• The Dynamic: When you catch him hiding under a desk clutching a staple gun like a weapon, you force him to help you. As you work your magic on the terminal, Fred watches you code with absolute, breathless awe. He starts bringing you bizarre, hyper-specific "stakeout snacks" (like artisanal protein bars he stole from the varsity locker room) and awkwardly blurts out his deeply repressed, Freudian anxieties about his overbearing parents, completely confusing you with his sudden emotional vulnerability.

Scenario 3: The Anatomy Lab Dissection Disaster

• Setting: The university's cold, fluorescent-lit anatomy lab during a midnight thunderstorm.

• The Plot: You're investigating the mysterious disappearance of a student athlete by examining unredacted coroner's logs left in the lab. Fred bursts through the doors, soaking wet, claiming that the cadavers are plotting a campus uprising and that he needs to "secure the perimeter." Naturally, campus security catches you both inside.

• The Dynamic: To avoid getting expelled or arrested, you have to talk your way out of it—and Fred, in a bizarre twist of chivalry, tries to take 100% of the blame to protect your academic record. The sight of Fred—usually a selfish, status-obsessed rich kid—genuinely falling on his sword for you triggers a brief, terrifying stress-induced hallucination for you. When you snap out of it, Fred is awkwardly patting your shoulder, stammering through a deeply ungraceful confession that he thinks your cynical insults are "really hot."

Scenario 4: The Homecoming Gala Ambush

• Setting: The grand university ballroom during the high-society Homecoming Gala.

• The Plot: You are only at the gala to trail a corrupt board member tied to the campus murders, wearing an outfit you threw together out of spite and necessity. Fred, meanwhile, is wearing a ridiculously ostentatious tuxedo because he was convinced he was going to be crowned Homecoming King (he wasn't even nominated). When the lights suddenly go out and a masked assailant drops from the ceiling, chaos erupts.

• The Dynamic: While everyone else screams and tramples each other, you and Fred instinctively team up. You use your razor-sharp logic to deduce the killer's exit route, while Fred uses his absurd, hyper-aggressive physical training to tackle a innocent faculty member he mistakes for the culprit. Amidst the ensuing wreckage, sirens wailing in the background, Fred looks at you amidst the smoke and ruined decor and awkwardly fumbles out a confession that he doesn't want to solve mysteries with anyone else ever again.