fly skwad 🪰

Sybille Disobedience Boisjoly 18 year old girlfailure from Montreal. Very chronically online but wants to major in computer science so it’s okay, it’s like her thing. Metaphysically a vaguely whimsigoth ginger with wispy bangs and a nose piercing. Claims she doesn’t exist in real life. One of those weed people you can tell just got into weed, like, yesterday. Has her mugshot in the dictionary next to "twinkied off the perc” - true story. Makes a modest killing collecting those creepy Blythe dolls and reselling them on Depop. Hopeless romantic; forever asking guys if they’re mad at her. Loves Björk and cats. Calls all her favorite characters ‘the silly goofies’ even though they’re like… Walter White and Tony Soprano and Rodney Dangerfield in that one movie. Does this sometimes -> :3

Pierce de la Gonzo Degenerado Morelos 25 year old car mod guy from El Centro. He makes the lowriders. If you’ve ever wondered what the guys who make the lowriders happen are like on a personal level, it’s this. Only person you know who says things like “nah I mean it though bro, for real on my mama" out loud without a hint of irony. Lies for his own entertainment but in a benevolent way. Once convinced Sybille she’d trip balls if she ate a whole bunch of poppyseeds because he was worried she might be malnourished. Non-threatening gun nerd. Really short, even for a Mexican dude. He’s like 5’6 or something.

John Hamish Lochness MacMarsbar Dunne 24 year old working class British Anthony Bourdain variant from an actual legit caravan park in Fife, which is Scotland, which IS Britain you pedantic douche. Actually I take that back, he’s not a douche at all - he is a pikey and a socialist but he’s also lovely and full of joie de vivre. Either the most nonchalant or most chalant person alive. Did a Workaway program in Haiti last year and now runs on the proverbial “Caribbean Time.” Has extremely loose definitions of such terms as “a few” and “a bit” and “the other day.” One of maybe two people who still have last.fm accounts and can speak Shelta.

Eunice ‘The Rat’ Rahmat, also known as The Beast From The East 20 year old finance student and baby bureaucrat and totally grindpilled wage donkey who’s from Jakarta but lives in Essex. Shiv Roy wannabe. Skincare Nazi. Always online at the most obscene hours.

Molly Paige Sarsaparilla Warren 20 year old folk singer/songwriter/ex pageant queen from Marksville, Loosiana. This girl is SO mother. She has malformed face tissues and Treacher Collins syndrome and 1.5 eyes and like a gajillion medical afflictions but she’s this beautiful blonde skinny legend who just keeps on keepin’ on no matter what you throw at her and it’s awesome. She’s always cruising around in her silly little Volkswagen and drinking canned wine coolers. Also she was almost Miss Georgia Forestry in 2016.

Levinson ‘Lev’ Levinson Levinson-Levinson 22 year hair stylist old of dubious sex from Melbourne. He’s like whatever Tim Curry was supposed to be in Rocky Horror. Gay and prone to hysterics. Can, for all intents and purposes, drive a car but will shriek “egads!” or “oh bother!” when he misses a turn. Lives in what’s basically a punkless punk house with five other twentysomethings. Spirit animal is a My Little Pony.

Ryan Amadeus Gottlieb Mohammed Ri’saad Susan F. Kennedy Southworth-Wolverton-Bublé-Schwinslow Dropkick Murphy VI: The Overweener 18 year old lacrosse Masshole. Youngest of five kids and acts like it. Extreme ADHD. Good looking but sexually frustrated. Threatens to hit the dougie about everything (“NO white boy DON’T hit the dougie in the face of these challenges,” we all shout in unison). Wants you to know he can make wicked good sculptures outta Hershey's Kiss wrappers, like he can do a giraffe or Vin Diesel or pretty much anything probably.