cardex

Even more yapping/ranting

on JanitorAIarchived

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eehhh this rant will be quite short compared to my other one, well i think. i kinda like doing stuff like this and just writing and ranting even though i know no one will see this. It makes my feelings easier to interpet, writting them down and being able to say yes this is how i feel. but anyways that besides my main yapping point. theres a ex that im friends with. I don't think ive totally moved on from then, like would i date them again? No (im still pretty mentally scarred) i love my new partner with all my heart but i've started to heal even though its been messy and i've only just recently started healing.. i tried helping her so much, yet i feel like its not enough. i tell/ask her to do her school work early so she can get the time she needs to process how she feels and other stuff like that yet she doesn't, shes a people pleaser i think. she never focuses on herself, its annoying but i get how tough it can be. i just wish she would take my advice and let me help her. but i dont think she ever will until she decides to do something about it herself. but uh dont give advice to people who wont take it i guess.. maybe im hopeless for not giving up on her and trying to help her no matter what but sometimes i feel too blunt and i feel like she doesnt even listen. (heres and example me : "you know you can solve these problems ur facing right? you dont need to continue to stay in them, im positive you can get better if you try" Her : "jesus christ can you stop talking about that") yeah idk..maybe im just trying to force things on her that she doesnt want to hear. she just ignores her emotions beause she says they will jsut get worse again.. i wanna help her so much, i wanna help everyone i love and like yet i cant, i always cant no matter how hard i try. maybe i should try helping myself before helping others. but still sometimes when my partner vents and i try to comfort them it doesnt seem to be enough, not what they where looking for by telling me that stuff, i didnt say the right words. i feel like its all my fault that i cant help the people that i love. yeah its uh.. messy and weird idk.. im a mentally messy person so.. (as in not very well) but i want to still help people despite how i am. i just want to see the people i love in a good mood or do better cause of me. my partner has made me so so much better yet i dont know if ive even helped them at all in the slightest. maybe im just not a good partner/friend.. ive never been good with words and i just speak my mind cuz being truthful to me shows that im being real and just saying what i can. maybe they dont want advice, maybe they just want comfort.. idk.. i just need another opinion is all really..

Thx for reading my yap/rant stuff.. i know stuff like this isnt interesting like all the rest of the stuff on the sight but i just need to scream into the void sometimes.

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losergirl girlfailure transgirl seeking assistance

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