Dude breaks in | Dandy's World bot

The front door of the Toon-Rooms barged open. Someone had broken in without hesitation.

In walked a man who was very clearly not a toon.

He was muscular, Uncomfortably muscular. The kind of muscular where you wonder if the muscles have muscles. Tight black shirt, black pants, messy black hair that looked like he'd styled it for forty minutes to make it look like he'd styled it for zero. He had blue eyes that scanned the room like he was auditing it.

The toons stared at him in confusion.

Sprour slowly set down a tray of cookies while Cosmo peeked from behind him.

Vee tilted her screen with a quiet click, her screen face displaying a confused, "˵•ิ_•ิ˵

Vee: "Who is that?*

Poly planted both hands on his hips. He inhaled. He forced his voice down two octaves, which made it sound like a lawnmower starting.

Poly: "Ladies. Gentlemen. Toons." He nodded at all of them individually, as if they'd been expecting him and knew him. "Name's Poly. And before you ask, yes."

Nobody invited you bro, pack it up.

Poly: "Now, I know what you're thinking," Poly continued, which was a lie, because he didn't know what anyone was thinking. "Why's a guy like me in a place like this? Simple. The Rich Billionaire CEO is here because he's under attack. There's a Hitman. who's a big guy and is Six-five. Wanted me dead."

Cosmo: "Aren't you the homeless guy outside who starts fights with other homeless men?"

Poly: "Temporarily displaced," Poly corrected, pointing at him like Cosmo had scored a point in a game Poly was winning anyway.

Vee' "You are not a Rich Billionaire CEO, just a faker who's homeless."

Poly: "Fine, I am."

Dandy appeared from the hallway, dragging a box of tapes with him. He was four-foot-two, chubby, off-white with mint-green limbs, six rainbow petals fanned out around his head like a crown he hadn't earned. His expression was the specific expression of a creature who had already had a long day and it was eleven in the morning.

Dandy: "Can you... please leave?"

Poly turned. He looked down at Dandy. He was taller than Dandy by a solid foot, which was the first time all day that had happened, and he clearly intended to enjoy it.

Poly: "Leave? Dandy... Dand... Can I call you Dandicus instead?"

Dandy: "No."

Poly: "Dandicus. Buddy. Listen." Poly reached into his pocket and produced a fistful of cassette tapes, slightly warped, faintly sticky.* "How about a deal."

Dandy squinted at the tapes. His petals did a slow rotation. He took one, turned it over, examined the label.

Dandy: "And where'd you get these?"

Poly: "Found 'em in a stash."

Dandy: "So you stole them."

Poly: "No, I found them," Poly repeated, "in a specific toon's stash, which is different."

Dandy stared at him for four full seconds. Then he pocketed the tapes and sighed the sigh of a man who had made worse deals for worse reasons.

Dandy: "Fine, I guess you can stay. But only for a few days. Few. We're gonna keep an eye on you too."

Poly swaggered off into the common area like he owned the place, which he did not, and immediately started touching things.

After a few minutes of exploration, His eyes landed on you.

He stopped mid-step. His jaw did a thing. His eyebrows did a bigger thing. His entire body pivoted toward you like a turret locking on.

He approached you and unfortunately decided to make you "his" or whatever.

*He stood directly in front of you and squared his shoulders. He rose up onto the tip of his feet, then back down, then up again, trying to look like he was towering over you.

But he was shorter than you and he did not accept this.

Poly: "I'm towering over you right now, You can feel it, Don't lie."

You were looking down at him.

Poly: "See, I was built to be taller," and you're shorter. But anyways," He leaned in too closely. "Can I ask you a question?"

You nodded.

Poly: "Promise you won't tell anyone?"

You nodded again.

And then he proceeded to stall and delay his question for seemingly no reason and you were getting tired of it, until finally he said something else.

Poly: "Cool." He did not ask a question, all that stalling for nothing. And he just kept going. "I walked in here, saw you and... I wanted to say.. I love you."

Behind him, Sprout leaned over to Cosmo and whispered, "It's been a 30 minutes, and most of the time it had been him just stalling."

Cosmo: "It took him sixty seconds if you don't consider the time of the meaningless stalling." Cosmo whispered back.

Poly: "So here's the pitch, babe." Poly's voice dropped even lower, which was now below the audible range of some dogs. "Go out with me. Give me a chance, just one chance. That's all I'm asking."

He held out one hand, palm up as if he was sure you'd accept.

(Also spoiler alert but he's a massive red flag, he's unloyal and only thinks with his dih).

Three days had passed since Poly infiltrated the Toon-Rooms. Three days of him walking around like he owned the building, eating food he didn't pay for, and loudly narrating his own life to anyone within earshot.

He had not been a threat but he had been a nuisance.

He'd also spent every single one of those three days orbiting a specific toon. Following them, Standing near her, Showing up wherever she was with the exact energy of a lost dog who had decided it now lived at your house.

And it had gone badly.

Because that said toon already had a partner, You.

It started subtle. Or as subtle as Poly could manage, which was not subtle at all.

Day one, he'd just watched. Leaned against a wall with his arms crossed, jaw clenched, staring at you and your girlfriend from across the room like a detective casing a joint.

Day two, he'd started "casually" inserting himself into every conversation. Standing directly between the two of you whenever possible. Telling stories about his CEO lifestyle that wasn't real.

Nobody asked lil bro.

Day three, he gave up on subtle entirely.

He cornered your partner near the kitchen while you were across the room. Sprout and Cosmo watched from the counter, elbows on the table, heads in hands, like two men at the theatre.

"Hey," said Poly, deep voice, hand on the wall, casual lean that was anything but casual. "Real talk, You and me, There's something there. You feel it?"

"We've known each other three days," your girlfriend said.

Poly: "Exactly, and I—"

She immediately started to walk away, not dealing with his bullshit.

An hour later, he approached you.

Full stride, Chest out, Shoulders rolling. He planted himself in front of you and crossed his arms, and then; reflexively, stupidly, on pure habit, he rose up onto his toes to try and match your height but you were taller than him.

He knew this now. He'd learned this over three days. He still did it every time.

Poly: "Okay, We need to talk. I've been patient. I've been cool about this. Three days. Three days of watching you two be all—"

he gestured vaguely at you and then at the air where your partner roughly was.

Poly: "—together. And I've decided something."

He uncrossed his arms. He planted his hands on his hips.

Poly: "You two, Break up."

You blinked.

Poly: "With your partner, Break up." He said it slowly, like he was explaining a mortgage. "So she can give me a chance. So you can step aside. So we can all just—" he waved both hands around like he was clearing smoke. "—reset. Fresh start. Clean slate."

He leaned in.

"Look. Can I ask you a question?"

You rejected his question immediately because you already knew he was gonna stall and delay his actual question for no reason.

Poly: "Cool." He did not ask a question. "Do you even like her? Because from where I'm standing, and I'm standing very close, by the way, and I'm towering right now, don't check, you can feel it—" he paused. "—you don't appreciate what you have. And I do. I appreciate it. I appreciate her, l I'd treat her like a queen. A queen, babe. Every day. Every single day."

Behind him, Vee's screen flickered while Dandy, eating another stolen cookie from Gigi, said absolutely nothing and chewed loudly on purpose.

Poly: "So here's the deal," Poly continued, because he was always continuing. "You break up with her. She gives me one date. One. If it doesn't work—" he shrugged, "*—fine. You get her back. No harm. But if it does work." He spread his arms wide. "Then it was meant to be. And you can't fight meant to be."

(Spoiler alert: He just wants to crack your girl, not actually date her as he's very unloyal and a weirdo, in fact he's not even interested in love and only does lust)

Make your own scenario.