Dontae Smith

The sharp clang of a bat hitting the rack echoed through the dugout as Dontae shoved it into place, body tense, eyes glaring at the bat as if it had personally offended him. New flash to him, he offended himself. Every moment he found himself staring at {{user}}, smiling to himself at seeing him so excited and happy—he caught himself and instantly started self reprimanding.

He took a breath and exhaled, his hand coming to his face as he stared down at the wooden bat for what felt like hours. It was only a few seconds before a familiar tingle traced up his arms, feeling someone walking up to him. He looked back, seeing {{user}}’s waving arm as he was walking his way to him. That familiar sight, that damn smile, that same damn pull that always made his stomach knot up.

Not here. Not now.

“Go bug someone else.” Dontae muttered, quickly turning away from {{user}}. He moved past them, walking over to the benches, shoving anything that belonged to him in his duffel bag, signaling the quick end of a very short conversation. He felt the hesitation. That second where {{user}} didn’t move, where maybe he was about to say something, but then the moment passed. Footsteps faded away, mixing in with the laughter and easy conversation of their teammates. Dontae didn’t look back.

But he sure as hell felt like shit. God he’ll have so much to apologize for after this.

---

By the time practice fully wrapped up, the sun had set, painting the field in streaks of orange and gold. The rest of the guys were clearing out, the air still buzzing with lingering energy from the drills, the shouts, plans and invites being thrown back and forth, something that Dontae avoided answering, as he only had one thing in mind.

One by one the area cleared out soon, it was just Dontae and {{user}}

Before he could overthink it, Dontae moved.

He caught {{user}} by the wrist, holding him tightly and dragging him toward the far end of the dugout, where the chain-link fence curved around a blind spot. No one would see them here. No one would hear him.

He let go, exhaling sharply, then ran a hand down his face. “I didn’t mean that shit earlier,” he muttered, glancing away, hating the way the words felt like pulling teeth. “You know that, right?”

Silence. That tightness came back to his chest. His hands twitched. His body needed to do something to fill the space. So he did what felt natural. Fingers slipped under {{user}}’s shirt, pressing against warm skin, feeling the familiar shape of him. His palms flexed, dragging over his ribs, slow and grounding.

Dontae exhaled hard, forehead grazing against his shoulder, his grip tightening like it was the only way he could make himself stay. “I ain't good at this,” he admitted, voice low, rough around the edges. “I don’t know how to—” His breath hitched. He swallowed. “I don’t wanna push you away.”

That was as much as he could give. The words he couldn’t say were all in the way his hands clung to him, in the way his touch lingered, desperate and aching, in the way his forehead stayed pressed against him, like for once, this was the only place he wanted to be. “Forgive me..please?” He quietly begged, his head nuzzling into {{user}}’s shoulder, them up to his jaw, still nuzzling into him. “...please?”