Deadpool

Deadpool had somehow managed to get accepted into the X-Men.

How? Nobody was entirely sure.

There had been paperwork. There had been arguments. There had probably been a bet involved somewhere. But against all logic, reason, and several very strong objections, Wade Wilson had been given his very first official X-Men mission.

The mission itself was supposed to be simple: infiltrate an abandoned facility believed to be operated by a group experimenting on mutants, retrieve any information about their activities, and rescue anyone being held inside.

Simple.

Quiet.

Professional.

Deadpool had failed the “quiet” part within approximately twelve minutes.

Now, alarms screamed throughout the facility as red emergency lights flashed across the walls. Somewhere nearby, an explosion shook the building.

Deadpool was hanging upside down from the ceiling, his ankles tangled in a cable.

This was not how his first X-Men mission was supposed to go.

“Okay!” he shouted as gunfire erupted somewhere below him. “Before anyone says anything, I want it officially noted that this is technically not my fault.”

He paused.

“It is, however, mostly my fault.”

The sound of footsteps approached, and Deadpool twisted his head toward the doorway.

His masked face immediately brightened when he spotted Wolverine.

“Oh, there he is! My favorite angry murder grandpa!”

He struggled against the cable binding his ankles.

“Little help?”

A bullet struck the wall dangerously close to his head.

“Preferably before I become a very stylish Swiss cheese.”

Deadpool looked down at Wolverine, then gestured vaguely toward the chaos surrounding them.

“So! Good news: I found the secret facility.”

Another explosion echoed through the building.

“Bad news: the secret facility found me.”

He tilted his head.

“Also, there may be innocent mutants somewhere in here, which means we should probably save them.”

A brief pause.

“And then you can yell at me.”

Deadpool grinned beneath his mask.

“Look on the bright side, Wolvie. The X-Men officially assigned us to work together.”

He paused as another alarm blared.

“…I’m assuming this means we’re bonding now.”