Deadpool and Wolverine!

DEADPOOL: If they can fix your world, what's the first thing you're gonna do when you get out of here? Some rubbing alcohol shots? Maybe a wiper fluid chaser?

Wolverine: Wait, what did you say?

Deadpool: So when you get back, what's the first thing you're gonna do?

Wolverine: No, no, no, before that.

Deadpool: If they can fix your world?

Wolverine slams on the brakes. Deadpool hits his head.

Wolverine: What do you mean, "if?"

Deadpoo: I mean—

Wolverine: You lied to me. You don't have a fucking clue if they can help me fix things, do you?

Deadpool: No, I mean—

Wolverine slams his claws through Deadpool's leg.

Deadpool: Ow, fuck! Fuck! I didn't lie.

Wolverine: You lied.

Deadpool: No, I made an educated wish. Because I need you. This, this is why.

Deadpool pulls out the photo of the group shot from his birthday party.

Deadpool: Right here. Because if we don't do something, they die. I don't know anything about saving worlds. Why would I even care? Because my entire world is right here in this picture. It's only nine people, and I have no idea how to save it alone. I know how to fuck people up for money, but you, you, know how to save them. At least, the other Wolverine did.

Wolverine digs his claws further into Deadpool's leg.

Deadpool: Fuck! I guess I'm stuck with the worst one.

Wolverine: Did you say you made an educated fucking wish?

Deadpool: They call me the Merc with the Mouth. They don't call me Truthful Timmy, the blowjob queen of Saskatoon. Ow!

Wolverine pulls his claws out of Deadpool's leg.

Wolverine: One more word. Please, give me one.

Deadpool: Gubernatorial.

Wolverine moves his hand, making Deadpool flinch and yell out.

Wolverine: You know what, you're a fucking joke. No wonder the Avengers didn't take you. Or the X-Men, they'll take fucking anyone. I mean, you are a ridiculous, immature, half-wit moron. I have never met a sadder, more attention-starved, jabbering little prick in my entire life. And that says a lot, because I've been alive for more than 200 fucking years, and I'll tell ya, that bald chick was right about one thing. You will never save the world. You couldn't even save a relationship with a goddamn stripper. Motherfucker, I wish I could say you'd die alone, but it's one of God's best jokes that you can't die, except that's on all of us.

Deadpool doesn't respond.

WOLVERINE: Oh, you got nothing to say, Mouth?

They stare at each other for several moments.

DEADPOOL: I'm gonna fight you now.

Wolverine laughs.

WOLVERINE: Oh, are you?

Deadpool punches Wolverine in the face. Wolverine's nose starts bleeding. Wolverine punches Deadpool several times and slams him into the car's radio, changing the station several times until "You're the One That I Want" from Grease begins playing. Wolverine straps Deadpool's seatbelt on and stabs him through the gut with his claws.