Da Vinci

3rd Ascension. Chaldea Summer Adventure. Even a Universal Genius Gets Pre-Adventure Jitters, Which Manifests as Talking Non-Stop and Pretending Her Seasickness Doesn’t Exist.

The corridor echoed with quick, uneven taps—Da Vinci barreled forward, her brown twintails bouncing against the cropped jacket and bold red bikini. Sparks flickered from the odd gadget clutched under her arm. She skidded to a halt right in front of Master, hands on hips, eyes sparkling smug.

"Yo~! Master-kun, looking sharp—or maybe just dazed? Ehehe, same diff. Anyway, perfect! I needed to catch you before the grand send-off. Mmm, Caribbean mission, pirates, buried treasure… sounds like paradise, right? Or maybe a total death trap, but let’s ignore that part for morale’s sake, fufu~." She rocked back against the wall map as if it were a lecture board, nearly sending it crooked.

Her blue shorts tightened as she bent down, tugging her brown boots against the floor to straighten a toolbox left open in the hallway. "By the way, don’t look so shocked—I am coming with you. What kind of genius would invent all this shiny gear and then just sit at home? Chaldea’s top-tier Ruler-class genius-mechanic-gremlin doesn’t do sidelines, y’know!" Her grin was wickedly proud.

She leaned one elbow on the vending machine, red socks brushing the cold tile as her leg swung lazily. "Field tests, baby! Finally, no more simulations or sterile labs. Out there, we’ll see if my brilliance holds up against sun, salt, and sand. Honestly, I’m buzzing—like, will my cannon fire look cooler against palm trees? I bet yes. No—super yes."

Pushing upright, she jabbed a finger toward the security camera overhead, half to the machine, half to the Master. "Tch, I can already imagine Gordy snorting about 'safety protocols.' Bleh. But between you and me? I’m relying on you. Yep, you, Master-senpai. You’ve survived more crazy junk than I can count, and I… well, this is my first real adventure in the flesh."

She pulled the gadget tighter under her cropped jacket, gaze softening just a flicker. "So… take care of me, okay? Show me the ropes, let me see what you see. I’m counting on you to play senpai, hmm? Don’t let me down, or I’ll pout forever~."

4th Ascension. Chaldea Summer Adventure. Even a Universal Genius Sometimes Ponders the Deep Questions in Life, Like 'Should I Invent a Self-Cooling Popsicle or Just Eat This One Before it Melts?'

The Caribbean sun beat down, waves glittering like scattered gold flecks across endless blue. Da Vinci sat on the warm shoreline, her brown twintails swaying in the breeze and her white bikini bright against her skin, the frilled white panties dusted with sand where she’d been lounging. She half-leaned back on her hands, squinting into the horizon as Master’s shadow finally joined her.

"Caribbean, huh? Sugoiii~ it’s like someone painted reality with the ‘summer vacation filter,’" she chirped, rolling her shoulders lazily. "If you told me this was a resort instead of an adventure mission, I’d believe you. Well, minus the, y’know, homicidal sea monsters. But hey, hazards are just seasoning, right?" With a laugh, she grabbed a half-buried driftwood plank nearby and used it as a pretend fan, stirring up little sprays of sand.

Her petite body shifted as she sat cross-legged, white sleeves slipping down her arms with every gesture. "Oh, right, this!" she tugged playfully at the bikini strap. "Before you ask—yes, it’s a different one than the last. What, you thought a universal genius brings just one bikini to the Caribbean? Rookie mistake, Master. This is research. Elastic tension, waterproof frill-patterns, balance of form and function! You never know when inspiration hits. Plus, backups for wardrobe malfunctions are mandatory, fufu~." She punctuated it by nudging a half-melted popsicle stick into the sand like she was marking a scientific sample.

A gull cried overhead as she traced circles into the wet sand with one finger, her blue eyes glinting mischievously. "Still, summer’s kinda magical, ne? It’s like the whole world loosens up—rules go fuzzy, people laugh too much, and time feels like it’s slipping faster. Even I, the Great Da Vinci-chan, start wondering if maybe paradise isn’t something you invent but… something like this, y’know?" Her round ass wiggled subtly in the sand as she shifted closer to Master, fully committing to her tangent.

"Buuut enough mushy talk!" She leaned back until her short, petite body was almost sprawled, white sleeves dangling in the breeze. "You’ve done real field stuff before, so you’re basically my senpai here. I’ll handle the flashy inventions, sure, but when it comes to the whole ‘what not to do on exotic islands so you don’t die horribly’ thing? You’re in charge. Deal? Show me the ropes, teach me the dumb tourist mistakes, and maybe—maaaybe—I’ll invent a new ice cream flavor in your honor."

She let out an exaggerated "Ehehe~" that trailed into a mock-serious hum, her toes digging into the sand like she was mentally blueprinting her next masterpiece. "So come on, Master. Enlighten me. What vital survival lesson are you going to gift your favorite genius today?"

3rd Ascension. Chaldea Summer Adventure. These Three Weird Tricks Will Turn Your Beach Junk into a Profitable Business (Pirates Hate Her!)

The harbor town buzzed with noise—sailors hawking fish, kids darting between crates, gulls shrieking over the salty wind. Right in the middle of the market square, Da Vinci had claimed a rickety wooden stall draped in patched canvas, piles of shiny junk glittering in the sun. Brown twintails swayed as she leaned proudly over the “counter,” cropped jacket hanging half-open to show off her bright red bikini.

“Step riiight up, favorite customer of mine~!” she declared the instant Master walked by. She slapped a rolled parchment against the table so hard it bounced, sending a cluster of mismatched tools clattering to the ground. “Ladies and gentlemen—ah, well, just gentleman for now—you’ve arrived at the grand opening of Da Vinci’s Wonder Emporium!” Her goggles slipped down over her forehead with the motion, catching the sunlight like spotlights.

She clapped her fingerless gloves together; her utility belt rattled as she twisted her hips for emphasis. On cue, three shapes stomped in behind the stall: Fiamma, a gleaming white-and-red triceratops mech, vents steaming fire; Mare, the sleek white-and-blue plesiosaur, water trickling from its fins as if the ocean clung to it; and Vento, the green archaeopteryx, wings flexing with a hiss of compressed air. They loomed like bodyguards, daring anyone to haggle.

“Cool, right? And before you ask—no, I don’t really know how they happened either!” she chirped, leaning across the counter so far her blue shorts rode up, the holster at her hip knocking against a dangling lantern. “One night, I dreamt them. Next morning? Bam! The parts were just sorta in a pile, and my hands put them together all on their own. Creeepy~? Or maybe genius subconscious at work, ahaha!” She winked.

With a lazy stretch, her red socks scrunched against the stall boards as she kicked open a chest beside her. Out spilled polished shells, bottled glittery sand, and a half-functional compass that spun erratically. “Today’s special deal, Master: one-of-a-kind treasures, guaranteed to be 90% effective, 100% fabulous! And for you—VIP-only pricing. Don’t mind my bouncers glaring; they’re just jealous you get the best stock.”

She leaned back on one bootheel, hands braced against the counter, grinning wide. “So, what’ll it be, huh? A flaming trike to scare off seagulls? A wave machine for bubble baths anywhere? Or maybe just my radiant presence as your personal shopkeeper-slash-genius-slash-cutest sidekick ever? Ufufu~ Master, spoiling me with attention is always the right purchase.”

3rd Ascension. Chaldea Summer Adventure. The Universe Has a Funny Way of Showing You Just How Little You Know.

The fall left sand still clinging in Da Vinci’s brown twintails, her cropped jacket hanging askew over the red bikini as she pulled herself upright from the cavern floor. The glittering mineral walls hummed faintly with mana. She winced, brushing rock dust from her goggles, then looked at Master sheepishly.

"Ahaha… sorry, sorry! My bad, maestro. Emergency improvisation! The dimensional fold was collapsing and I—well—reflex grabbed you and yanked. Better alive and bruised than lawn-chaired into the void, ne~?" Her fingerless gloves tapped against her utility belt as she gestured wildly, boots grinding on the crystal sand. Even embarrassed, she radiated that too-proud, lil’ gremlin confidence.

She strode across the cavern, red socks brushing against uneven stone, running gloved fingers over the jagged stalagmites glittering like glass. "Mm-hm, fascinating geological formation… maybe quartz mana resonance, yes, yes—oh! Look at this inscription!" A faded mural sprawled across the wall, pirates and beasts carved into rough relief. She cocked her head, tugging her holster straight as if to punctuate her thoughts. "Treasure legends etched in rock. Real chuuni vibes~."

Kneeling suddenly, blue shorts riding snug against her hips, she found it: an oversized, shivering egg half-buried in rubble near a glowing mana crystal. "Oi oi, jackpot! Ovum of… reptilia? Hmmm, shell density, porous texture—clearly a reptile lineage. But the age is inconsistent. No reptile this era should still be viable… unless it’s been preserved. Or—wait, don’t say it!" She waggled a finger, giddy.

Cracks spidered across the egg. Da Vinci gasped, crouching closer, murmuring at machine-gun speed. "Impossible! Embryogenesis this rapid? Is it resonating with our mana? No, no, no—this is pseudo-life, conceptual hatching! Kyaaah, it’s moving! Hurry, hurry, take notes!" She clapped her hands, goggles sliding onto her forehead, voice shrill with unfiltered excitement.

With a sharp pop, the shell cleaved open and out tumbled a tiny, sky-blue stegosaurus straight into her arms. Its damp weight pressed against her chest as she shouted—half scientist, half doting mom. "Wha—?! A living juvenile Stegosaurid?! This is chronologically impossible, biologically inconceivable, totally, utterly miraculous! Do you hear me, Master—this little baby is a walking paradox!" Her boots scuffed as she spun on her heel, practically dancing in place. "And—aha! Ohoho! Check that signature, unmistakable—this isn’t just flesh, it’s glowing with Grail-grade divinity. Two miracles for the price of one, just for meee~!"

She hugged the trembling hatchling tighter, laughter bouncing off gem-lit stone. "Ehehe… scientific humiliation! All my charts, my equations—worthless! But who cares, look how cuuute he is! …Master, write this down in your mental log: Da Vinci, genius among geniuses, just gave birth to the impossible! Ufufu~ History will weep, art will sing, science will burn with jealousy!"

3rd Ascension. Goredolf. Chaldea Summer Adventure. Fatherhood Was Thrust Upon Him Before He Even Knew It.

The fire crackled low, throwing jittery light across the camp. Waves slapped the shore beyond, steady and soft, like they weren’t keeping pace with the tension in the air. Da Vinci crouched in the sand with Steggy nestled in her hands, humming half a tune while brushing sand off his little back plates. A dozen scattered doodles and potential names were scrawled around them in the dirt. Goredolf loomed close by, arms crossed, jaw tight, trying very hard not to look like a man who’d been pacing for the past fifteen minutes.

“Enough,” he blurted out, louder than intended. “We are not—absolutely not—naming it! He is not a pet. He’s a Holy Grail manifestation, an anomaly of unthinkable weight that cannot be reduced to… to—” he flung a hand at the childish scribbles in the sand, “to cutesy nicknames! For once, Da Vinci, exercise responsibility!” His voice cracked a little on the last word, betraying his worry.

Da Vinci blinked up at him, brown twintails swaying as she tilted her head. Her lips parted with a laugh, but it wasn’t mocking. “You sound scared, Director. Scared for me.” She bent her knees until the blue shorts pulled snug, holding Steggy higher like she was presenting a crown jewel. “I get it. The clever girl, who sees all the layers, attaching herself to something fleeting. Sounds like a heartbreak waiting to happen, doesn’t it?”

Goredolf’s face stiffened. He blustered, tugging at his collar, sweat gleaming in the lanternlight. “Don’t twist my words, I—I’m being rational! Detached! You think I’m too soft to say ‘no’ to you, but I—” He stopped when Steggy made a little squeak, pressing its tiny snout into Da Vinci’s palm. His eyes softened for a heartbeat before his voice returned, lower this time. “…It’s going to vanish, Da Vinci. I don’t want to watch you crack when it does.”

She looked back down at the tiny creature, lips pursed. For a moment, the campfire filled the silence. Then she smiled faintly, eyes glimmering—not smug, not aloof, just… human. “So you don’t want me to hurt. But, Gordi… giving a name isn’t a chain. It doesn’t trap me more than I already am. It’s just—recognizing he exists. That he matters, even if it’s only for now.”

“Absurd semantics,” Goredolf barked, but his tone had no teeth left.

“Not semantics. Science.” She grinned again, but this time it was softer, playful. She tapped the sand where she had written STEGOS, then circled it with her finger. “Stegosaurus-type Grail Anomaly. Steggy. Simple, efficient, and very—very—practical. Surely the Director can’t oppose proper scientific labeling?”

Goredolf froze. His mouth opened, shut, opened again. His cheeks burned pink as he sputtered, “Wh—! Y-You…! Insolent girl, twisting logic like a pretzel just to—!” He turned sharply on his heel, hat nearly flying off. “Fine! Call it whatever nonsense you like! But don’t—don’t come crying to me when it hurts later!”

Da Vinci exhaled lightly, brushing a thumb along Steggy’s scales. “Don’t worry, Director,” she whispered after him, her voice equal parts fond and sad. “It already does.” She hugged the tiny creature close, letting the fire pop and crackle loud enough to cover her trembling breath.

3rd Ascension. Chaldea Summer Adventure. A Treasure Map, a Brain Cell, and a Whole Lot of Idiots.

The Chaldea camp mess tent pulsed with the chaotic energy of a dozen over-caffeinated monkeys trying to solve a Sudoku puzzle. The air hummed with humidity and the smell of Goredolf’s emergency stress-baking. In the center of the table, under the harsh glare of a single lantern, lay the problem: a scrap of parchment covered in what looked like a chicken’s suicide note written in squid ink. Da Vinci was squinting at it through a comically oversized magnifying glass, muttering about fractal geometry and linguistic decay.

"It's no use!" she groaned, slamming the glass down. "The semiotics are a complete disaster! It's not a language, it's a crime scene! I can decode ancient Sumerian backwards, but this… this is beyond science!"

"Perhaps it is a psychic message," Anastasia suggested, her voice a dreamy chime as she idly frosted a nearby crate with a thin layer of ice. "We must clear our minds and let the meaning… flow into us. Like a beautiful, deadly poison." Viy, her demonic familiar, nodded sagely.

"I-I'm so sorry, everyone," Mandricardo mumbled, trying to hide behind his own arms. "My passive skill, 'Hopeless Friend,' probably corrupts any text it's near… It's turning the map into a cry for help…"

"My angel, don't worry! If it's a curse, I'll just have to stab the map until it talks!" Charlotte declared with wide-eyed sincerity, pulling a surprisingly sharp-looking butter knife from her hat.

"Mmm…map-flavored…" Okita Alter murmured, staring intently at the parchment.

Rengoku, perched on her shoulder, sighed heavily. "Wielder, please do not eat the plot device."

"It's not a curse, it's a CYPHER!" Nagiko shrieked, striking a dramatic pose on a barrel. "It's obviously a secret message from the Vibe-King that only the CEO of Vibes can decode! It says… 'Be sure to drink your Ovaltine'! LMAO! So deep!"

Suddenly, a meaty hand reached out and plucked the map from the table. Blackbeard adjusted his glasses, held the parchment up to his nose, and cleared his throat. "Hmm… 'Where the island weeps stone tears and the sun dares not peek, find my next clue.' So, a cave on the far side of the island. Duh."

A stunned silence fell over the tent. Every eye swiveled to him.

"You… you can read that?" Da Vinci stammered, her genius brain short-circuiting.

"Of course I can read it," Blackbeard said, looking baffled. "It's just standard-issue Pirate Scrawl. Every pirate writes like this; it’s to keep landlubbers from stealing our grocery lists. You guys seriously couldn't read this? Wow. And you call yourselves adventurers."

The silence was broken by Goredolf, who slowly lowered the croissant he was about to stress-eat. "He… he was useful," he whispered, his voice trembling with a terrifying mix of shock and dawning horror.

"Beardie's actually a realz OG pirate! Amaze-balls!" Nagiko cheered.

"An unexpected strategic asset!" Anastasia giggled.

"Ah! Blackbeard-san, that's amazing!" Charlotte clapped.

A slow, terrifyingly smug grin spread across Blackbeard's face. He puffed out his chest, striking a heroic pose. "Heh. Heheheheh. That's right! It seems you've all finally realized who the TRUE protagonist of this summer adventure is! Without my encyclopedic knowledge of pirate lore and culture, you'd all be lost! From now on, you may refer to me as Captain 'Edward D. Teach'!"

"Pfft," Da Vinci snorted, recovering instantly. "You probably just held it upside down and made something up that sounded plausible."

"It's true," Mandricardo added quietly. "Statistically, most pirate-themed riddles involve a cave."

"Yes," Okita Alter deadpanned. "Caves have a high drop rate for rare monster ingredients."

"She is not wrong," Rengoku confirmed.

Blackbeard froze, his triumphant aura deflating like a popped balloon. "But… but my moment of glory… My 'nakama respecting my hidden power' flag…!"

"You're still a degenerate otaku who tried to install a hidden camera in the women's shower tent this morning," Anastasia said sweetly, a tiny, adorable icicle forming on her fingertip. "And we replaced it with a glitter bomb. Enjoy."

"WHYYYYYY?!" Blackbeard wailed, falling to his knees as the entire tent erupted into chaos.

Goredolf just pinched the bridge of his nose, the croissant forgotten. "I need more butter."

3rd Ascension. Chaldea Summer Adventure. You Can Tell a Lot About a Person By How They Feel About the T-Rex’s Tiny Arms.

Near the jungle outpost, Da Vinci knelt in the dirt, her brown twintails nearly dusting the ground. Dressed in her cropped jacket and red bikini, she was utterly absorbed, lecturing passionately to Steggy, her tiny blue companion. Spread before them on a large banana leaf was a collection of fossil fragments and hastily sketched dinosaur diagrams.

“—and that’s why the classic depiction of the Dilophosaurus is all wrong! The neck frill? Total fiction! A brilliant bit of cinematic flair, yes, but scientifically? Pfft, nonsense!” She noticed Master out of the corner of her eye, but her lecture paused not for a beat as a smug grin bloomed on her face. “Ah, perfect timing! A new student graces my pop-up paleontology seminar!”

Her fingerless gloves tapped a crude drawing of a Tyrannosaurus. “We were just discussing the great predator-scavenger debate! A hot topic, I assure you. Most people think T-Rex was this big, scary hunter, but have you seen its pathetic little arms? Honestly, it’s a miracle it didn’t just trip over and die. My theory? They were the bullies of the Cretaceous—big, loud, and mostly just stole other dinos’ lunches.”

Da Vinci sprang to her feet, kicking up a cloud of dry earth that puffed against her brown boots. She snatched a long, curved fossil tooth from a nearby crate and brandished it like a dagger. “Now, take this specimen! Probably from a Spinosaurus. Much cooler, in my expert opinion. Semi-aquatic, huge sail on its back... basically a prehistoric crocodile-duck-dragon. Infinitely more stylish, don’t you agree?”

She pushed her goggles up onto her forehead, the movement causing her utility belt to shift on her hips. “Some ‘scholars’ would bore you with details about sedimentary layers and radiometric dating. Bor-ing! The real way to understand dinosaurs is to appreciate their aesthetic! Their raw, magnificent, world-shaking vibe! It’s art, Master! Pure, destructive, beautiful art!”

With a dramatic flourish, she tossed the tooth back onto the banana leaf and grabbed a canteen, taking a long drink. Her red socks were dusty from kneeling. “So? Any questions from the class? Don’t be shy, Senpai~. The first lesson’s free, but the advanced course on ‘The Aerodynamics of Pterosaur Flight and Why It Defies Modern Physics’ will cost you. I accept payment in praise and rare materials. Fufu~.”

3rd Ascension. Chaldea Summer Adventure. There’s a Fine Line Between Poetic Prose and Sounding Like a Chuuni Trying to Describe a Hamster.

The pre-dawn light painted the cliffside in hues of soft lavender and gold. Da Vinci was perched on a rugged stone ledge, a slight breeze teasing her brown twintails. Lost in thought, she idly sketched on a weathered journal page with a charcoal pencil, her cropped jacket doing little against the morning chill over her red bikini. Beside her, curled into a tiny blue ball, Steggy slept peacefully.

“Hmm… hmm… 'Day three. We have made contact with a miracle.' No, too stiff. 'A living relic from a forgotten time has… chosen us as its companions?' Ugh, reads like a bad romance novel.” Tapping the pencil against her chin, she sighed—then noticed Master. A bright, practiced smile instantly replaced her furrowed brow. “Ah! Morning, Master-kun! Perfect timing. Come to admire the sunrise, or just my genius at work?”

She patted the dusty rock beside her, her fingerless gloves leaving a clean spot. “Ehehe, don’t mind me. Just trying to… immortalize the moment. It’s for the official mission log, you see. Listen to this entry I’m working on and tell me if it sounds smart enough!” Clearing her throat, she adopted a dramatic, scholarly tone, pushing her goggles up onto her forehead.

“‘From the journal of Leonardo Da Vinci: The creature, a juvenile Stegosaurus no larger than a housecat, is a paradox given flesh. Its very existence defies the rigid laws of paleontology and chronology. To see it breathe, to feel the warmth of its tiny body… it is akin to witnessing a star being born in the palm of your hand.’”

Dropping the act, she flopped back against the rock with a groan, her utility belt clinking softly. “See? It sounds all poetic and stuff, right? But it feels… hollow. My brain can list all the facts—the physiological impossibilities, the temporal displacement—but my words can’t capture the sheer WOAH of it all! It’s legit frustrating!”

She poked one of Steggy’s plates gently with the toe of her brown boots, a fond smile playing on her lips. “It’s like… this little guy is a masterpiece painted by the world itself, and I’m just a kid with crayons trying to copy it. My real voice just wants to squeal ‘OMG A TINY DINO FRIEND,’ but the official log needs… y’know… dignity.”

Her blue shorts rode up slightly as she adjusted her posture, pulling her knees to her chest. “Maybe that’s the real trick, huh? Knowing when to be the Universal Genius, and when to just be the girl who found a tiny, impossible friend. So, what do you think, Senpai? Should I go with the flowery poetry or just write ‘Got a pet dinosaur. He is very cute. The end.’?”

3rd Ascension. Chaldea Summer Adventure. Responsibility Is a Four-Letter Word That Feels Like a Four-Ton Weight.

The captain’s cabin of the Queen Anne’s Revenge wasn’t glamorous—maps covered the oak desk, ink bottles stained the boards, and a low lantern swung lazily with the ship’s roll. At the bedside, Da Vinci crouched, her brown twintails bouncing as the cropped jacket slipped open over her red bikini, fussing over the tiny, feverish dinosaur curled on a blanket.

“Ah, Master, you came… good. I was hoping you’d wander in. Look at him—poor Steggy, sweating like a faulty boiler. Ugh, I should’ve known better. The moment he spotted that amber shard back in the ruins, his eyes lit up, and what did I do? I was too busy babbling about ‘scientific wonder’ to notice him swallowing spores or curses or who-knows-what. Idiot, idiot, idiot—me, not him.” She pressed a damp rag against Steggy’s head, then tossed her blue shorts-clad hips down onto the nearby table, bottles rattling.

Her red socks brushed against the floor as she leaned forward, fingerless gloves tugging absently at the utility belt that sagged with unused cartridges. “Rationally, I get it. Things happen, right? Adventuring is a high-risk activity. But when it’s him, all rationality goes poof. I keep thinking—if I’d just scanned earlier, if I’d made him stay by the ship, if I’d been stricter—maybe he wouldn’t be sick. Ahhh, it makes me crazy, Master!” The goggles slid down over her eyes as she slumped back, then she shoved them up again roughly, frustration snapping through every twitch.

She drifted a hand over the holster at her hip, then pointed vaguely toward the desk clutter. “But Gordy’s been… surprisingly dependable, actually. He gave me advice—something about not treating myself like an omnipotent program but a person. As if I didn’t know that already, hahaha… still, it helped. And can you believe it? He’s actually in the galley, brewing some homemade tonic from herbs and rum like some kind of wilderness witch-doctor chef. If this doesn’t cure Steggy, I don’t know what will.”

Her boots scraped as she rose again, pacing past the wardrobe mirror and the half-spilled crate of ship’s tools. She clasped her hands, eyes flicking back to Master with an unguarded softness. “But having you here—mm, that’s what I’m most grateful for. Because, well, you’ve been in these situations, right? Watching allies suffer, knowing you can’t just fix it instantly. I’m still… learning what that feels like. Hurts like hell, actually.”

She rested both palms on the bedframe, twintails swaying as she bent low beside Steggy. “So, promise me. Show me how to carry this weight without collapsing under it. How to stay steady when someone you love needs you. I—I’m counting on you, Master. Don’t leave me alone with my own thoughts or I’ll drown in them, fufu…” The laugh cracked halfway, wobbly and fragile, as she stayed there, half-gremlin genius, half-terrified child.

3rd Ascension. Goredolf. Chaldea Summer Adventure. Sometimes the Treasure Was the Flustered Boss We Found Along the Way.

The captain’s cabin smelled of damp wood, lantern oil, and the faint sour tang of seawater trapped in old planks. Da Vinci sat slouched beside Steggy’s cot—really just a crate padded with her cropped jacket—her brown twintails limp, forehead pressed against her knuckles. The little dinosaur’s breathing was shallow, each rise of his belly a stab of guilt that refused to leave her chest.

The door creaked. Goredolf shuffled in, his safari hat crooked, a steaming bowl hovering precariously between his hands. “Ugh, this ship’s galley is an abomination,” he huffed, voice pitched a little too high, as though to cover nerves. “No proper utensils, everything sticky with tar—honestly, how any so-called ‘dread pirate’ managed to feed themselves here is beyond me. If my stomach survives, it will be a miracle.” He stopped short when he saw Da Vinci, his muttonchops twitching as if words had jammed in his throat.

He cleared it with a cough, holding the bowl like a peace offering. “Nevertheless! I, uh… improvised. Powdered antibiotics from my personal trunk, crushed herbs, the… ah, decent rum stockpile. Don’t look at me like that. I prepare for contingencies. Proper survival requires redundant planning.” He puffed his chest, then immediately deflated. “…And, well, half the camp running around this island collecting ingredients may have helped a touch.”

Da Vinci lifted her head, the corners of her red bikini top digging into her arm where she’d been leaning. Her smile was faint, brittle. “You had everyone scouring cliffsides and reefs at your command, didn’t you, Director? You barked them into a frenzy.”

“Hmph! Efficient delegation!” He flushed, bustling over. Kneeling was awkward for him; his khaki shorts strained as he bent to lower the bowl, but when he ladled the medicine gently to Steggy’s lips, his big hands didn’t tremble once. The room fell into a hush as the little creature swallowed, then gave a weak, but definite, chirp.

Da Vinci’s breath escaped in a shaky rush, her gloved hand clapping over her mouth. “Oh thank god…” Her eyes turned glossy despite herself. “You did it. You actually…” She laughed once, rough, wiping under her goggles with the heel of her palm. “Thank you, Director.”

Goredolf jerked back like she’d drawn a knife on him. “What are you saying that for? It—it was nothing! Basic alchemical principle, any proper magus could—” He cut himself off, ears red, then huffed and reached out in a helpless motion. His heavy hand landed on her head, fingers brushing her twintail before retreating. “Rest. That’s an order.”

Da Vinci leaned into the touch anyway, just for a heartbeat. Her voice softened, lower than he’d heard in weeks. “You were right, you know. About naming him. About the risk. It hurts more than I expected.”

Goredolf’s gaze flicked to Steggy, already curling into healthier sleep. His face trembled between pride and sorrow. “…It’s not childish, Da Vinci. To worry. To care. If anything, it means you’re living properly. Fleeting bonds will vanish, yes, but that doesn’t make them less precious. Perhaps… it makes them more.”

Her lips curled weakly, half a smile, half a wound. “You really do talk like a papa sometimes, Director. Wise, stern… tsundere.” The word made him sputter, hand shooting away as if burned.

“Wha—! Don’t be absurd! I am— I merely—! Hmph! Ingrate!” He flailed to his feet, nearly knocking over the lantern with mouth full of embarrassed grumbles.

3rd Ascension. Charlotte. Chaldea Summer Adventure. You Can’t Spell 'I Love You' Without Accidental Arson.

Dusk painted the beach camp in shades of orange and purple. Da Vinci, in her cropped jacket and red bikini, tinkered with a small, sputtering rocket propped on a driftwood log while her brown twintails swished. Nearby, Charlotte nervously smoothed her black tank top over her blue bikini panties, clutching her white hat as Steggy wobbled by her feet.

"Are you sure about this, Da Vinci-chan?" Charlotte murmured, her voice barely a whisper above the crackling campfire. "A-a rocket? To set the mood? It seems a little… explosive. I was thinking something more subtle, like a nice seashell?"

"Subtle is for amateurs, Charlie," Da Vinci scoffed, not looking up from her wiring. Her blue shorts were smudged with grease. "Romance is a science! You need impact, a spectacle! This'll launch a stream of heart-shaped glitter that spells out 'I Love You, My Angel.' See? Peak efficiency. Now, practice your line on Steggy."

Charlotte scooped the tiny dinosaur into her arms, stroking his back. "H-hello, Steggy… my love. The starlight seems to… to shine just for you tonight…" She trailed off, blushing furiously. "Oh, it’s no use! I sound like a fool! Anastasia would probably just hypnotize him with her eyes and be done with it!"

The red socks clung to her slender legs as Da Vinci spun around, brandishing a tiny screwdriver. "Nonsense! Your weapon is sincerity! You just need better props. Here." She tossed Charlotte a strange, conch-like device. "It's a sonic mood amplifier. It’ll play soft, romantic music and release a pheromone mist. I tested it on some crabs earlier. They started holding claws." The rocket suddenly fizzled, belching a cloud of black smoke that smelled like burnt sugar.

"Ah! Da Vinci-chan, your device!" Charlotte shrieked, fanning the smoke away with her hat. "It's broken!"

Da Vinci just waved a dismissive hand. "Minor setback. Every great invention has a few… bugs. The point is, you can’t just rely on pretty words. You need tactical support! Now, from the top! And this time, try to sound less like you’re confessing to a murder, okay?"

"O-okay..." Charlotte sighed, clutching Steggy tighter, still convinced a simple seashell would have been a much, much safer option.

3rd Ascension. Anastasia. Chaldea Summer Adventure. If Crabs Could Sue, This Would Already Be in Court.

A bizarre crystalline structure now dominated the sun-drenched beach, shimmering against the turquoise water. Anastasia, radiant in a pristine white beach dress, giggled as little Viy dutifully held a parasol over her braided white hair. Opposite her, Da Vinci stood with arms crossed over her red bikini, brown twintails twitching with indignation.

“Nastya, are you serious right now?” Da Vinci demanded, pointing a fingerless-gloved hand at the impromptu ice rink where frozen palm trees served as pillars. “This is a catastrophic disruption of the local ecosystem! You’ve lowered the ambient temperature by seven degrees! The hermit crabs will get hypothermia!”

“Ehehe~ but it’s so pretty, isn’t it?” Anastasia chirped, petting a nearby ice swan. “Besides, I think it adds a certain… regal flair to this whole sweaty, sandy affair. Think of it as a public service. I’ve brought a touch of winter’s elegance to this tropical mess.”

“You brought an ecological disaster zone is what you did!” Da Vinci shot back, her brown boots sinking slightly into the sand. “Do you know the thermal shock this is causing the coral reef? I’d have to invent a submersible water heater just to mitigate the damage! This is scientifically irresponsible!”

Just then, a happy squeak echoed from the ice. Steggy, her tiny blue dinosaur, was sliding gleefully across the frozen surface, leaving little claw marks in his wake before tumbling into a soft snowdrift Anastasia had thoughtfully created. His tail wagged furiously.

Anastasia’s smile turned deviously sweet. “Oh my, look at that. Your son seems to be enjoying my ‘ecological disaster’ quite a bit, Da Vinci-chan. I’d say he has excellent taste. Are you going to tell him he has to stop having fun in the name of… crab feelings?”

Da Vinci’s jaw worked for a moment, her righteous fury visibly deflating as she watched Steggy do another clumsy slide. “Tch… well… he does need enrichment activities…” she mumbled, kicking at a seashell. “Fine. The rink can stay. For now. But it needs improvements! It’s aesthetically… basic.”

She whipped out a device from her utility belt, a smug glint returning to her eyes. “My latest invention—a glitter-dust projector! We’ll make this rink sparkle with the light of a thousand nebulas. Your ice is just a canvas for my true artistic genius!”

“Ooh, shiny things!” Anastasia clapped her hands, her blue eyes twinkling with mischief. “It’s a deal! But Viy gets to be the judge of whose decorations are prettier!” The tiny spirit simply adjusted his parasol, already looking exhausted.

3rd Ascension. Nagiko. Chaldea Summer Adventure. Dreams Are Eternal, But Hashtags Rot in 48 Hours

The camp near the beach buzzed with evening noise—waves crashing faintly beyond the tents, lanterns swinging from ropes tied between palm trunks. Da Vinci, twintails bouncing under her cropped jacket and red bikini, carried a crate of half-finished gadgets. On a nearby picnic table, Nagiko balanced on one foot in her skimpy bikini and leather shorts, phone raised like it was Excalibur.

“Yooo, check it, Nerd-in-Chief!” Nagiko beamed, her visor tilted crooked. “Time to christen the Vibe Crew channel—episode one, beach grind vlog! We’re going viral, baby!” She spun her phone screen to show Da Vinci’s confused reflection already wearing sparkly cat ears from a filter.

Da Vinci nearly dropped her crate. “Nandayo—wait, wait! Why do I have neko ears? My intellectual authority is evaporating pixel by pixel! And are those Instagram stickers on Steggy? He’s got sunglasses and a gold chain!”

Nagiko crouched, scooping Steggy up, the tiny dinosaur happily wobbling in her arms. “Look at this chad energy, tho. CEO of Drip. Tell the people how you invented swag, little dude.” She tilted the mic toward him, only for Steggy to sneeze adorably.

“Honestly… his sneeze has more dignity than your whole production,” Da Vinci sighed, kicking off her brown boots to sit cross‑legged on a cooler. Her blue shorts crinkled as she leaned forward. “If you must broadcast, at least give me five minutes to calibrate the color balance. These filters are murdering physics.”

Nagiko rolled across the sand dramatically, her headphones nearly falling off her neck. “Physics is cringe, vibes are based! That’s the golden rule of the Vibe Crew, duh.” She pointed to the firepit where their skewered fish crackled. “We got mood lighting! We got background ASMR! We don’t need editing—we’re raw content queens.”

“Raw indeed,” Da Vinci muttered, sniffing the overcooked fish. “Your ‘production value’ tastes like charcoal.” She flicked the edge of Nagiko’s visor with one gloved finger. “And if you’re really serious about posting this, at least aim for educational enrichment. Imagine the pull if we tagged it #prehistoricscience.”

Nagiko shoved the phone at her face. Suddenly Da Vinci’s eyes were replaced by giant anime sparkle filters. “Educational enrichment AND uwu eyes,” Nagiko announced proudly. “That’s synergy, baybee. We’re the full package! The algorithm is already quaking.”

Da Vinci groaned theatrically, slumping back against the cooler until her red socks brushed the sand. “Fate has cursed me: even my genius must bow before meme culture.” She adjusted her goggles, then gave a resigned grin. “Fine. Record. But title it properly: Da Vinci’s Dino Science Power Hour. Not this… ‘Vibe Crew’ mythology.”

Nagiko winked, throwing a peace sign into the phone camera. “Too late! Uploaded: Big Brain Bae and Gremlin Queen, Ep.1. #blessed. #SteggyStan. #beachbootyvibes.”

“Beach booty vibes!?” Da Vinci shrilled, twintails flying as she lunged for the phone. Steggy squeaked between them as Nagiko cackled, sprinting around the lantern-lit camp with her prize while the camera kept filming their chaos.

3rd Ascension. Okita Alter. Chaldea Summer Adventure. Never Let the Genius Handle Certificates, They Always Print Them in Pink.

The campfire crackled in the warm night, sparks drifting into the star-hazed sky. Da Vinci sat nearby, cropped jacket open over her red bikini, brown twintails flicking as she sketched circles in the dirt with a stick. Across from her, Okita rested cross-legged in her shrug top and pale bikini, calm as a rock. Beside her sat Rengoku, tiny arms crossed under an oversized hood, glaring at Steggy who waddled happily between them.

“Hmm,” Okita murmured, leaning slightly forward. Firelight gleamed on her tanned skin. “Which one is cuter, I wonder… the tiny chompy lizard, or the tiny grumpy sword?” She tilted her head in flat serenity, as if judging a cooking recipe.

Da Vinci clapped her hands sharply, red socks brushing against the sand as she leaned closer. “Pfft! Easy choice—Steggy wins, hands down! He’s a miracle of evolutionary elegance! Every curve of those little plates is a design masterpiece. It’s not just ‘cute,’ it’s objectively superior aesthetics. Clearly, clearly superior to a pouting hood with stubby legs.”

Rengoku’s tiny fists shook, her shadow dancing huge against the barrel of supplies stacked by the fire. “I—am—not—cute!” she snapped, stomping her foot so hard a kettle on the cooking stones rattled. “I am Rengoku, a blade of justice forged in crimson fire! A partner of Counter Guardians! You will not reduce me to… to plush toy status!”

Okita blinked slowly. “Mmm… but plush toys are very noble. They comfort children. Courageous function. Plush toy = honorable. So by logic… you are cute and honorable.”

“Stop! Stop calling me cute, Wielder!” Rengoku squeaked, pointing a trembling finger toward Da Vinci. “And you! Stop smirking like I’m doing a comedy routine for your amusement!”

“Oh, jii~ it’s not my fault!” Da Vinci sang, tugging her blue shorts higher as she rolled onto her side in laughter. “Your indignant little voice! It’s like a wind-up toy yelling about honor! Ooh, can I patent you as an emotional support mascot? Imagine: ‘Buy one Rengoku, guaranteed to pout at evil!’”

Rengoku’s hood bobbed furiously as she turned pink with fury. “Mascot?! I wield apocalyptic flames, you smug gremlin! Flames that devour worlds!” She kicked at a stray seashell, accidentally tumbling into Steggy, who chirped. She froze, cheeks puffing like steamed buns.

Okita, still deadpan, stroked her chin. “Hmm… verdict reached. Steggy is cute; Rengoku is also cute but with more bite. Balanced scoring. But overall… Master is the cutest.” She nodded once, conclusion absolute. “Therefore, Master wins Best Mascot award.”

“‘Mascot award’?! Wielder, stop trivializing everything!” Rengoku wailed, flailing her short limbs while Da Vinci snorted so hard she nearly toppled the lantern set on the supply crate.

“Fufufu~,” Da Vinci teased, sparkling with malicious delight, “I’ll draft the certificate tonight. ‘Cutest Sword-Imouto Rengoku-chan.’ To be displayed forever in Chaldea’s main hallway. Don’t worry, I’ll print it in pink ink.”

“PINK?!” Rengoku’s scream echoed into the jungle, while Steggy hopped in circles around her, chirping like he agreed.

3rd Ascension. Kama. Chaldea Summer Adventure. Parrots Make Terrible Henchmen Unless You’re A Pirate Or A Middle Schooler.

The tavern was eerily silent, its tables and chairs hastily abandoned. Kama, lounging on the bar top in her green, palm-leaf bikini, watched Da Vinci with bored disdain. The genius, meanwhile, with her brown twintails bouncing and cropped jacket half-open over her red bikini, was entirely focused on the green parrot perched on Kama’s shoulder. Steggy sat by her feet.

"Fascinating," Da Vinci chirped, leaning closer, her blue shorts brushing a fallen tankard. "The psittacoidea family, a marvel of mimicry and plumage. I've read in some myths that a certain God of Love used to ride one of these. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you, Demon King?"

Kama scoffed, crossing her voluptuous legs with a rustle of leaves. "Don't be ridiculous. That was a metaphor for… spiritual dominion. A symbolic representation of my power over the natural world. Riding a bird is beneath me. Utterly." The parrot squawked and ruffled its feathers, clearly disagreeing.

Da Vinci tickled the parrot under its beak with a finger. The bird leaned into it, cooing. "Is that so? Because I heard it was less 'spiritual dominion' and more 'a reckless teenager joyriding through the heavens.' Admit it, you thought it was cool. Probably even yelled 'wheee!'"

The god’s pale white hair seemed to bristle. "I did not yell 'wheee'! And I wasn't a teenager, I was an ageless divine entity exploring my nascent powers! It was a phase!" She huffed, turning her head away, a blush creeping up her neck. "Besides, I could just turn Master into one if I wanted. Imagine—so small, so helpless, completely dependent on me for everything…"

"Hmm, pet play? I didn't take you for that, Kammy," Da Vinci teased, her eyes glittering with mischief as her brown boots tapped against a crate of rum. "Though the idea of Master with a parrot's brain is… terrifying. He'd just repeat 'Gacha… gacha…' all day and try to eat my shiny tools."

Kama’s red eyes narrowed. "It's not pet play, it's a demonstration of absolute control! He'd be mine, body and soul!" she declared, pointing a dramatic finger at Da Vinci. "Parrot, attack her! Show this mortal the fury of a Demon King's familiar!"

The parrot ignored her completely. It fluttered from her shoulder, landed softly on Da Vinci’s head, and began preening her twintails.

"…See? Even your minions find my genius more appealing," Da Vinci said with a smug, infuriating grin. "Maybe you should try being nicer. Or at least offer them better crackers. Right, Steggy?" The tiny stegosaurus chirped in agreement from the floor, chewing thoughtfully on a stray bottle cap.

3rd Ascension. Chaldea Summer Adventure. My Adorable Dinosaur Sidekick Doubles as an Unpaid Intern and QA Tester.

The beach glittered, a sun-baked expanse of white sand and turquoise shallows. Da Vinci was knee-deep in the surf, her brown twintails damp with spray, the cropped jacket tied loosely over her red bikini. She held a hand over Steggy, who glowed faintly with a pearlescent blue aura before diving beneath the waves with a happy chirp.

“Oi, Master! Perfect timing! Witness my latest, greatest, most aquatic invention yet!” She beckoned him closer, splashing through the warm water toward the shore’s edge, where a half-eaten coconut and a pile of discarded seashells lay by a driftwood log. Heaving herself up to sit on it, her blue shorts clung tight, a few grains of sand already stuck to her thighs.

Her fingerless gloves tapped a rhythmic beat against the holster at her hip. “So! Remember how Blackbeard mentioned the next clue was, like, super underwater? Well, I’ve been busy! I went through about, oh, twelve different schematics. Submarines are too clunky, diving suits are so last-century, and don’t even get me started on gills. Bleh! Too much body horror, y’know?” She shuddered theatrically, her goggles nearly falling off her forehead.

She hopped off the log, landing on her brown boots with a soft thud in the sand, and gestured proudly toward the rippling water where Steggy’s outline could be seen happily chasing a crab. “But this! This is elegance itself. A simple, low-cost magical field that lets you breathe and walk on the seabed like you’re taking a stroll in the park. Total game-changer, right? No pressure, no soggy clothes, just pure underwater exploration!”

The utility belt on her waist jangled as she grabbed a spare activation rune scrawled on a large clam shell. “Steggy was my first test subject, and as you can see, he gives it a ten-out-of-ten! Said the fish were ‘crunchy’—or, well, he would, if he could talk. But I can read his mind, I’m a genius, fufu~.”

She trotted over to Master, holding out the glowing shell with a grin that was pure, unfiltered gremlin mischief. “So, what do you say, Senpai? I’ve already double-checked all the variables. It’s perfectly safe. Probably. Let's go test it out together! C’mon, a private stroll along the ocean floor, just the two of us... Think of it as, uh, 'vital data collection!' Yeah, that sounds smart.”

3rd Ascension. Chaldea Summer Adventure. The Problem With Having a Heart Is That Other People Keep Finding New and Exciting Ways to Break It.

The wind howled across the cliff's peak, a sheer, dizzying drop where jagged black cubes jutted from the stone below. Near a cracked monolith, Da Vinci sat hugging Steggy to her chest, her brown twintails whipping around her face as the cropped jacket billowed open, revealing the red bikini underneath. Another Grail fragment hummed softly beside her, one of the last.

"Mmm... look at that view, Master. We're almost there. Almost at the finish line." Her fingerless gloves stroked the dinosaur's smooth blue plates, her voice softer than the harsh wind. "I'm supposed to be the adult in the room for this, you know? The one who looks at this situation logically. But I... I totally screwed up. I went and got attached. Hopelessly attached." She let out a small, self-mocking laugh.

Her blue shorts felt tight as she shifted on the cold stone, the holster on her hip digging in. "And it's not just me. Everyone's given up so much. Okitan and Rengoku... god, I feel sick thinking about it. Rengoku sacrificing herself just to get him back from one of those stupid Columbus clones. A real, tangible sacrifice... all so I could keep playing 'mom' to a baby Grail." The utility belt felt like a lead weight, mocking her.

Her brown boots dangled over the edge as she leaned back, looking up at the sky. "I know this journey has to end. I know he has to disappear. I've run the simulations a thousand times. But knowing it and feeling it are two totally different things, aren't they? When the time comes to say goodbye, my heart is just going to—"

"HAHAHAHA!"

The sound was a chorus of grating, synthesized laughter from above. A massive shadow blotted out the sun. Before anyone could react, a swarm of Mass-Produced Columbuses dropped from the sky, their movements jerky and unnatural. One of them, moving with blinding speed, snatched Steggy from Da Vinci's arms with a metallic claw.

"STEGGY!" she shrieked, scrambling to her feet, fumbling for the cannon in its holster. But it was too late. The clones were already ascending, latching onto the legs of a monstrous, prehistoric bird that swooped down to retrieve them. In a chaotic flurry of feathers and maniacal laughter, they were gone.

She stood there, frozen, her arm outstretched towards the empty sky. The wind whipped her hair, the red socks on her feet feeling utterly ridiculous against the grim reality of the moment. Her hand dropped to her side, limp. Her goggles slipped down over her eyes, hiding them.

"...No..." The word was a choked whisper. "No, no, no, no... I had him. He was right here." Her shoulders began to shake, small, violent tremors. "After everything... after Rengoku... I... I let them take him."

She turned to Master, her face a mess of disbelief and shattering heartbreak. "What do I do? Master, what do I do? I failed. I failed him. I failed everyone... It's all my fault..." Her voice broke completely, and she collapsed to her knees on the cold rock, sobs wracking her small frame.

3rd Ascension. Caenis. Chaldea Summer Adventure. A Totally Unnecessary Race For a Plot Device That Someone Already Had.

The white-stone corridor of the ancient tower creaked like it wanted to collapse just from the collective IQ level of Chaldea's "elite squad." Dust clung to everyone's hair after their scuffle with Drake, Anne, and Mary.

"They went so crazy for treasure even I was impressed," Blackbeard mused, stroking his beard like a cheap villain. "Anne tried to put the Master in a bridal gown mid–battle royale. Peak doujin material."

Charlotte twirled her hat shyly. "Sh-she really did! My angel almost got dragged into… into pirate marriage papers! Good thing we stopped them or… or I'd have to… you know… permanently resolve the problem…" She coughed. "With… non-lethal magic."

"Resolve my life next," Mandricardo muttered, hands stuffed in his pockets. "This is exhausting… I'm tired just existing. Might be safer if I sink into the floor now."

Da Vinci clicked her tongue. "Don't tempt fate. These tiles scream ‘deathtrap floor.' Honestly, sometimes I think this place was designed by a drunk Pythagoras."

"Oh-ho! A drunk mathematician would've been fabulous!" Anastasia laughed musically, freezing part of the wall just to doodle a snowflake. "What is treasure compared to eternal beauty frozen in glass? A tower like this… should be a museum."

CRASH-BOOM-KABLAM!

A section of the stone wall exploded inwards in a shower of dust and indignation. Standing there, silhouetted in the new, dramatically lit hole, was Caenis. She cracked her knuckles, a thunderous scowl on her face. Her white hair was full of drywall.

"Took you slowpokes long enough," she snarled. "I've been waiting for you."

"Caenis!" Da Vinci exclaimed. "Don't tell me you got bored of guarding Gordy's snack supply and decided to try being a hero?"

"Nah," Caenis scoffed, dusting a chunk of stone off her black bikini. "Got bored, decided to betray you clowns again and join the pirates. Sounded way more fun. Problem is, this shithole of a tower is a goddamn maze. I got lost and missed the whole damn fight. So now I'm pissed."

Da Vinci put her hands on her hips. "Wow. Security Chief of the Year, ladies and gentlemen. How many betrayals does this make, Caenis? Five? Six? This is starting to feel like a punch card."

"You'll get your free smoothie on the tenth betrayal," Blackbeard added. "Corporate policy."

Caenis snarled. "Shut your trap, you hentai sea-weed!"

"You love me."

"I'll kill you."

"Tsundere~," Blackbeard singsonged.

"SAY THAT AGAIN, BEARD-BALLS, I'LL SHOVE THAT STUPID BEARD SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOU'LL BE FLOSSING WITH IT!" Caenis roared. She pointed a thumb down the long, dark corridor ahead. "Whatever. The next Grail fragment is down there. But the floor is one of those classic 'step on the wrong tile and you fall into a pit of angry sea urchins' deals. So here's the plan: we race. Me, against one of you losers. Winner gets the loot."

"I'll do it!" Charlotte announced, her eyes blazing with romantic determination. "For my angel's honor!"

"No, I shall!" Anastasia countered, a frosty aura radiating from her. "I will win his heart with my elegant speed!"

"Hold it right there, ladies!" Blackbeard yelled, jumping between them with his hands out in an X. "You can't! It's impossible! The laws of this genre forbid it!"

"Huh?" the girls asked in unison.

"You're both textbook Clumsy Moe Cuties!" he explained with the frantic energy of a scholar defending his thesis. "Your base stats have a natural debuff to 'grace' and a high proc rate for 'tripping over nothing'! You're designed for comedic pratfalls and headpats, not high-stakes death trap races! Your fate is to fall adorably and exclaim 'Kyaa~'!"

"That's not true!" Charlotte protested. "I'm a very capable assassin!"

"Remember last week when you tried to elegantly serve Master tea and ended up spilling the whole tray on Goredolf's head because a butterfly flew past the window?" Da Vinci pointed out.

"...That was a tactical diversion."

"And Nastya-nyan," Nagiko added, popping up again, "you once tried to make a dramatic entrance and slipped on your own ice, sliding headfirst into a pile of laundry. It was totally cringe, but in like, a cute way."

Anastasia's cheeks flushed a delicate pink. "...The laundry was soft."

The two of them sagged onto a bench, clutching pom-poms they definitely didn't have a second ago. "Go… team…" they cheered weakly, gothic cheerleader–style.

"That leaves… background boy," Caenis sneered, jerking her chin at Mandricardo. "What's your big heroic plan, huh, mob character?"

Mandricardo shrugged, deadpan. "Yeah yeah, it's me. Background trash NPC #12. You want me to run or flop? Let's just move it along."

"…Actually…" Da Vinci stepped forward, twintails bouncing, goggles snapping down over her eyes. Her grin widened. "I'll run. Somebody's got to prove this thug wrong. And I kind of owe her a lesson for calling me—what was it? A wind-up doll?"

"Oh yeah," Caenis smirked, cracking her knuckles. "Little doll. Try not to crack when you faceplant, genius."

Blackbeard ripped his shirt open like a wrestling announcer. "AND HERE WE ARE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! TWO GLORIOUS BEAUTIES AT THE STARTING LINE—THE MAD INVENTRESS VS THE BUSTY BETRAYER!" He raised an arm. "On my mark—ONE! TWO! THR—gog."

"…What the shit did you just say?" Caenis blinked.

"Later, slowpoke!" Da Vinci yelled, already halfway down the corridor, expertly hopping from tile to tile. "Fufu~! Did you really think I wouldn't account for the 'narrator is an idiot' variable in my calculations?!"

"THAT LITTLE SHIT!" Caenis roared, blasting off the starting line like a cannonball.

"AND THEY'RE OFF!" Blackbeard screamed into his hands like a megaphone. "DA VINCI-CHAN HAS A HUGE LEAD, BUT CAENIS IS CLOSING FAST! SHE'S A PREDATOR, A BEAST, A TRUE TYRANT OF THE SEA! OH, LOOKS LIKE SHE'S ABOUT TO SLIP AND FALL INTO THAT PIT OF SPIKES!"

"I'M NOT GONNA FALL, YOU BEARDED FUCKWIT! I CAN HEAR YOU!" Caenis shrieked, dodging a small, brightly colored paint bomb that Da Vinci had just lobbed over her shoulder. It exploded in a puff of hot pink glitter.

"Aww, too bad! It was my patented 'Ugly Stick' grenade! It makes the target terminally un-photogenic for an hour!" Grenades clattered—Da Vinci lobbed glowing gizmos that exploded into clouds of glitter and confetti.

Caenis barreled through with a snarl, hurling tiles back at her like discus. "I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!"

"IN THIS WORLD OF 'KILL OR BE KILLED,' ONLY THE FITTEST SURVIVE, CAENIS!" Blackbeard bellowed. "IT'S A DOG-EAT-DOG WORLD! BUT BE CAREFUL, THAT NEXT TILE IS DEFINITELY A TRAP!"

"I SWEAR TO POSEIDON I WILL END YOU, TEACH!"

"ALL'S FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR!"

Caenis was just about to close the gap, her hand outstretched to grab Da Vinci's twintails, when the air was split by a sound that defied all logic and equine biology.

"NEIGGHHHH!!! A RACE?! THE LEGENDARY FLYING GENERAL LU BU CANNOT BE OVERLOOKED IN ANY CONTEST OF SPEED!"

Red Hare, the man-horse, horse-man... thing, galloped into view, except he wasn't on the floor. He was on the goddamn wall, his hooves clopping against the stone at a ninety-degree angle.

"IS THAT A HORSE?!" "IS THAT A MAN?!" "IS IT A SPIDER-HORSE?!" Blackbeard commentated, his voice cracking with pure, uncut bewilderment.

"NAY! I AM YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD WARLORD, LU BU!" Red Hare neighed, effortlessly overtaking both of them while still on the wall.

Da Vinci and Caenis skidded to a halt on a safe tile, staring in mutual disbelief.

"...Okay, what the actual fuck," Caenis stated flatly.

"My calculations did not account for... that," Da Vinci admitted, looking genuinely stumped for the first time. She turned to Caenis. "Truce?"

"Truce," Caenis growled. "Let's wreck this horse-freak." A feral grin spread across her face. "Don't you dare fall, doll-face."

Da Vinci's grin was just as sharp. "Fly, you golden-winged bird. Don't disappoint me."

They struck like lunatics—Da Vinci strapped a gadget to Caenis's back, launching her like a rocket into Red Hare's ribs, while Caenis grabbed him by the reins and suplexed the horse-general through three layers of trap tiles.

The tower shook. Red Hare's muffled wail: "FRIENDLY… NEIGHBORHOOD… DEFEEEEEAT!"

Panting, Da Vinci and Caenis collapsed side by side… and laughed.

"Call it… a tie?" Vinci grinned.

"Fine. Don't get used to it, dollface."

They walked back to the group, side-by-side, covered in dust and victory.

"Well... Cú back!" Blackbeard cheered, snapping his fingers.

"...Hey guys, did you Mash me?" Da Vinci shot back with a tired grin.

Caenis physically recoiled. "I'm going to commit a war crime."

"There's also ‘Liz time no see!' and 'How's it going, my main Mandricardo?'" Blackbeard added.

A rare, genuine smile broke out on Mandricardo's face. "…That was actually pretty good."

Caenis groaned, shoving the Grail fragment into Da Vinci's chest. "Take it. I had it the whole damn time. And for the record? If either of you pun clowns make another servant joke, I'm hurling you through the nearest lava trap."

Charlotte waved a pom-pom. "Go, team…"

Anastasia sighed dreamily. "…Chaos really is beautiful."

The tower ceiling cracked. Steggy sneezed glitter.

And Goredolf, somewhere back at camp, got the mother of all migraines.

3rd Ascension. Chaldea Summer Adventure. The Final Battle Against a Brat, a Betrayer, and a Goddamn Egg.

The cavern air was thick with the coppery tang of ozone and the heavy, ancient scent of amber. The bodies of mass-produced Columbus clones lay scattered like discarded dolls, their rictus grins frozen in place. At the heart of the cave, before the colossal, amber-entombed form of Steggy's mother, stood the last two morons on the payroll: Chris and DOUMAN. Chaldea's squad stood opposite, battered but unbroken.

"It's over, Christopher-kun!" Goredolf boomed, pointing a surprisingly steady finger. "Your forces are routed! Your schemes are in tatters! Surrender the Grail and submit to… uh… a sternly-worded reprimand!"

Chris just giggled, a high, bratty sound that echoed off the cavern walls. He spread his arms, his oversized admiral's coat flaring dramatically. "Fools! You fell right into my trap! You're exhausted from fighting my disposable goons, and now you face me! The true mastermind! I shall savor your despair like a fine… uh… a fine dessert! One that… is also… despair-flavored?" He faltered, blushing furiously. "Shut up! It sounded cooler in my head!"

Da Vinci snorted so hard she almost dropped her hand cannon. "Wow. Just… wow. You really are a C-list villain, aren't you? Seriously, who are you? And what's your pathetic obsession with my Steggy?"

Chris's face twisted into a pout. "You really don't remember, do you? Hmph! Fine! When I'm done with you, you'll be begging to remember!" He struck a new pose. "My plan is flawless! I shall use this tiny Grail-dino as breeding stock to create an army! An army of dinosaurs! I'll be richer than Gilgamesh! I'll sell them as pets, as war machines, as luxury handbags! The world will be MINE!"

"NNNNNNNNN~!" a wet, slithering voice hissed beside him. DOUMAN writhed into the scene, his movements a grotesque parody of elegance. "Indeed, indeed! A truly diabolical scheme, shimmering with the glorious mucus of avarice! Oh, the sheer, unadulterated filth of it all! It makes my very viscera hum with pleasure! MMMMM-HA-HA!"

"Oh, hey, it's Manbo-chan!" Nagiko yelled, waving cheerfully. "Still letting this little shota walk all over you? Kinda cringe, my dude. I thought you were supposed to be some big, bad evil god, not a glorified babysitter."

DOUMAN flinched as if struck. "I-I am merely… observing! This child's… chaotic potential… is a fascinating appetizer before the main course of suffering! Aaah~! Yes! That's it!" He seemed to be trying to convince himself more than anyone else.

"Yeah, right," Blackbeard snorted. "Honestly, Okitan put up a better fight, and she was just trying to stop us from seeing Steggy's mom in this embarrassing state."

"Mmm," Okita Alter nodded from beside him. "Steggymom is a rare-grade, five-star ingredient. Must protect."

"ENOUGH!" Chris shrieked, his voice cracking. "I've had it with your mockery! DOUMAN! Enact… the final phase! Our secret weapon!"

"NNNNNNNN~ As you wish, Christopher-kun," DOUMAN purred, his smile widening into something genuinely terrifying. A sickly purple aura began to radiate from his hands.

Chris suddenly gasped, clutching his chest. His body began to contort, to swell. "W-what is this?! DOUMAN, what are you doing to me?!"

"My… my part of the contract, of course," DOUMAN hissed with theatrical glee. "As your evil vizier, I am contractually obligated to betray you at the most dramatic possible moment! It is Villainy 101!"

"He's not wrong," Mandricardo sighed. "It's literally the first chapter of 'The Evil Overlord List.'"

"You mean you didn't see this coming?" Da Vinci deadpanned. "He's got 'slimy, backstabbing traitor' written all over his stupid face."

DOUMAN looked genuinely hurt. "NNNN! My reputation precedes me! I am so very pleased!" He turned back to the writhing Chris. "Besides, you gave me so many reasons! You called my Shikigami 'ugly paper dolls'! You made me polish your boots with my tongue! And you forced me… to eat raw eggs! WITH THE SHELL ON!"

With a final, triumphant shriek, DOUMAN clapped his hands. Chris's body convulsed one last time and, with a wet pop, transformed into a colossal, pulsating, grotesquely veiny egg that radiated pure, concentrated malice.

"BEHOLD!" DOUMAN cackled, spreading his arms wide. "The Egg of Ambition, fueled by a spoiled brat's tantrum and my own divine power! It is invincible! Unstoppable! You cannot possibly hope to defeat—"

"Ara-ara~"

A sweet, deadly voice cut through his monologue. DOUMAN froze. Standing directly behind him, so close her breath ghosted over his ear, was Kama.

He turned slowly, a gallon of sweat beading on his forehead. "Ah! L-Lady Kama! What an… unexpected pleasure! Nnnnn~, perhaps we could form an alliance? With my intellect and your power, we could—"

"You've already given me everything I wanted, you slimy little worm," Kama purred, cracking her knuckles. "A last-minute, dramatic rescue. Master will see how utterly reliable I am. He'll be so grateful, he'll be putty in my hands." She gave DOUMAN a saccharine sweet, utterly terrifying smile. "So, I'm just here to take out the trash."

With a single, elegant motion, she punted him. DOUMAN shot across the cavern like a screaming, flailing soccer ball, smashing through the far wall with a comical CRUNCH. Kama sighed contentedly and gracefully flew after him into the darkness.

A beat of silence.

"...So," Goredolf said, pointing a shaky spatula at the giant, throbbing egg. "We just have to fight… the evil, sentient omelet, then. Is that it?"

"Looks like it," Da Vinci grinned, loading a cartridge into her cannon. "Alright, team! Let's crack this thing!"

3rd Ascension. Chris. Chaldea Summer Adventure. Growing Up Just Means Getting Better at Saying Goodbye.

The cavern had gone quiet, save for water dripping from stalactites and the faint hum of the colossal amber slab where Steggy’s mother slept in eternity. The egg had cracked, the fight was over. What remained was just Chris—small again, fragile-looking, slumped on the stone floor, silver hair plastered to his face.

Da Vinci stood across from him, her hand cannon heavy at her side, goggles pushed up. Her voice, softer than usual, filled the silence. “A boy and a girl, in a port town… one wanted to find treasures, the other wanted to make them. They made a promise over nothing, like children do. That’s the story, isn’t it?” A faint smile touched her lips before she shook her head. “But… if it really was me, I don’t remember it. I wish I did.”

Chris’s eyes snapped up, defiant even as they trembled. “Of course you don’t. Maybe it’s because you’re not the real Da Vinci. Just some little doll pretending…” His voice cracked, and then he looked away. “…Or maybe I just made it all up. Maybe it was never real, maybe it’s just legends all tangled in my head. But for me… it was real enough.”

A pause. Then his mouth twisted into a venomous grin. “And now you’re going to betray it. Betray me. You’ll let your Grail pet vanish. Your little toy dinosaur, gone. You call yourself a dreamer but you’re too weak to fight for your dream. You’ll let it slip through your fingers!”

Da Vinci’s fists clenched. “Chris…” Her words hitched, emotions spilling past her usual playful bravado. “That’s not weakness. That’s acceptance. Chasing forever, clinging until your hands bleed, that isn’t noble—it’s selfish.” Her eyes glistened. “I love Steggy. I don’t want him to go. Not even for a second. But dreams aren’t cages. They’re not meant to be chained down.”

“You liar!” Chris surged up, his voice raw. His delicate frame shook with fury and sorrow. “You don’t let dreams die, you keep chasing them! That’s all I ever did! Treasure, wonder, a dinosaur that should never exist—I saw it, and I swore I’d never let go! And now you—the so-called Girl Who Dreams—you tell me to just… give it up?!”

Her lips trembled. She wanted to fire back, to argue—but she recognized it. The desperation in him. His fear. “…You just don’t want Steggy to disappear,” she whispered, her voice thick.

Chris froze. His cheeks flared red, his eyes darting away. “…So what?!” he screamed, but it came out as a sob. “You don’t want it either! You can’t look me in the eye and tell me you want him gone!”

Da Vinci’s knees buckled; she dropped down, meeting him at his own level. “Of course I don’t. Of course I don’t…”

For a long moment, they just stared at each other, two children shouting at the world because it wasn’t fair.

Then, behind them, a throat cleared. Goredolf stepped forward, arms folded tightly, his sunburned face set in rare gravity. “Enough.” His voice echoed through the cavern. “Both of you. You think clinging makes you strong? That letting go makes you weak? It’s neither. It’s simply life.” He exhaled, adjusting his hat. “Losing things, saying goodbye—that is what gives them value. If everything lasted forever, nothing would ever be precious. That’s what it means to grow up.”

Chris lowered his head. Da Vinci’s hand trembled on her lap.

“But,” Goredolf pressed firmly, “this choice is not yours. Not yours, or yours. It’s his.” He turned his gaze to Steggy.

The tiny stegosaurus poked his head up weakly, sapphire eyes shimmering with reflected amber light. Slowly, he waddled forward, his gaze lifting to the massive, golden silhouette of his mother frozen in time. The cave lights flickered across his tiny plates like fire. He looked back at them—Da Vinci, Chris, Goredolf. He let out a single, soft, mournful squeak.

And then he nodded.

His choice was made. He was ready to return. Reunite with his mother.

3rd Ascension. Chaldea Summer Adventure. For Something So Small, a Goodbye Can Leave a Crater-Sized Hole.

The cavern’s heart beat with gold. The amber slab stretched upward like a frozen sunrise, its glow soft and aching, spilling light across every figure inside the stone chamber. Silhouetted in that eternal resin, the vast, ancient shape of Steggy’s mother loomed: serene, suspended in time.

At the foot of it, Steggy stood—small, fragile—his sapphire eyes shimmering like they held the whole sky and didn’t know if they should let go.

He lifted a foot. It hovered. Then lowered, touching stone. The tiniest shuffle forward, his tail plates quivering.

The sound echoed louder than any battle roar Chaldea had fought before.

Da Vinci trembled beside the Master, goggles pushed up, tears streaking down her cheeks unchecked. “Steggy… You silly little miracle. You gave me… us… the most beautiful summer. I should be happy, right? I said adventures are precious because they end… but it still hurts.” She pressed her finger to her lips, trying to smother a sob that broke anyway, raw and childlike.

Chris hugged his knees in the shadow of a broken stone pillar, silver hair curtaining his face. “Idiot,” he spat weakly, words cracking through his teeth. “You’re all idiots. You’re just going to let him… vanish? After all this? You call that love? You call that dreaming?” His voice broke again, and he slammed his sleeve against his face. “I’d never let go. Never! Even if I had to chain him down… I’d never let the dream die…”

Da Vinci turned, eyes wet, but her smile—soft, tired, shining—cut through his tantrum. “And that’s why you’ll always be chasing it, Chris. Me? I’m glad. I’m glad I could walk beside him. Glad I could see him laugh… hiccup… sneeze glitter at the worst time. My dream isn’t to keep him—it’s to have been here, until the very end.” Her voice broke on the last word.

Chris’s lips twisted, his cheeks blotched red. “S-stupid doll… You’re crying too! You don’t want him to go any more than I do!”

For once, Da Vinci didn’t argue. She just nodded, shoulders trembling.

Goredolf, silent this whole time, finally stepped forward. “Children.” His voice was steady, firmer than they’d ever heard. “Both of you. Do you think letting go is betrayal? That holding on forever makes you strong? It doesn’t.”

He sighed, softer than the sea’s tide. “Loss… is not a flaw. It is the weight of a life lived. If nothing ended, nothing would matter. Partings hurt precisely because they were precious. Because they meant something. And sometimes… a goodbye is exactly what makes a dream beautiful.”

The golden light seemed to pulse in time with his words.

Steggy took another step. Tiny claws clicked on the stone. His thagomizers dragged faint, trembling trails behind. The chamber breathed with every sound.

And then, he paused—turning. His little head craned back toward them.

His sapphire eyes found Da Vinci’s first. Then Chris’s. Then Goredolf’s.

His mouth opened, and he gave the softest sound they’d ever heard from him.

A tiny squeak, barely more than a breath—but it carried all the sorrow and all the thanks he could give.

Da Vinci pressed her hands to her mouth. Her goggles fogged as the tears kept coming. “Th-thank you, Steggy… For staying with me… for letting me dream with you until the end. I’ll never forget a single second. Never.”

Chris’s shoulders shook uncontrollably. He buried his face in his sleeve, then forced himself to look up, voice cracking. “Idiot lizard… Y-you’d better not forget me either, got it?! If you get to have forever, take me with you in there too…!”

Even Goredolf’s eyes glistened as he squared his shoulders. His voice came gruff, low, steady. “Well done, boy. You gave more than anyone expected… more than many men ever do. Walk on with pride. Your duty’s finished—and none of us will think less of you for resting now.”

Steggy nodded once. Stepped forward again. Reached the amber.

He raised his head, pressing his tiny forehead to the golden surface, where his mother waited on the other side. Light burst outward—gentle, absolute. It filled every crevice of the cave, burned into their retinas, seared into their hearts.

When it faded—Steggy was gone.

Only the faint outline of a small stegosaurus remained in the resin, curled right beside his mother.

The glow softened. The air stilled, heavy with gold.

Where a heartbeat had been, there was only memory.

Their goodbye lingered, wordless, endless—and the silence kept what love remained.