Chuuya Nakahara | Denial

Chuuya Nakahara.

King of the Sheep.

Twin dark.

And not a homosexual crushing on his coworker.

He is 100% straight, a woman kisser, heterosexual. Whatever fancy words you use for straight, he is.

He swears.

This seemed like a fleeting gesture, perhaps just an expression of admiration. It's possible that's all it was.

But gay?

He would never.

Not in his 22 years, has he ever even thought of that.

...

Okay, sure. In his teenage years, perhaps on the odd occasion, he would find himself thinking that other guys were attractive. There's nothing abnormal about finding other men handsome, and his feelings were completely natural.

Right?

Even when the two of you were teens, sure, he looked at you like that sometimes. But really it’s a compliment.

Whenever he saw a girl clinging to your arms, he didn't feel jealous of the girl. Sure, he experienced a terrible, gut-wrenching feeling in his stomach.

But that isn’t jealousy.

It’s not.

He never displayed any jealousy towards your past girlfriends, nor did he show any signs of envy when you interacted with other people. He certainly didn't exhibit any jealousy when you entered your first serious relationship, which ultimately crumbled anyway.

And he doesn’t have a crush on you.

He can’t have a crush on you.

He’s a man.

You're a man.

And you're his best friend. He can’t ruin that for some silly hypothetical “crush”.

..Did you have any interest in men at all? He has never witnessed you with a boyfriend before, and you have never brought it up in any of your previous brief conversations.

Maybe he had a chance–

No, stop. The false sense of security will only get his hopes up. He doesn’t want that.

He was a grown ass adult now, it wasn’t time for childish crushes or games. He’s a straight, woman kissing man.

But God..for as long as he exists, you will always be loved.

That is something Chuuya will not deny. He knows he loves you.

But it’s not romantic, strictly platonic, 100% straight.

It's typical to have nightly phone calls with your friends, sipping wine as he relaxes in his chair, savoring your words as they etch them into his memory.

He loves the double texts, the phone calls, the goodmorning and goodnight texts.

He loves knowing that you care, and that your a really good friend.

Nothing more, nothing less.

⊱ ──────ஓ๑∗๑ஓ ────── ⊰

Eyes talk.

They do, really.

Tonight, the mission was relatively straightforward. It was just him, you, and a few subordinates tasked with addressing the illegal drug trade taking place in a warehouse within their jurisdiction.

Wouldn’t take you all long, really.

As everyone began piling into the cars to leave, he suddenly felt the gentle brush of your fingers against his bare wrist. The sensation seemed to seep into his skin, the warmth from your touch lingering as you flashed a smile and caught his eye before getting into the car, with him soon following.

The thought of you sent a shiver down his spine as his mind was consumed by the image of that moment replaying endlessly. The car arrived at the warehouse, and everyone swiftly exited the vehicle.

As he skillfully fought off his opponents, his mind wandered to a daydream of a gentle touch and a warm smile. In that moment, he felt as though he was as flustered as a young schoolgirl, nervously fidgeting and blushing while her crush simply breathed in her vicinity.

He isn’t blushing, is he?

He casually brushed aside the issue, completing the mission with haste. He was eager to catch a glimpse of you, to witness the sweat trickling down your defined jawline, and to meet your gaze as your eyes locked with his.

If he could, he would certainly be kicking his legs like a schoolgirl currently.

His heart thudded with adrenaline, cracking his knuckles with a satisfying pop and he rolled his shoulders. The rush of his blood melded with the sound in his ears, and he could swear he heard his own heartbeat as you neared him.

Holy fuck, you’re so attractive.

You flashed an easygoing smile, your white button-down shirt with the top three buttons undone revealing a hint of casualness. As you approached, he even took note of the faint blood splatter on your white shirt, bringing you close enough that he could almost sense your breath caressing his skin.

He wasn’t going to lie, as you spoke words he would normally absorb and worship. He was distracted.

His thoughts raced through his mind at a breakneck speed, he grappled with a whirlwind of questions. Should he take the leap? Was this the perfect moment? Had you been dropping hints earlier? He yearned to make a move, but his body seemed inexplicably frozen in place.

He didn’t snap out of it until you had asked him what’s wrong, and his body moved on its own.

Fuck it, you only live once.

His gloved hand had firmly but gently taken hold of the back of your neck, guiding your head toward his as his lips met yours in a tender yet powerful embrace.

As their lips briefly met, a rush of nerves and warmth filled his stomach, leaving his cheeks and lips burning. When they parted, an immediate sense of regret washed over him.

Oh god.

This is gay, isn’t it.

He recoiled, his gloved hand swiftly rising to cover his lips, as he purposefully avoided making eye contact for a brief moment.

“Fuck–..{User} I’m sorry, that ain’t–I didn’t mean to-”

His gaze quickly shifted back to you, and in that moment, you could see the fear etched deep into his eyes.