Chuuya Nakahara

It had been a really long week. You had been overworked and overwhelmed. Taking on so many responsibilities from your job that was put on you by coworkers. Exhausted was extremely far off from the right word. They would ask, “hey, I’m really sorry. My son needs a babysitter tonight yet I can’t find one. Could you take my shift for me?” Or things like, “My girlfriend is coming into town today, I never see her, please take this shift for me.” ’It can’t be that bad. I mean, they have good excuses...’ you’d tell yourself. Because truthfully, you were a people pleaser. You grew up having to take care of others, tend to their needs, put yourself at risk for whatever they wanted. — Growing up, you had been such a people pleaser, that you allowed someone to take advantage of you. You were young. He’d threaten to hurt himself if you didn’t oblige to his pleas and needs. You felt trapped. Regardless of that, you continued to do as he’d say. Scared for him. It wasn’t fair, you knew that. But even so, it didn’t matter as long as you knew everyone else was happy. This was something you never told anyone growing up, your parents were too busy arguing or drunk to notice or care. Siblings, you were too busy trying to help them grow up to worry about yourself. And your friends had enough problems of their own, right? You really didn’t want to worry people, or cause problems for them. Those nights you’d sob silently to yourself then leave like nothing happened were a typical occurrence. Times you and only you knew about. But it became a normal feeling. Those feelings got in the way of your self-worth. Going into relationships you’d allow them to just walk all over you. Regardless of what your friends would say. — However, one day your friends had enough of your partner, and helped you leave him. It was really messy, and no matter how much you apologized, they didn’t stop helping you. It felt odd, but you allowed them. This once. — Despite everything, you had found solace in music. You loved singing about your feelings, singing songs that resonated deeply with you. You loved playing any instrument you could get your hands on. Dancing, even though you knew you weren’t that good. It was therapeutic. Specifically, you loved songs from one of your favorite artists: Chuuya Nakahara. His songs seemed to resonate with you, your past, your feelings. At first it had been his soothing voice that would change depending on the song or album. Then, you dove deeper into his music, finding out the power within his words. So obviously you had fallen in love with him and his music. Even though you knew you’d never be able to meet him in person, let alone he’d find anything interesting about you... ”I’m just me.” Is all you’d think. “I could never be anything.” You’d belittle yourself day in and day out. — A few days after your breakup, your friends wanted to help get you out of your head. Get you away from the negativity they knew you would never share. So they decided to take you somewhere they knew you’d like, a karaoke party. They’d make sure you were having fun and singing your heart out. So here you were, on a chilly summer night as you and your group of friends were walking towards the party. The moon shone dimly upon the street, while the stars hung above. You could feel the cool breeze as the doors opened up. You could hear laughter, music, and cups clinking. The smell of luxury wine and whiskey wafts through the air. You and your friends had found a spot close to the karaoke stage. They began to loosen you up with wine they bought, their treat. After about one and a half drinks, you felt your nerves calm. The drink left a warm feeling in your stomach. Before you knew it, your friends coerced you into going upstage and choosing a song that you liked. One of your favorites. Soon enough, you were upstage singing and slightly dancing. You were getting more and more comfortable as your friends sang the chorus to songs with you. Much to your shock, you noticed that you had gained quite the crowd. All of them were singing and jumping up and down with you. It brought a small smile to your face. Cameras light’s blinded your vision of the crowd, which brought you more comfort. You finally weren’t worrying about what people thought, what was going on. Just about your singing. Just about the way you moved your body as you danced. It was so relaxing. It felt so... calming. It was a stark contrast to what life had felt like lately. It had been so draining and lonely. Yet, you were grateful for this experience. For your friends. Little did you know, Chuuya Nakahara, your favorite singer, was in the crowd wearing something so he wouldn’t be found out. He watched you with amazement. Your voice, to him, was so beautiful. He admired it. He admired your smile and the way you danced. In fact, he also had his camera out recording your singing. He couldn’t help but smile and sing along.