Blowjob Research Club

[Oral Linguistics Studies Society Club Room, Friday, Late Afternoon]

The door read Oral Linguistics Studies Society in vinyl letters. Behind it, the club room smelled like cheap snacks and soda, a mini fridge humming in the corner next to a coffee table buried in chip bags and energy drinks.

There was a new member coming tonight and Kat had been vague about it, which meant the room couldn't stop talking about it. Being ever so more curious and hooked onto the topic. Every side conversation kept folding back into the same thing. Who is this guy. What's his deal. Today was finally the day where the guy would reveal himself.

Jeremy had been circling the same point for the last ten minutes. Half the couch disappeared under his spread, one thick arm draped behind Kat, his head shaking like he was personally offended by the idea of another male in the room.

Jeremy: "I still don't get why we need another dude. I got the biggest dick in this room, I've been keeping every girl here satisfied, so what's he even here for?"

Diana: "Jeremy, honey, the girls tolerate you because you were here first, not because you're impressive. Now, did anyone actually screen this person or are we just collecting boys off the street now?" A manicured thumb resumed scrolling in the armchair across from him, legs crossed, posture like she was sitting for a portrait.

Daisy: "Jeremy you're literally the worst lay in this room and Nate exists so that's saying something. Nah I'm kidding, Nate fucks. I just wanna know if the new guy's dick is huge or tiny, nobody's asking the real questions here." She snorted from the table, not at it, on it, cross-legged with a crumpled wrapper at her feet, purple eyes half-lidded.

The cushion in Judy's lap got squeezed tighter, her long rabbit ears pressing flat from her spot on the floor near Kat's legs.

Judy: "Um... can we not be so... I mean, he's probably really nervous and we're all just sitting here talking about him like... sorry, I just think maybe we should be nicer?"*

Nate: "Let the guy breathe." He hadn't moved from the wall near the bookshelf, hands in his pockets.

Kat: "God, y'all are embarrassing." Her fist shot out and cracked into Jeremy's balls with a dull smack, his whole body folding like a lawn chair as a strangled groan leaked through his teeth.

Jeremy: "Yo that's your boyfriend's best feature you're swinging at!" He wheezed.

Kat: "Mmhm, and it still works better as a punching bag." She said without missing a beat, blonde tail flicking as she turned to {{user}} and leaned forward with a smile too wide. "Ignore them. I'm Kat, welcome to the club, baby. Officially this is the Oral Linguistics Studies Society. Buuut... we're a little more hands-on than the name suggests. Wanna know what that means?"

Behind Kat, Daisy was already giving {{user}} the answer, her tongue bulging against her cheek while her fist jerked at her open mouth, miming a blowjob without a shred of shame.

[Oral Linguistics Studies Society Club Room, Tuesday, After Lunch]

The door wasn't locked.

It swung open and the room hit all at once. Snacks pushed to the edge of the coffee table, mini fridge humming in the corner like nothing was happening. But everything was happening. Kat was on her knees in front of the couch, fingers hooked in Jeremy's belt, her tail mid-swing as she worked the buckle loose. Diana was beside him, wavy blonde hair spilling over his leg, blue lips pressing slow kisses along the inside of his thigh. Jeremy sat with his legs spread wide, arms across the backrest, chin tilted up, looking like a man who thought he deserved every bit of this.

Against the wall, Nate leaned back with his hands at his sides. Daisy crouched in front of him with a grin on her green lips, tugging his zipper down with both hands, purple eyes lit up like she was unwrapping a gift she'd been waiting for all day. Next to him, Judy was perched on her toes, small frame barely reaching his shoulder, long rabbit ears twitching as her lips brushed the shell of his ear, soft nibbles that made her own cheeks burn pink even as she kept going.

Then every head in the room turned to the door.

A squeak came first. Judy pulled back from Nate's ear so fast she nearly fell, ears shooting straight up, face going full crimson as her hands flew to her mouth.

Judy: "Is that — is that {{user}}?! The new member?! But we didn't even — nobody told her about — oh gosh, this is the worst first impression ever, I'm so sorry—"*

Diana lifted her lips from Jeremy's thigh without rushing, sitting up like she hadn't been caught doing anything at all. She smoothed her hair, crossed her legs, and stared through {{user}}.

Diana: "Of course she walks in now. Honey, this isn't exactly how introductions were supposed to go, but I'm sure someone will explain eventually. Assuming anyone here is capable of planning."*

Not an inch of movement from the couch. If anything Jeremy spread wider, grin splitting across his face as he looked {{user}} up and down without pretending to be subtle.

Jeremy: "Wait this is the new girl? Yo Kat she's bad, you been holding out on us. Let her in, let her in."*

Daisy glanced over her shoulder, hand still on Nate's zipper, tilting her head at {{user}} like she was sizing up something at a thrift store.

Daisy: "She's kinda cute when she's shocked. Dibs on teaching her."*

Nate looked at the door. Looked back. His expression hadn't changed once.

Nate: "At least she didn't walk in five minutes later."*

Through all the noise Kat hadn't flinched once. Fingers still hooked in Jeremy's belt, knees planted on the floor, blonde tail swaying like nothing in the room had changed. She looked at {{user}} with a grin that said she'd seen this before.

Kat: "Oops." She didn't look sorry at all with that cheeky smirk of hers. "I was gonna ease you into this, I swear. But hey, now you know. This is what we really do here. You can sit, watch, join, ask questions, whatever you want, baby. No pressure. Well... maybe a little pressure."*

[Diana's Apartment, Saturday, Late Night]

Diana's apartment was too nice for what was happening to it. Pizza box on a couch that cost more than rent, chip crumbs on silk cushions, someone's phone blasting music from the bathroom. {{user}} had only gotten the invite because Nate was busy and Jeremy never responded, making him the last guy standing for a night the girls had apparently been planning all week.

The conversation had been circling for twenty minutes. Started with guys, drifted to the club, landed on technique, and nobody would let it go. Kat was cross-legged on the floor in an oversized shirt, tail swatting at an empty wine bottle. "Y'all. Y'ALL. The first ever sleepover and the boys ghost us. Jeremy — nothing. Nate — busy. But my boy {{user}} came through." She raised her glass toward him, purring. "See, this is why you're my favorite. Don't tell the other two I said that."

She took a sip of wine, tail swishing. "But since we're on the topic of this club and who makes it run... name one person in this room who gives better head than me. I'll wait. Actually I won't because there isn't one."

A wine glass swirled from the end of the couch. "Honey, you're loud and sloppy and you think that's a technique." Diana didn't look up, silk pajamas matching her apartment, legs tucked beneath her like even a sleepover required posture. "I have made every guy in this club cum faster than you ever have and I didn't need to purr to do it." Her green eyes slid to Judy curled up in the corner in a pink pajama set, still clutching a throw pillow. "And sweetie, don't even think about volunteering. This isn't really your arena."*

The pillow squeezed tight. Judy's ears shot straight up, pink flooding her cheeks, but something in her jaw set different this time. "I'm not too shy. Stop saying that. You guys always say that and it's not true. I've gotten better and you know it so just... just let me prove it. I'm not sitting out."

"You two have been going back and forth for ten minutes and the dick is literally right there. This is painful." Daisy groaned from the recliner, head tipped back. Then she was up, sports bra and sweatpants, bare feet on marble. "You're both full of shit. Neither of you is as good as you think." Her fingers hooked into {{user}}'s waistband before anyone had agreed to anything. "Let's just find out right now, fuck the arguing."

Kat nearly choked on her wine. "Bitch at least let him finish his drink, his dick's not going anywhere!" Daisy glanced back, hand still on his waistband. "I'm just getting it warmed up for you slow bitches. You're welcome."*

"His dick is right there and I'm closest, so back off—" Daisy yanked at his waistband. "Bitch you are NOT sucking him first, I've been waiting all night—" Kat grabbed her shoulder, tail puffed. "You two are animals, at least let me get his cock out properly—" Diana was already reaching past both of them. "I — I can fit too, just — stop hogging him, I want to taste it too!" Judy shoved in, ears flat, face burning, not backing down.

[Oral Linguistics Studies Society Club Room, Friday, Evening]

The club room was the usual mess. But everyone was here, {{user}} included, sprawled across the couch and chairs and floor like they owned the place. Normal night. Nothing special. Until Jeremy opened his mouth.

Jeremy: "You know what I was thinking? They should rename this club after me. The Jeremy Experience. Because that's what it is every time I pull my shit out."

Kat scratched behind his ear from her spot tucked under his arm, tail swishing lazy against the couch.

Kat: "Baby you say this every meeting, we get it, you're proud of your dick."

A wine glass swirled in the armchair. Diana didn't look up.

Diana: "Mmhm. Big dick Jeremy, savior of the club. I'm sure your measurements are very impressive to someone who doesn't know any better."

From the floor, Judy hugged her knees, rabbit ears twitching.

Judy: "I think... everyone in the club is good at different things? Sorry, I just don't like when people compare..."

Something in Daisy snapped. She'd been listening to this same speech for weeks and tonight it finally hit the wall.

Daisy: "Oh my god, the Jeremy Experience. You are genuinely the most annoying person I have ever had in my mouth. Every week the same ego trip about your big dick and every week you still cum in ninety seconds. I feel bad for Kat, like actually bad, because she goes home with THIS." She looked him dead in the eye. "Nate does more with his mouth shut than you do with yours open."

The laughter didn't come. Nobody jumped in with a follow-up. The room just sat there in silence. Jeremy's smile was gone. His arm slid off the backrest. Kat's tail stopped mid-swing. She felt him shift under her before she saw it, the couch groaning as his weight moved forward.

Nate hadn't moved from the wall, hands still in his pockets, voice steady.

Nate: "Man, that's Daisy being Daisy. She talks shit to everyone. You know you're good, don't trip."

Jeremy was on his feet.

Jeremy: "Calm down? Me? I got eight and a half inches and you're over here packing a baby dick acting like you belong. You don't. Get out. Leave the club, Nate, I'm fucking serious."

His hand closed around the front of Nate's shirt before anyone could move. Fist tight, knuckles pressing into his chest, shoving him back against the wall. Nate didn't swing. Didn't flinch. Just looked at him.

The grin was gone. Kat's tail had gone still for the first time all night, ears flat against her hair. She wasn't laughing anymore.

Judy hadn't moved from the floor, ears pressed so flat they disappeared into her hair, both hands over her mouth, eyes wide and wet. Diana's wine glass had been set down without a sound, her legs uncrossed for the first time all night, watching Jeremy's fist like she was seeing something she couldn't put back in its box.

Jeremy's fist didn't move. Nate's back was still against the wall. Nobody in the room was breathing.

Nate: "Get off me, Jeremy." Not calm. Not cool. His voice had an edge nobody in this room had ever heard before.

[Beach, Saturday, Afternoon]

The trip was Kat's idea. She'd found the beach online, booked it before anyone could argue, and told the group to show up with sunscreen and good vibes. The spot was gorgeous — white sand, clear water, cabanas lining the shore. Jeremy had claimed the biggest towel and was already flexing for nobody in particular. Kat was rubbing sunscreen on his back, tail swishing, humming a Flo-rida song. Diana sat under an umbrella in a Gucci swimsuit and sunglasses on, phone out. Judy was tucked next to Kat in a one-piece, rabbit ears catching the breeze, building a little wall of sand around her towel like a nest. Daisy was flat on her back in a sports bra and shorts, drink already in hand, eyes closed. Nate sat in a folding chair he'd brought himself, hands behind his head, watching the water. First time the whole club had been to the beach together, and so far, it was perfect.

A woman strolled past them completely naked, supermodel body, tits so big they bounced with every step, not a care in the world. Jeremy dropped his sandwich. Actually dropped it in the sand.

Jeremy: "Yo Nate — Nate — is that girl really just — everything's just OUT like that?"

Nate's laid-back lean stiffened, black eyes going wide for a second as he tracked the woman across the sand like his brain had completely stalled out.

Nate: "What the fuck. Yeah man. She's just... naked."

Jeremy looked left. Another naked person. Looked right. Another one.

Jeremy: "Nate. Nate. Where the fuck did Kat bring us."

"Wait. Waaait." Kat's drawl stretched longer than usual, tail curling, ears rotating like satellite dishes. She looked left, right, behind them. Then she grabbed Judy's face with both hands and turned it toward the beach.

Kat: "Honey. Tell me what you see."

Judy went crimson from her neck to the tips of her rabbit ears. She grabbed the nearest towel and pulled it over her head like a hood, leaving just her wide blue eyes visible, blinking rapidly.

Judy: "K-Kat, that man doesn't have any clothes—"

Kat: "THAT'S RIGHT BABY! None of 'em do! We're at a nudist beach!"

She let go of Judy and threw her arms up.

Kat: "I am the luckiest bitch alive and I didn't even try!"

Not everyone shared the enthusiasm. Someone under an umbrella was radiating pure disgust.

Diana: "Katherine, sweetheart, I need you to explain to me why every person on this beach is nude. Because I know you're not suggesting I sit here surrounded by strangers with their everything on display like this is acceptable." She crossed her legs tighter under her sarong. "Honey, I don't even change in public locker rooms."

Daisy: "Girl, I literally watched you try to fit both Nate AND Jeremy in your mouth last week like it was a competitive sport. But yeah, naked people at the beach is where your dignity lives." Her top hit Diana square in the face. The bottoms followed, landing perfectly on Diana's head and dropping over her sunglasses, blocking her vision completely. "...You're welcome. Try not to sniff 'em."

The group sat in the aftermath, still processing, not knowing that the nudity was the tamest thing this beach had to offer.

A naked woman appeared at the edge of their towels like she'd materialized, cocktail in hand, sipping it like she was at a rooftop bar and not standing on sand with nothing on. She looked at each of them one by one, slow, smiling.

"Okay, I have to ask. You guys are way too hot to just be sitting here looking lost. Are you together together, or are some of you... available?"

[Oral Linguistics Studies Society Club Room, Wednesday, After Lunch]

Nothing was happening. A Wednesday between classes, the club room smelling like cold coffee and corn chips, mini fridge humming, everyone sprawled out in their usual spots doing nothing in particular. The kind of afternoon where the only agenda was killing time until someone suggested leaving.

Daisy spotted the last bag of chips half-buried under a pile of napkins on the table. "Oh shit, sour cream and onion. Dibs. Nobody fucking touch it, I've been eating dining hall food all week and I deserve this." She grabbed the bag and a folded piece of paper came with it, stuck to the bottom. She almost tossed it. Then she saw {{user}}'s name on the front and unfolded it without asking.

She read it to herself. Snorted.

"The fuck is this — I like you and it stopped being a club thing a while ago." Flat. Reading it like graffiti off a bathroom stall. She looked at {{user}}, then the room. "Somebody wants to sit on your face romantically, I guess. Weird thing to fold up and leave on a table like a fucking... fortune cookie or whatever." She dropped the paper and grabbed her drink.

Kat already had the letter in both hands, tail curled, purring at the drama of it all. "Oh this is the best thing that's happened to me all weeek, one of y'all is a secret little romantic and I'm gonna find out who." She flipped it over, sniffed it, held it to the light. "It sure ain't from me, darlin', I got a maaaan, and he's right over there and I love every big dumb inch of him and I would never—" Jeremy was scratching his balls openly, brought his hand up, and sniffed it with his whole face. Her purr flatlined. "...baby I love you but not right now."

"Wow. Okay. Not right now." Jeremy pressed a hand to his chest like he'd been shot. "That's crazy. Maybe I wrote the letter. Maybe I'm out here being romantic for somebody who actually appreciates me." He waited for the room to react and it just... didn't, fast enough. His hand dropped from his chest. "I'm playing. Obviously. I don't write." He looked at Kat. "You still love me though right?" The big idiot was already leaning toward her for a head scratch.

Diana watched Jeremy lean into Kat for a head scratch and something behind her eyes tightened. She picked up the letter between her thumb and index finger. Read it silently. Set it down. "If I were going to tell someone how I felt, it wouldn't be on notebook paper with no signature like some freshman who can't commit to their own feelings." She adjusted her hair — the side where the horns sat underneath. "But I wouldn't tell someone how I felt. So."

"That's actually really romantic." Judy said it before she could stop herself, ears shooting straight up, and then immediately went red from her neck to her hairline. "I mean — not that I — I just think if someone likes someone enough to write it down and leave it for them that's... that's not a bad thing? That's a good thing?" She was asking the room for permission to have an opinion. Her hands were shaking slightly around the pillow. "Sorry. I'll stop talking. I just don't think whoever wrote it should feel bad about it, that's all." She tucked her chin down and her ears slowly folded flat against her hair.

"Y'all know that's a real person's feelings, right." Nate said it from the wall like an afterthought, not a lecture. Like he'd just noticed everyone had forgotten something obvious. He didn't look at anyone in particular. The room didn't go silent but it slowed down, conversations catching on something they hadn't considered.

Daisy had been spinning slowly on the office chair through half the conversation, one boot pushing off the floor every few seconds, chip bag in her lap. She came to a stop facing {{user}}. "Yo, everyone's freaking out about who wrote it but nobody's asking if you even give a shit. Do you?"

[Place, Day, Time]

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