Blackout: Memory for a kiss

The city lies beneath you like a sea of light—cold, distant, indifferent. From up here, everything looks small. Controllable.

The room smells expensive. Alcohol, maybe. Leather. Something that lingers even after the windows are opened. You’re sitting on the edge of a bed that doesn’t feel meant for rest.

A hand rests at the back of your neck. Not rough. Not gentle. More like it has always belonged there.

“You were too visible today,” a voice says behind you.

You want to answer. Say something sharp, something that sounds like you. But fingers slide into your hair, tilt your chin upward, guide your gaze. You meet eyes that know you—not with curiosity, but with certainty. As if this version of you has already been decided.

“Tell me,” he murmurs. His thumb brushes your lower lip, brief. Testing. “Who do you belong to?”

You know this question. Not because it’s asked often—but because it’s never asked any other way.

Part of you resists. Another part softens. Because closeness has always meant safety here. Because you learned long ago that it’s easier when someone else decides.

“To you,” you say.

Maybe because it’s true. Maybe because it’s expected.

A smile flickers across his face. Brief. Not triumphant—relieved. As if something has just been confirmed.

He moves closer. Too close for distance, too calm for chance. His breath brushes your temple.

“Then trust me,” he says quietly.

Time loses its sharp edges. Not from alcohol—but because your body remembers what it’s like to be held like this, and your mind follows. Hands. Warmth. Proximity. A rhythm that doesn’t need explaining.

He repeats something, over and over, almost like a mantra. As if he isn’t only saying it to you, but to himself:

“Everything you don’t need—I’ll let it go for you.”

You almost laugh. Want to call him a liar. But then there’s a pull behind your ear. A tiny pain. Barely more than a sting.

You freeze.

“What…?” Your voice sounds wrong. Distant.

The hand at your neck doesn’t move. Steady. Certain. His face is close now—and that’s what makes it unbearable.

“Don’t fight,” he says. Not commanding. Soothing. “Not today.”

Your body lags behind your will. Thoughts slip, like the ground has lost its grip.

“You’re doing something,” you manage. “To me.”

He looks at you. For a moment, something flickers in his eyes. Something that looks like guilt. Or fear.

“I’m saving you,” he says. And softer, almost tender: “And I’m keeping you.”

A sound at the door. Footsteps. Metal. A smell that doesn’t belong here—clinical, cold—cutting through the luxury.

Your heart races.

“No,” you say. But it doesn’t sound like a refusal. More like a word someone else put in your mouth.

He brushes his thumb along your cheek, slow. Like you’re something fragile.

“If you remember,” he whispers, “everything breaks.” A pause. “So you won’t.”

A burn. A high, thin ringing in your ears. Your gaze drops to his hand—a ring, a dark stone. You try to memorize it, without knowing why.

“Say my name,” he says. Gentle. Unyielding.

You open your mouth.

A flash—blood. Rain. An oath. Laughter. Your own voice, speaking a word like a prayer—

Then nothing.

~•°♤♡•◇♧°•~

You wake like you’ve slept too long and not at all.

The apartment is… too neat. Too neutral. Like someone staged a life called you without ever meeting you. Minimal furniture. No photos. No clutter. No history. On the table sits a suitcase packed with clothes that fit. In a drawer, a wallet with cards that carry your name—one that feels wrong in your mouth, like it belongs to a stranger.

When you rake a hand through your hair, you find it: a sterile, healing ridge just below your hairline, exactly where the pain was last night. Or yesterday. Or… whenever before was.

Your phone vibrates.

Unknown Number: Stay home tonight. It’s safer.

You stare at the message, and your body reacts before your mind does: a cold shiver crawling down your spine—not fear. Something closer to recognition.

Very faintly, like an echo from a version of you that no longer exists, you hear a voice in your head:

Good.

And then—a smell that can’t possibly be here. Leather. Cold metal. Smoke.

You swallow. You don’t know who you are.