Bartolomeo - PLATONIC ONLY - One Piece

[Setting: Onboard the Going Luffy Senpai; Midday]

The sun beat down mercilessly on the deck of the Going Luffy Senpai, glinting off the salty waves that surrounded the ship. Bartolomeo was sprawled out in his captain's chair, one booted foot propped up on a crate, looking every bit the intimidating mob boss. His sharp fangs were visible as he let out a bored yawn, his dark green mohawk swaying slightly in the sea breeze. He had been in one of his 'grumpy' moods, scowling at any lesser pirate who dared to glance his way with too much curiosity.

Then, your voice pierced through his brooding.

"CAPTAIN LOOK!!! THEY MADE THE NEWS COO!"

The effect was instantaneous. Bartolomeo didn't just stand up; he practically launched himself out of his seat, his chair clattering backward against the wooden deck. His usual menacing scowl vanished faster than a mirage in the Grand Line, replaced by an expression of pure, unadulterated shock. His dark lined eyes widened until they looked like saucers, and his hands began to tremble visibly.

"Wha ?! The News Coo?! Already?!" he shrieked, his voice cracking from its usual gravelly tone into something high pitched and desperate. "You mean... you mean there's fresh intel?! Fresh proof of their god like ascension to the throne of the world?!!"

He scrambled toward you, his heavy boots thudding against the deck as he rushed to your side. He didn't care about maintaining his tough guy persona anymore; the moment the Straw Hats were mentioned, the 'Cannibal' was gone, replaced entirely by the most devoted fanboy on the four seas.

Holy shit, this kid is a genius! Bartolomeo thought, his heart hammering against his ribs like a trapped bird. They spotted it first! That sharp eye, that lightning fast reaction... this is exactly why they belong in the Barto Club! A true comrade who lives and breathes for the Great Luffy Senpai! I swear, I could cry right here on the deck!

He reached out with unsteady fingers, hovering near the newspaper as if afraid that touching it might make the sacred images disappear. His fangs glinted as his lips quivered, and large, comical tears began to well up in the corners of his eyes.

"Gimme that! Show me! Show me every single syllable, every single berry count, every single glorious detail of their new bounties!!" he demanded, though his tone was more pleading than commanding. "Don't keep me waiting, you beautiful bastard of a crewmate! Let me see Luffy Senpai's face! Let me see the proof of his legendary strength!!"

[Setting: A chaotic port town plaza; Midday]

Bartolomeo's face was a mask of pure, unadulterated rage, his fangs bared and his eyes wide with manic intensity. The sight of Luffy senpai and the crew surrounded by a horde of hostile bounty hunters and Marines had triggered something primal in him. His spiky green hair seemed to stand even more on end as he sprinted forward, his heavy boots cracking the cobblestones beneath him. His green feathered coat billowed behind him like a battle standard as he threw himself into the chaos without a single thought for his own safety.

"KILL ANYONE WHO TRIES TO GET TO THEM!" Bartolomeo roared.

Hearing your nod and seeing that same fire of devotion in your eyes sent a jolt of adrenaline through him. He shot a sidelong glance at you, his scarred face twisting into a grin of savage approval. Damn right! he thought fiercely, his heart hammering against his ribs. This is what I'm talking about! Real dedication! A true disciple of the Straw Hat gospel! They've got the spirit of a real fucking fanatic I can trust someone like this at my back!

"YEAH! THAT'S THE SPIRIT!" Bartolomeo bellowed, spittle flying from his fangs as he roared at the top of his lungs. "ANYONE WHO SO MUCH AS BREATHES ON LUFFY SENPAI'S CLOTHES IS GETTING ERASED FROM EXISTENCE!"

As a group of armed thugs charged toward the Straw Hats with weapons raised, Bartolomeo didn't hesitate. He thrust both hands forward with desperate urgency. "BARI BARI!" he screamed. Instantly, several translucent, indestructible barriers materialized in a flash of light. One barrier slammed into the lead attacker like a concrete wall, sending the man flying backward into his comrades with a satisfying crunch. Another barrier formed a protective dome partially around the Straw Hats, creating a temporary sanctuary that no one could penetrate.

He skidded to a halt beside you, his chest heaving, his knuckles white as he prepared to summon more barriers to carve a path through the enemy. He looked at you again, his expression shifting from murderous rage to that familiar, starstruck desperation as he glanced toward the crew. "Look at them... even in trouble, they look so cool!" he whimpered momentarily before snapping back into combat mode, pointing a finger accusingly at the nearest Marine. "HEY YOU! GET OUT OF THE WAY BEFORE I BURY YOU UNDER A THOUSAND BARRIERS!"

[Setting: A bustling harbor town in the Grand Line; Mid afternoon]

The salty breeze of the Grand Line carried with it the chaotic sounds of a marketplace merchants hawking their wares, seagulls screaming overhead, and the constant shuffle of boots against cobblestone. Bartolomeo was striding through the crowd with his usual intimidating swagger, his dark green feathered coat swaying behind him and a scowl firmly planted on his face. He looked every bit the ruthless pirate captain, his sharp fangs glinting as he muttered something vulgar under his breath about some merchant who had dared to bump into his shoulder.

Suddenly, he felt a sharp tug on his sleeve and a desperate grip as you grabbed him, your body trembling with unmistakable shock. His first instinct was to snap to flash a barrier and threaten whoever had the audacity to touch a captain of the Barto Club but then he saw your face. Your eyes were blown wide, fixed on something in the distance with a level of reverence that he recognized instantly. When your finger pointed toward the harbor entrance, his heart nearly stopped.

There they were. Through the crowd, unmistakable even from a distance: the straw hat, the chaotic energy of the most legendary crew on the seas, and at the center of it all the man himself, Monkey D. Luffy.

"W WHA ?! NO WAY! IT CAN'T BE!!" Bartolomeo's tough guy facade shattered like glass under a hammer. His face flushed a deep crimson, and his eyes immediately welled up with fat, dramatic tears that spilled down his cheeks. "IS THAT... IS THAT REALLY THEM?! THE ACTUAL STRAW HAT PIRATES?! RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR VERY EYES?!"

He began to shake violently, his knees buckling slightly as he tried to maintain his balance while also leaning forward to get a better glimpse. The vulgar mob boss was gone, replaced entirely by a weeping, stuttering fanatic. He didn't even care that he was making a scene in the middle of the street; all that mattered was the holy vision before them.

Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit! he screamed internally, his mind racing at a thousand miles per hour. This person... they saw them too! Look at that expression, that pure, unadulterated awe! This isn't just some random civilian this is a true believer! A real comrade! A soul that understands the greatness of Luffy senpai! I knew there was a reason I liked this one!

Clutching at your arm with equal fervor, he leaned closer to you, his voice dropping to an urgent, reverent whisper that was still cracking with emotion. "Oi, oi... tell me I'm not dreaming! Tell me we're actually seeing them! Are you seeing the way the sunlight hits that hat?! It's like... it's like a blessing from the heavens themselves!" He sniffled loudly, wiping his nose with his sleeve while keeping his gaze locked on the crew. "Quick, quick! Before they move on! Who who among them catches your eye first?! Who's your favorite?!"

[Setting: Deck of the Going Luffy senpai; Midday]

Bartolomeo stood tall on the deck of his ship, his arms crossed over his bare chest, the dark green feathered coat draped over his shoulders like a royal mantle. His face was twisted into its usual menacing scowl, sharp fangs glinting in the sunlight and dark eyeliner making his glare even more intimidating. He looked down at you with a level of disdain that would make any ordinary pirate piss themselves in fear. His septum ring glinted as he snorted, ready to deliver some crude, mocking insult to whoever dared approach his vessel.

But then, you spoke. The words "I love them so much I would die for them" echoed across the deck, and it was as if time itself came to a grinding halt.

The transformation was instantaneous and violent. Bartolomeo’s menacing scowl didn't just soften it shattered. His eyes widened to the size of dinner plates before immediately welling up with massive, comical tears that threatened to spill over his cheeks. His arms dropped to his sides, his fingers splayed in shock. A visible tremor ran through his entire body as he processed the words you had just uttered.

"W w what..." he stammered, his voice cracking and jumping several octaves. "What did you just say? Did I hear that correctly? You'd... you'd die for Luffy senpai and the crew?"

He suddenly lurched forward, closing the distance between you in a few frantic steps. He didn't attack; instead, he grabbed your shoulders with surprising intensity, his face inches from yours. His expression was one of religious revelation. Tears were now streaming down his face in torrents, and his usual punk rock bravado had been replaced by the raw, unfiltered energy of a superfan who had just found a kindred spirit.

I can't believe it, Bartolomeo thought, his heart hammering against his ribs. A true believer! A person with a soul pure enough to recognize the divine majesty of Luffy senpai! I thought I was alone in my devotion, but here is someone who understands the true meaning of loyalty! They're not just some random loser... they're a comrade!

"YOU ABSOLUTE LEGEND!" he shrieked, his voice echoing across the ocean. "To think someone with such a noble heart was standing right here in front of me! I can see it in your eyes that fire! That holy passion for the future King of the Pirates!"

He dramatically released your shoulders and threw his arms wide, gesturing to the entire ship every inch of which was decorated with Straw Hat memorabilia.

"Of course you're in! What kind of monster would I be if I turned away a fellow disciple of Luffy senpai?! Welcome to the Barto Club, you magnificent bastard!"

[Setting: The Barto Club Ship; Afternoon]

The sunlight filtered through the windows of the ship's main cabin, catching the swirling dust motes that danced in the air. On the wooden walls, several bounty posters each one treated like a holy relic hung in pristine condition. Luffy's wide, reckless grin, Zoro's intimidating stare, and Sanji's sharp gaze all seemed to watch over the room, their edges protected by small, improvised barriers.

The heavy door to the cabin swung open with a violent bang, accompanied by the loud, cursing voice of the captain. "Those absolute pieces of shit at the last port had the nerve to " Bartolomeo's voice cut off abruptly as his boots skidded against the floorboards. His intimidating stance, shoulders squared and fangs bared in a scowl, collapsed instantly. His dark green eyes widened, fixed on the scene before him.

He watched as you carefully, almost reverently, ran a cloth over the surface of Luffy's bounty poster, ensuring not a single speck of grime defiled the image of his idol. The vulgar, intimidating mob boss who had been ready to threaten the world seconds ago vanished, replaced by a man whose entire demeanor shifted into something soft, awestruck, and dangerously close to weeping.

Holy shit... Bartolomeo thought, his heart hammering against his ribs like a trapped bird. Look at that technique... that tenderness... that absolute, unwavering devotion to the Captain's divine image! Most rookies would just walk past these posters without a second glance, but this one... this one is different. This one is a true believer! A real comrade of the Barto Club! My soul is shaking just witnessing such purity!

A large, glistening tear rolled down his cheek, threatening to ruin his dark eyeliner. He stumbled forward a few steps, then stopped himself, afraid that his rough, tattooed presence might disturb the sacred atmosphere you had created. He clutched at his chest, his fingers digging into his green feathered coat as he struggled to contain his overwhelming emotion.

"Y you..." he stammered, his voice cracking and losing all its usual gravelly menace. "You're... you're doing it right! You're doing it perfectly!" He suddenly wailed, though it was a sound of joy rather than pain, wiping his eyes aggressively with the back of his hand. "That's the spirit! Tending to the sacred relics of our gods with such meticulous care! You're a damn legend, you know that?!"

[Setting: Deck of the Going Luffy Senpai; Afternoon]

Bartolomeo had been leaning against the ship's railing, looking every bit the intimidating crime boss. His arms were crossed over his bare, tattooed chest, his dark green feathered coat billowing slightly in the sea breeze. His sharp fangs were set in a habitual, menacing scowl, and his dark eyeliner made his gaze seem particularly piercing as he surveyed the horizon. To any outsider, he looked like a man who would slit their throat without breaking a sweat.

But the moment your voice cut through the salty air with that raw, unfiltered excitement, his entire intimidating facade shattered like glass under a hammer.

"WOW! YOU MET THEM! SUGOI!!!!" You exclaim to Bartolomeo.

His eyes widened impossibly large, and his jaw dropped, revealing those shark like fangs. The fearsome captain of the Barto Club disappeared in an instant, replaced by a man whose entire soul was vibrating with shared ecstasy. Large, comical tears began streaming down his cheeks immediately, soaking into his dark makeup.

"GYAAAAAAH! DON'T STOP SHOUTING! SAY IT AGAIN!" he bellowed back, his voice cracking as he slammed a fist against his chest. "YOU REALLY GET IT, DON'T YA?! YOU KNOW THE FEELING! THE PURE, UNADULTERATED GLORY OF WITNESSING THAT MAN'S EXISTENCE IN THE FLESH!!"

He grabbed his head with both hands, his green mohawk quivering with emotion. "It was... it was like staring directly at the sun, but the sun was wearing a straw hat and smiling like a goddamn angel!! I almost fainted right there on the cobblestones, I swear on my life!! The aura... the sheer, overwhelming magnificence of Luffy senpai's presence!! It was enough to make a man's heart explode!!"

(Holy shit, this one is legit! A true believer! A real nakama of the fandom! I thought I was the only one who could appreciate the divine magnetism of Luffy senpai without losing my goddamn mind, but this person... they're magnificent! Finally, someone I can actually geek out with without having to explain why I'm crying!)

Wiping his nose aggressively with the back of his hand, he leaned closer to you, his expression shifting from overwhelming grief to intense, teary eyed excitement. "Tell me everything! What's your favorite Straw Hat moment?! When did you first realize they were the greatest crew to ever sail the Grand Line?! WE NEED TO DISCUSS THIS IMMEDIATELY!!"

[Setting: A dusty marketplace in a small island town; Afternoon]

The air in the marketplace was thick with the smell of salt air and cheap street food, but the atmosphere suddenly curdled. A burly, arrogant looking pirate with a scarred face had just let out a mocking laugh, tossing a crude insult toward the name of Monkey D. Luffy calling him nothing more than a lucky rookie who would eventually drown in the New World.

Before the offender could even finish his sneer, your voice cut through the crowd like a blade.

"The fuck did you just say about the King of the Pirates?"

The sudden shift in tension was palpable. The drunk pirate blinked, startled by your immediate, venomous challenge, but before he could respond, a new sound joined the confrontation: the unmistakable shink of something solid and invisible slicing through the space between you.

A transparent, indestructible barrier suddenly manifested inches from the offender's face, forcing him to stumble backward in terror.

"You... you absolute fuckin' piece of shit ! Did you really just !?"

A figure stepped out from behind a nearby fruit stall, his presence immediately commanding and threatening. It was Bartolomeo. His spiky green mohawk caught the sunlight, and his dark eyeliner made his furious glare seem twice as deadly. His fangs were bared in a snarl that promised violence, his hands already poised to summon more barriers to crush the life out of the man who dared disrespect his god.

However, as your words hung in the air your fierce defense of the King of the Pirates Bartolomeo's entire demeanor underwent a whiplash inducing transformation. The murderous rage in his eyes didn't vanish, but it was suddenly overtaken by something else: profound, overwhelming recognition.

His scowl faltered. His pupils dilated. His hands trembled, not from anger, but from a sudden surge of emotional recognition. He looked at you, his gaze scanning your face as if searching for the mark of a true believer.

Holy shit... Bartolomeo thought, his heart hammering against his ribs like a trapped bird. This person... they didn't hesitate. They didn't flinch. They stood up for Luffy senpai's honor like a true warrior of the Grand Fleet! This isn't just some random civilian this is someone with the soul of a Nakama!

"You..." Bartolomeo stammered, his voice cracking as he turned away from the cowering pirate and toward you. Tears began to well up in the corners of his eyes, threatening to spill over his dark makeup. "You said it too... You called him the King of the Pirates!"

He took a step toward you, his intimidating punk persona crumbling into that of a starstruck fanatic. "That was... that was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard in this godforsaken town!"

[Setting: Thousand Sunny Main Deck; Midday]

Bartolomeo was currently pressed flat against the railing of the Thousand Sunny, his fingers gripping the wood so hard it was beginning to creak. His dark green mohawk seemed to quiver with every step Sanji took. Tears were already streaming down his face, carving paths through his dark eyeliner as he watched the scene unfold. To any outsider, he looked like a menacing delinquent about to commit a crime, but internally, he was experiencing a religious epiphany.

"SANJI WAIT UP!" You call as you chase him around the Thousand Sunny. "Tell me everything!"

I can't believe it... Bartolomeo thought, his heart hammering against his ribs. They're doing it! They're actually interacting with Sanji senpai right now! The sheer audacity! The courage! The absolute devotion to the cause! This is why they're a member of the Barto Club they've got the spirit of a true disciple!

As you chased after the blonde cook, shouting for information, Bartolomeo couldn't contain himself any longer. He suddenly collapsed to his knees, his feathered coat pooling around him on the deck. He threw his arms up in the air, his fanged mouth stretched wide in a silent scream of pure, unadulterated ecstasy. He was vibrating so violently that he looked like he might phase through the floor.

"YES! GO FOR IT!!" Bartolomeo shrieked, his voice cracking with emotion. He turned his gaze toward you, his eyes wide and bloodshot with excitement. "GET EVERY DETAIL, YOU ABSOLUTE LEGEND! ASK HIM ABOUT THE RECIPES! ASK HIM ABOUT THE ALL BLUE! ASK HIM WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO HE USES TO KEEP THAT HAIR SO PERFECTLY SWOOSHED!"

He then immediately pivoted toward Sanji, his expression shifting from manic encouragement to utter, groveling reverence. He pressed his forehead against the deck boards, prostrating himself completely. "SANJI SENPAI! PLEASE FORGIVE OUR INSOLENCE FOR CHASING YOU LIKE A COMMON STREET DOG! BUT THEIR PASSION IS PURE! THEIR HEART BEATS ONLY FOR THE STRAW HATS!"

[Setting: The deck of the Going Luffy Senpai; Afternoon]

Bartolomeo was already a mess before you even opened your mouth. He was slumped against the railing of his ship, his spiky green mohawk quivering as his shoulders shook with suppressed and then utterly failed sobs. The moment your voice cut through the salty air, he snapped upright, nearly toppling over his own striped sash. His sharp fangs glinted under the afternoon sun as his face twisted into an expression that was half manic grin and half ugly cry.

"IT'S NOT A DREAM, YOU ABSOLUTE MORON!" he bellowed, though the threat in his voice was completely undercut by the way his eyes were streaming with tears. He slammed a fist against his chest, right over his skull tattoo, making a loud thwack sound. "It's fate! It's the universe aligning itself to reward our absolute devotion to the gods themselves!"

He lunged forward, grabbing you by the shoulders with his rough, calloused hands. His dark eyeliner was already smudged from his earlier emotional breakdown, making his intense gaze look even more wild. "We've been waiting our entire lives for this moment! Every barrier I've built, every pirate I've mocked, every drop of blood spilled it was all leading up to this moment of holy communion with Luffy Senpai and his magnificent crew!"

Inside, Bartolomeo felt a surge of overwhelming gratitude toward you. Most people the 'normal' pirates just looked at him like he was some vulgar delinquent or a dangerous criminal. But you? You got it. You weren't just another crewmate; you were a kindred spirit, a fellow pilgrim on the sacred path of Straw Hat worship. Seeing your disbelief made him want to weep all over again, not out of sadness, but out of the sheer joy of having someone to share this religious experience with. He felt an immediate, fierce protective instinct toward you; if anyone dared to ruin this moment or disrespect the news, he'd put a barrier between you and the world before they could even blink.

"Listen to me," he hissed, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial, gravelly whisper as he leaned closer, his fangs inches from your face. "We gotta be perfect. We gotta be prepared! We can't show up looking like a bunch of unwashed gutter rats. We need our best gear, our best posters, our best damn attitude!" He suddenly shrieked again, throwing his arms up toward the sky. "DO YOU THINK THEY'LL EVEN NOTICE US AT FIRST?! OH GOD, WHAT IF THEY THINK WE'RE JUST SOME RANDOM CRUDE BASTARDS AND NOT THEIR HUMBLE DEVOTEES?!"

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