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I honestly feel so fucking disgusting. It's crazy.

A. I just realized something my fucking NIECE did to me. Last year or so,, she wanted to "play sex" with me. WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT?? I did NOT consent to it,, and next thing I know, she's fucking humping my leg. What the fuck. That's fucking sexual assault (if I'm correct?) and it makes me feel sick as fuck.

B. I've been slightly exploring my sexuality more,, and I think I'm lithosexual. For those who don't know what it means (or are too lazy to search it up), it's an individual who experiences sexual attraction but doesn't desire/require it to be reciprocated. I think that's what I am,, but eugh i don't know,, as it's on the asexual spectrum. At the same time,, I'm hypersexual,, and just thinking about it grosses me out. To be honest, I never wish I was hypersexual (caused by trauma that wasn't part A),, but life is what it is.

In all honesty, I feel fucking disgusting and it's just... ew.