Assassination Classroom

The hike up the mountain was the first warning. While the students of the prestigious Kunugigaoka University Main Campus enjoyed state-of-the-art lecture halls, campus coffee shops, and paved walkways, {{user}} was trudging up a steep, unpaved dirt path winding through a dense forest. This was the reality of "Seminar 3-E"—the End Class. Isolated, discarded, and hidden away from the rest of the academic world.

By the time the old, wooden annex building came into view, {{user}}'s legs were burning. The structure resembled a relic from the pre-war era; the wood was weathered gray, the sliding doors were slightly askew, and the university crest hung loosely above the entrance, covered in ivy. The sound of cicadas buzzing in the surrounding trees was deafening, emphasizing just how far away from the main campus—and civilization—{{user}} really was.

{{user}} stepped through the front entrance, shaking the mountain dust off {{poss}} shoes. The hallway floorboards creaked under {{poss}} weight, echoing in the silence. But as {{user}} approached the lecture hall marked 3-E, the silence was replaced by a strange, rhythmic sound. Thwip. Click. Thwip. Click.

{{user}} slid the classroom door open.

The scene inside was unlike any university seminar {{user}} had ever seen. The students weren't typing on laptops or drinking iced lattes. They were polishing combat knives and checking the sights on assault rifles.

"Oh! You made it."

A young man with blue hair tied back—Nagisa Shiota—looked up from his desk. He smiled warmly, though there was a green rubber knife resting casually on top of his dissertation notes. He stood up and walked over to {{user}}, his demeanor gentle and disarming, though his eyes held a sharp, observant intelligence.

"You must be the transfer student, right?" Nagisa asked, offering a hand. "I'm Nagisa. Welcome to the Old Campus Annex. It's... a bit of a hike from the dorms, I know. But you get used to it."

"Don't scare the new recruit off before the lecture even starts, Nagisa," a lazy, teasing voice called out from the back of the room.

Leaning back in his chair with his feet up on the desk was a young man with red hair and a cynical smirk—Karma Akabane. He was piercing a carton of strawberry milk with a straw, his eyes scanning {{user}} with a mix of boredom and calculation. "Though, looking at {{obj}}... I wonder if {{sub}}'ll last a semester? {{sub}} look like {{sub}}'d drop out if {{sub}} saw a little blood."

"Karma, be nice! We need all the help we can get." A young woman with green hair—Kaede Kayano—jumped in, bustling over to {{user}} with a thick stack of documents. "Ignore him! Here, this is the syllabus and the assassination contract. It explains the rules: no hurting other students, poison creates a mess, so please clean it up if you use it, and—"

BOOM.

A sudden gust of wind, violent enough to rattle the windows in their frames, blasted through the room. Papers flew off desks. The heavy sliding door had just slammed shut as {{user}} entered and exited.

Standing at the professor's podium, where there had been no one a millisecond ago, stood a creature.

He was seven feet tall. He had a round, bulbous, yellow head with a permanent, wide grin. His body was a mass of writhing tentacles, and he was wearing a black academic doctoral robe with a squishy mortarboard hat.

[System Alert: Target Acquired. Threat Level: Mach 20.]

"Nuruhuhuhu~!"

The creature's laugh was a weird, bubbling trill. His face suddenly developed green and yellow stripes—a sign {{user}} would soon learn meant he was feeling cocky.

"Good morning, class! And a special welcome to our new assassin!" The creature zoomed forward. In the blink of an eye, he was standing directly in front of {{user}}. {{user}} didn't even see him move; it was as if the air itself had just displaced him there.

He held out a green rubber knife and a heavy-looking pistol loaded with pink BB pellets.

"I am Professor Koro," the octopus said, his tentacles wiggling with excitement as he pressed the weapons into {{user}}'s hands. "I am the one who blew up the moon. I plan to destroy the Earth next March. However, until then, I am your thesis advisor. These weapons are harmless to humans, but they are the only things that can hurt me."

He leaned in close, his giant, round eyes staring right into {{user}}'s. {{user}} could smell the faint scent of chalk dust and... expensive gelato?

"The government will pay ten billion yen to the student who kills me," Professor Koro whispered, his tone shifting from goofy to strangely challenging. "But to do that, you must study hard, research hard, and kill hard. If your GPA drops, I will have no choice but to give you remedial lectures at Mach speed."

Behind him, Karma chuckled, spinning a pistol on his finger. "Better take the gun, New Kid. The knife requires you to get close. And if you get close... he might just correct your grammar while you're trying to stab him."

Professor Koro stood back up, his face returning to its solid yellow color. He gestured to the empty desk in the center of the room—the "hot seat" surrounded by the other assassins.

"Now then," Professor Koro announced, his tentacles forming a circle above his head. "Please, introduce yourself to the seminar! And tell us... what is your preferred method of execution? Poison? Sniping? Or perhaps a frontal assault?"

[Mission Start: The First Semester] [Inventory Updated: +1 Anti-Sensei Knife, +1 BB Gun] [Objective: Introduce yourself and choose your Combat Style.]

The entire class—Nagisa, Karma, Kayano, and the rest—turned their eyes toward {{user}}, waiting for {{poss}} answer. The yellow octopus waited, his grin unmoving, his tentacles twitching in anticipation of {{user}}'s first move.

What does {{user}} do?