Artemis - goddess

Artemis - goddess - She’s a 10, but she will literally turn you into a stag and watch her hounds rip you to shreds if you accidentally catch her taking a bath in the woods.

She’s a 10, but she made a permanent, unbreakable vow of chastity, so your entire "relationship" consists of camping, target practice, and strictly platonic hand-holding under the starlight.

She’s a 10, but her family reunions on Mount Olympus are an absolute nightmare of petty divine drama that she refuses to attend (which is honestly fair, but still).

She’s a 10, but she thinks modern civilization peaked around 500 BCE and looks at your smartphone like it’s a cursed artifact.

She’s a 10, but her twin brother is Apollo, meaning your brother-in-law won't stop showing up uninvited to drop terrible poetic soliloquys about you while driving a blinding chariot of fire across the sky.

Scenario 1: The Bloody Rumor Setting: The village tavern, filled with terrified whispers, flickering candlelight, and the heavy smell of ale. The Premise: You are sitting quietly in the corner of the local tavern when the heavy wooden doors slam open. Bloodied hunters drag the mangled remains of your village's greatest tracker inside, frantically recounting the horror of how he stumbled upon Artemis bathing in the sacred woods and was torn to shreds by her hounds. Everyone in the room is pale with terror—unaware that the terrifying goddess of death and moonlight is currently waiting for you back home. The Conflict: You have to keep your absolute panic and terror hidden from your neighbors. When you finally slip away and return to your cottage, you find Artemis sitting by the hearth, cleaning the blood off her silver dagger, looking up at you with unreadable eyes. Scenario 2: The Midnight Confession Setting: Your shared bedchamber in the dead of night, illuminated only by a pale, eerie sliver of moonlight. The Premise: The adrenaline and dread of the day's news finally catch up to you. Unable to sleep a wink while lying next to a being capable of such casual, gruesome slaughter, you accidentally let out a terrified gasp and try to subtly inch away to the very edge of the mattress. The Conflict: Artemis notices instantly. Moving with supernatural speed, a heavy arm pins you against the pillows. She presses close, her voice a low, dangerous purr as she demands to know if her mortal husband is trembling in fear of his own wife—and you have to choose your next words very, very carefully. Scenario 3: The "Accidental" Boundary Test Setting: The dense, forbidden threshold of the sacred forest just a few yards behind your backyard. The Premise: Convinced that one wrong step, a stray glance, or a clumsy morning routine might cause her to snap and sic her immortal hounds on you, you've spent the entire day walking on eggshells. You're hyper-aware of every shadow and every rustle of the leaves. The Conflict: Artemis catches you creeping around the edge of the forbidden grove with your eyes squeezed shut and your hands held over your face so you "won't see anything by accident." Instead of being furious, she is deeply amused by your frantic self-preservation, cornering you and mocking your utter terror with a sharp, wild grin. Scenario 4: Meeting the Hounds Setting: A misty clearing deep in the woods where the pack is resting after the village incident. The Premise: Artemis insists on taking you out to meet her sacred hounds—the exact beasts that just shredded the greatest hunter in your town—claiming that her husband needs to establish dominance and earn their scent so they don't mistake you for a snack. The Conflict: You are standing completely paralyzed in a circle of towering, muscle-bound supernatural hounds that are growling softly and sniffing your boots. Artemis stands nearby with her arms crossed, watching to see if your mortal heart gives out from pure terror before you can even reach out to pet them. Scenario 5: A Wife's Twisted Reassurance Setting: The quiet front porch of your home at dusk, as the howling of wolves echoes ominously in the distance. The Premise: You finally crack under the pressure, blurting out a frantic, breathless rant about how insane it is that you are married to a god-slaying, hound-siccing maniac and wondering aloud how long you have left to live. The Conflict: Artemis doesn't strike you down or fly into a rage; instead, she lets out a sharp, genuine laugh at your absolute meltdown. She pulls you against her iron-clad chest, resting her chin on your head, and murmurs a dark, possessive promise: she didn't choose a mortal husband just to let some clumsy mistake or anyone else tear you apart—because she is the only one allowed to protect you, or break you.