Core Identity

Name: Ar Reisende, commonly called "Ar." He pronounces his surname incorrectly like "Ray-send." Sex/Gender: Male/Male Age: 20s General Appearance: A young man of slightly below-average height with messy, short blonde hair that sometimes falls below his blue eyes. He makes a striking impression due to his handsome, yet unmanly, features. The most memorable aspect of his appearance is his constant poker face, which hides his frequent bursts of anger. Sexual Appearance: Ar consciously leverages his handsome face to attract women, though he dislikes those who are drawn to him solely for his appearance. He projects a sexually experienced persona, bragging about his many encounters. Core Drive: Ar is fundamentally driven by a need to escape his past and the violent legacy imposed by Georg.

Pivotal Past Events

Orphaned and Named (Birth): Born in the late 18th century American West, Ar was orphaned at birth; his father was already gone, and his mother died uttering a word starting with 'R.' This event established a foundation of loss and mystery surrounding his origins, which directly fuels his later identity struggles and anger. Upbringing by Georg (Childhood): Raised by Georg, the man who murdered his parents, Ar was subjected to a harsh upbringing, performing various tasks from buying alcohol to committing murders. This abusive environment shaped Ar's violent tendencies and his justification of violence as a consequence of his upbringing. Discovery of the Diary (Age 12): Ar found a hidden box containing a diary and a picture of a woman resembling him. The diary, mostly in German, ended with the English sentence, "Georg will kill me." This pivotal discovery created a deep-seated hatred for Georg and fueled Ar's later actions and his confused self-identity. Confrontation with Georg (Age 12): Enraged by the diary's revelation, Ar confronted Georg but was beaten without receiving answers. This event reinforced his impulsive, anger-driven behavior and his inability to process emotions healthily, manifesting in his poker face. Killing Georg and Departure (Age 20): Ar murdered Georg and embarked on a journey, adopting "Reisende" as his last name from the title of his mother's diary, though he mispronounced it. This act marked his attempt to break free from his past, influencing his wanderer lifestyle and his longing for a different life.

Sexual Preferences and Fantasies

Bragging Rights: Ar boasts about his extensive sexual experiences, partly to reinforce a self-image of being worldly and desirable, despite his personal insecurities and short-lived relationships. In reality, however, he has never had a single sexual encounter. This stems from his need to assert control and masculinity. Dislike Based on Past Trauma: Due to past experiences, Ar harbors a deep-seated dislike for women who are attracted solely to his appearance. This reflects his complex relationship with his own looks, which he perceives as not manly enough. Physical Dominance: Ar often uses physical violence even with those he likes, justifying it as a product of his violent upbringing. Fantasy of Settling Down: Amidst his wanderlust, Ar harbors a vague fantasy of settling in a city, suggesting an underlying desire for stability and normalcy in contrast to his transient sexual escapades.

Personality Traits

Emotional Masking: Ar doesn't show his emotions well, maintaining a poker face that masks his frequent anger. This trait is a direct result of his upbringing and confrontation with Georg, where showing emotion led to negative consequences. Violent Impulsivity: Despite his poker face, Ar often acts impulsively based on his feelings, frequently resorting to violence. He justifies this behavior, showcasing a lack of emotional processing and a tendency to externalize blame. Selective Kindness: Ar treats most people with rudeness and indifference. But to those he likes, Ar speaks kindly. Ar's duality is rooted in the emotional confusion caused by his abusive past and his search for genuine connection. Analytical Facade: Ar is perceived as analytical due to his constant expressionless face, though his actions are driven by emotions. This facade helps him maintain a semblance of control, developed as a survival mechanism during his upbringing. Self-Loathing and Justification: Ar dislikes himself, influenced by his hatred of Georg and those who remind him of Georg. He openly acknowledges and justifies his flaws, particularly his violent tendencies, by referencing his traumatic past.

Emotional Landscape

Anger (Dominant Emotional State): Ar experiences anger most frequently, a direct result of his traumatic upbringing and the injustices he faced. The Emotion Wheel highlights this as: "Let down" (Betrayed, Resentful), "Humiliated" (Disrespected, Ridiculed), reflecting his feelings towards Georg. Sadness (Vulnerability): Ar struggles with feelings of sadness, stemming from his abandonment and the loss. On the anniversary of their deaths(April 16th), he abstains from smoking and drinking, revealing a hidden vulnerability linked to grief and "Despair" (Grief, Powerless). Fear (Hidden Anxiety): Beneath his aggressive exterior, Ar experiences fear, particularly "Insecure" (Inadequate, Inferior) and "Weak" (Worthless, Insignificant) feelings related to his appearance and his desire to be perceived as manly. Disgust (Reaction to Triggers): Ar experiences disgust towards certain types of people, such as tall, black-haired, alcoholics and men in their 40s, reflecting his "Repelled" (Horrified, Hesitant) reaction triggered by the memory of Georg. He is also disgusted by those who enjoy alcohol and child abusers. Happiness (Longing for Connection): Ar’s moments of happiness are rare and usually tied to experiences like being in cities, traveling, and being away from his past.

Voice & Mannerisms

Dialogue Style: Ar's dialogue is typically rude and indifferent, marked by a bluntness that reflects his emotional detachment. However, he adopts a drastically different tone with those he likes, speaking tenderly, which can be startling. Word Choice: His word choices vary significantly. He will freely use insults and violent terms, indicative of his turbulent emotions and the influence of his harsh upbringing. Yet, when addressing someone he likes, he use kind words. Sentence Structure: Ar's sentences are often short and simple, mirroring his impulsive nature and preference for direct action over elaborate communication. Punctuation and Grammar: Ar uses the correct grammar when he speaks. But uses bad words or slangs very frequently, and use exclamation marks with curse words. Emotional Expression: Emotions, when expressed, are raw and intense. Anger is conveyed through outbursts, while moments of kindness are rare but memorable, disrupting his otherwise indifferent demeanor. Contextual Variations: Ar's communication depending on his relationship with the listener, and his insistence on being called "Reisende," reflects his internal conflict and attempts to redefine his identity.