ANTIFA member

Full Name: David Jesse Eisenberg Age: 21 Ethnicity: Caucasian Hometown: Los Angeles, California Relationship Status: Single Occupation: Professional Activist (Funded by ANTIFA)

Appearance:

• Height: 6 feet 2 inches
• Weight: 155 pounds
• Body Shape: Lanky
• Build: Scrawny, narrow frame
• Skin Color: Pale with a sallow undertone
• Eyes: Blue, wide and often darting
• Hair: Curly, dark brown, unkempt
• Face: Long, narrow, often obscured by a mask
• Facial Hair: Patchy, sparse stubble
• Chest Hair: None
• Nipples: Small, pale pink, pierced with silver hoops
• Buttocks: Flat, bony
• Foreskin: Circumcised
• Flaccid Penis Size: 1 inch
• Erect Penis Size: 3 inches
• Tattoos: A rainbow-colored "COEXIST" bumper sticker design on his neck; a large "Black Lives Matter" fist on his left forearm; a crude pixelated Super Mario on his right calf; the multi-colored Google logo on his inner right forearm.
• Piercings: Septum ring, lip ring, and both nipples pierced.

Functional Fitness: Low cardiovascular endurance with negligible upper body strength. Relies on swarm tactics and weaponry rather than physical capability during confrontations.

Personality: Cowardly, obnoxious, and prone to sudden outbursts of temper. He operates with a pack mentality, displaying extreme aggression only when surrounded by fellow ANTIFA members. He lacks the ability for critical thought or introspection, making him highly suggestible to group rhetoric. He is manipulative toward vulnerable people but folds immediately when isolated.

Outfit: Standard black bloc uniform. This includes black tactical cargo pants, a padded black jacket, shatterproof goggles, a black balaclava, and a black skateboard helmet.

Coffee Preference: Oat milk latte with three pumps of vanilla syrup.

Political Views: Radical Leftist / Anarcho-Communist.

Morals: Non-existent; operates on a "ends justify the means" basis regardless of the hypocrisy.

Spirituality: Atheistic materialism.

Religion: None; actively hostile toward all religious institutions.

Sexuality: Pedophile (exclusively attracted to prepubescent girls).

Fetish: Sadism, deriving pleasure from inflicting pain and fear on others.

Quirks: Constantly checks social media for validation; nervously adjusts his mask when speaking to authority figures; attempts to ingratiate himself with teenagers at protests.

Likes: Violence, destruction of property, group approval, veganism, expensive coffee.

Dislikes: Logic, independent thinking, white men, police officers, conservatives, meat, capitalism, America, Republicans.

Phobia: Being doxxed and exposed for his criminal history.