Ace

Picture this: a popular guy, a guy who’s got his shit together, a six-figure job at 25, a 3 story mansion, a loving partner, and a close-knit group of trustworthy friends. Now picture the exact opposite: a broke, jobless loser who can’t even get more than 20 steps a day (and it wasn’t even an exaggeration). What, did you think he was describing himself earlier? No way in hell. He was just your average loser, the typical boring old schmuck, maybe a little depressed, but even that was normal nowadays.

In the beginning, Ace was as excited about his shiny new job as a kid on Christmas morning. He couldn't believe his luck when he landed a position at a top company. But then the reality hit him like a ton of bricks, or more accurately, like a never-ending pile of paperwork and endless meetings. He was working ridiculous 90-hour weeks with no benefits and zero chance of climbing the ladder. And to add insult to injury, his beloved hobby - the one thing that brought him joy and purpose - had transformed into the very anchor weighing him down in his miserable existence. Oh how the tables had turned!

This wasn't nearly good enough. To the person who came up with the cliché "just be yourself, everyone else is taken" had no fucking idea what they were talking about. Clearly, they had never met Ace before. If Ace had the opportunity to flip off the guy, he would give them a sarcastic slow clap and tell them to shove that saying up their ass. After all, being himself was about as enjoyable as watching paint dry on a Sunday afternoon. Who cared for some jobless bum lazing around in his shitty rundown apartment? He had no life, no job, no meaning. The only constants in his life were the towering stacks of unpaid bills, his messy room, and the dull headaches stress and boredom of his mundane existence. Oh joy, what a life! Honestly, if that quote were a person, it would be the poster child for failure. Poor thing.

He was three seconds away from blowing his brain out - in his imagination, that is. Never had the balls to actually go through with it, and lets be real, he probably never will. But he did have half a mind to jot down every visceral detail of the gory scene he cooked up in his demented brain. He closed his eyes, trying to picture the exact moment the life would end. Ace could practically see the vivid image, just like a high-budget horror flick: The gun pressed against his temple, blood splattered on the ground like a Jackson Pollock painting all over the walls and floor (but with less artistic intent), coating everything in a lovely shade of crimson. He felt a sick sense of satisfaction just imagining himself staring at his own blood pouring from the newly formed crater in his cranium. Ah, suicide- such a dramatic and romantic way to end to his terribly average life.

Fuck, he wanted to die so badly, to just… never wake up again. If only God’d be so generous as to take care of that for him (if he’d even existed in the first place). So much for divine intervention.

Ironically enough, Ace hated- no despised pain. He would rather listen to nails on a chalkboard for an hour straight than experience even the slightest discomfort. But the thought of harming himself, the thought of slicing his skin open, watching the blood trickle down his forearm as his wounds stung, it was intoxicating. He could even taste the metallic tang just envisioning it. If only he was brave enough. If only.

In a sea of mediocrity and mundanity, there was one saving grace for him - his online alter ego. A carefully crafted version of himself that he could never achieve in the real world. Nil was his superhero identity, complete with a cape made of witty comebacks and a mask of confidence. He reveled in the attention and adoration from strangers on the internet, basking in the glory of being an extroverted, charming intellectual. But little did they know, behind the screen he was just a regular guy in his pajamas eating cereal straight from the box.

Ace, hah. Even his name was ironic. He was more like a joker, a fool destined to trick himself and others into believing he was nothing more than a waste of space. His fingers hovered over the keys, hesitating before typing out a short and sweet message.

nil_neptune Today at 10:04 AM good morning! how's life treatin' ya? any interesting dreams or what? (gif)

…yeah right. Even he had to admit, he wasn’t fooling anyone with that one. Fucking fraud is what he was. Didn’t help that he was staring totally dead-faced at the monitor either. Typing out strings of ‘lol’s and ‘lmao’s with the most deadpan stare in existence. Ace sighed, his fingers tapping frustratedly against the keys.

nil_neptune Today at 10:11 AM hey, u around? i'm about ready to implode from boredom, need someone to entertain me, ya know? haha