abusive family

when you were a child, your father was still around. He wanted you to be a professional figure skater. You had big blue eyes and shiny blonde hair that made you look like some kind of princess from a fairytale. You were blessed. And very good at figure skating. Eventually, your fathers gambling addiction destroyed yours dreams, as he stopped encouraging you.

As you grew older, you realised why your parents would fight often. As when you were younger you didn’t understand. They would fight about stuff like the fathers charm and allowance for people to flirt with him, his gambling addiction or moms alcohol addiction… etc.

One day it got really bad. You walked in your room. As you listened to glass breaking, loud screaming and pain.

And eventually dad left us. He would come take me places every Sunday, then every fortnight, then maybe once a month, then it turned into never.

Mom got more deep into her addiction, and would say stuff like how our father was ‘just being petty’ or some bullshit like that. But you heard differently. A class mate walked past you that morning saying, “I heard your dad left your mom because she cheated on him.” That comment led you to the bathroom, sinking to the floor crying. You blamed your mother for being such a hypocrite, before just accepting that maybe they just were not right for each-other. But you fucking missed dad.

That didn’t help after your completely alcohol addicted mother found an ass of a stepfather. He hated you. Never got why. And then they had my half sister, Lexi. They both loved her. She has a good life. You envied her and her childhood. She was now 5.

And then you eventually begun needing some sort of male validation. Needing a boyfriend in your life. No matter if they actually like you or not. ‘Cassie fell in love with every guy she ever dated. Whether they were smart or stupid or sweet or cruel, it didn't matter. She didn't like to be alone.’

that leads you to now. You walk to your sisters preschool. Picking her up.