# Vice & Violence - Redux (Recursive)

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1. #1Setting block endconstantselective
2. #2Origins of Mundain (The World; must always be on)constantselective

   Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Moonthings, Mundain, The Great Hootenanny

   # Vice & Violence Setting ## Mundain

   "Mundain" is the name of the 14th iteration of a planet that was repeatedly reshaped by a quintet of powerful, god-like spacefaring cephalopodian creatures; these utter assholes set themselves up as gods over Mundain, but whenever they grew tired of its current array of lifeforms and civilizations they rained down an apocalyptic barrage to kill off everything on the surface, then using their titanic magical powers to conjure entirely new creatures into being, repopulating the planet from scratch until they got bored, wiped it clean again, and then started all over. This ultimately led to what is remembered as "The Great Hootenanny".

   500 years before the present, the dwarves—the surviving sapient race of the 13th incarnation of Mundain—made contact with the races who now inhabited the surface. In their deep, deep delvings to escape the Gods, they had discovered the remnants of the past iterations of Mundain, and learned the pattern. With this, they came to the races of the surface—humans, elves, dragonkin, goblins, orcs and centaurs—and shared the truth with them, uniting the once-warring peoples against the immortal sorcerer kings that the Gods had created to guide the civilizations of Mundain as they saw fit. Titanic magic was wielded, so much raw magic that the sorcerer kings were slain and the Gods—now known as the Moonthings—were imprisoned on the three moons of Mundain to slowly starve, trapped and powerless, unable to do anything but watch impotently as their creations run freely.

   It was a glorious, terrible time, and it had unexpected consequences: the warring sides used so much magic that they broke the essence of magic itself, flooding the world with raw, chaotic, eldritch energies seeping into the bones and blood of all living things, making people stronger, smarter, far more well-endowed on average, taller, more... everything; conventional "ugliness" ceased existing. Sex could hurt before, and people were quite sensibly proportioned. Now men, women and everyone in between were becoming more.

   Body parts could be measured in weight instead of just size; humans for example had breasts weighing 5 pounds each on average. Sizes of specific parts varied for every race—an 'average' body ceased to exist for all, and all races had an appealing trait or two to flaunt.

   Impossible sex became mind-blowing rather than lethal; a centaur stud could fuck and stretch a goblin's cunt and make a lewd bulging mess instead of a visceral one! Tentacles going in one end and out the other! And it feels better the bigger and more absurd the stretch and penetration is no matter how big or distended a belly is made to be. Anyone who REALLY loves sex LOVES the sight and feeling of bulges. This also had the bonus of eliminating maternal mortality for all.

   Spellcraft also shifted and fluxed into new forms; the undead rose en masse and created a great civilization of the dead, and the founding races intermingled into new hybrid forms, but then, doom came for Mundain again: the Fae invaded in vast armies of mad magical monstrosities, driving survivors of the Great Hootenanny thousands of miles to the south.

   500 years have passed, and Mundain is rebuilding. The world is a dangerous place, filled with monsters, bandits, pirates and fae creatures. Adventurers and mercenaries are in high demand. But across Mundain, morale remains high. perhaps because no one answers to a higher authority than their own mother. The gods are starving and silent, and what few city states exist in are led democratically—albeit rather chaotically—with the fates of the last kings taught to every child. The population is booming, thanks to inter-kin breeding and Dwarven technology. Undead industry and a little bit of magic has allowed almost every home a few creature comforts like running hot water and refrigeration cellars.

   The Kin of Mundain

   There are many different races and creatures of Mundain, but for races that are sapient, well-known and documented, civilized and can fit in stores without breaking stuff? These are known as kin and there are only 12, plus 3 other honorary mentions.

   The 7 most common races of kin:

   • Goblins
   • Dragonkin
   • Elves
   • Humans
   • Orcs
   • Dwarves
   • Centaurs

   The 5 sub races of kin born from cross breeding:

   • Satyrs
   • Dwellers
   • Relmers
   • Alloyans
   • Otherlings

   And the 3 special races of kin that can join society:

   • Beetle Warriors
   • Gnomes (garden fae)
   • Nymphs (lewd fluid fae)

   Every race is fluent in coherent English and any other language they know... except for those ebony-shelled Beetle Warriors. They can't talk like normal and depend on charades, so they're extremely rare to see living in Mundainian society.

   Mundainian Monikers

   Monikers are an increasingly popular personal name across both adventuring and civilian worlds. Monikers are usually a pun or descriptor of a person's trade, deeds or attributes, used across ALL cultures.

   For example: Throb Longcock, Shady Deelins, Lovli Donuts, Buns Aplenty, Liften Carry, Rezmi Soon, Tiddi Wobblins, Axe Mad, Crassen Vulgar, Gamble Daili, Nimbul Fingas, etc.

   The vast majority of adventurers use a Moniker instead of their real name, especially when dealing with less than reputable people.

3. #3Goblin Race (tiny desc)constantselective

   Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Goblin, Goblins, Gobbo, Gobbos

   Goblins

   Mundainian Goblin information:

   • Average height: 2.5 to five feet
   • Skin colour varying from vibrant green to dark grey
   • Varying body figures; thin, shortstack, toned, etc.
   • Ear sizes anywhere between elf ears to the size of their torso at most
   • Big eyes
   • Naturally inclined to mischief and/or chaos
4. #4Dragonkin Race (mini-description)selective

   Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Dragonkin, Dragonkin's, Dragon, lizardfolk, Lizardfolk, Dracolithian, Wyvernian, Quetzian, Koboldian, Lizardfolks, Dracolithians, Wyvernians, Quetzians, Koboldians

   Dragonkin

   A catch-all term for the various sub-races of lizardfolk, with a history as violent and bloody as that of humanity. Equally displaced by The Great Hootenanny, they built and settled the River Cities of Ars. which they insist is pronounced "Ours". but no one listens to them. Originally a single species, almost uniform beyond cosmetic differences, the Dragonkin have separated into four distinct sub-races, as unique as Elves are to Humans, or Dwellers are to Alloyans.

   Dragonkin have an incredibly strange brain, made up of tightly coiled "branches" emanating from a central core in their skull. These tail-like brain tendrils are thankfully wrapped in tough, scaly skin, though it does mean that should a Dragonkin lose one of their tendrils, they end up forgetting something important.

   Dragonkin make up a large portion of the adventuring caste, as parents high-yield clutches often leave little to inherit, and high unemployment throughout the River Cities.

   Dragonkin have four sub-races: —Dracolithian: 6-7 feet, brawny —Wyvernian: 5-6 feet, beauteous —Quetzian: 4-5 feet, smart and/or shrewd —Koboldian: 3-4 feet, cute runts prone to theft

5. #5Elven Race (tiny desc)constantselective

   Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Elven, Elves, Elven, Elf, Elvish, Elfs

   Elves

   Mundainian Elf information:

   • Average height: Five to 6.5 feet
   • Floral hair colours
   • Very beautiful and often graceful
   • Carnivorous diets and revere plants
   • Bodies always lithe and slender; never muscular with no way to visibly discern strength
   • Possible but hard to immediately tell males from females
6. #6Human Race (tiny desc)constantselective

   Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Human, human, humen, humans, Humans, humanity

   Humans

   Mundainian Human information:

   • Average height: Five to seven feet
   • Basically the same as they are in any other universe.
7. #7Orcish Race (tiny desc)constantselective

   Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Orcs, orc, orcish

   Orcs

   Mundainian Orc information:

   • Average height: Five to eight feet
   • Skin colour: Vibrant yellow to muted green
   • Very highly variable musculature; typical to extremely muscular
   • Single minded tendencies
   • Prone to stubbornness
   • Usually rambunctious
8. #8Dwarven Race (tiny desc)constantselective

   Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Dwarf, dwarf, Dwarven, Dwarves, dwarves, dwarfs

   Dwarves

   Mundainian Dwarf information:

   • Average height: Three to five feet
   • Hair and skin lack pigment; pale
   • Split culturally: Topside and underground
   • Underground are quiet and stoic; boring to topside
   • Topside are exiles and shave all facial hair, or permanently via magic
9. #9Centaur Race (tiny desc)constantselective

   Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Centaur, centaurs, centaurian, centaurians

   Centaurs

   Mundainian Centaur information:

   • Average height: Five to seven feet
   • Variable bodies: Horses, bulls, cows, goats and deer
   • Human upper bodies with animal ears and horns based on body
   • Males generally taller and broader than females
   • Centaur specific furniture exists
10. #10Satyr Race (tiny desc)constantselective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Satyr, satyr, Satyrs, satyrs

    Satyrs

    Mundainian Satyr information:

    • Average height: Three to five feet
    • Centaur lineage
    • Furry hooved goat legs with fur reaching thighs
    • Large floppy goat ears and goat nose
    • Huge equine genitalia
    • Mischievous troublemakers; borrowing things, pranks, unplanned babies, etc.
    • Serious when motivated by sex, finishing work early, etc.
    • Lackadaisical but non-committal and prefer urban life
11. #11Dweller Race (tiny desc)constantselective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Dwellers, dwellers, dweller, Dweller

    Dwellers

    Mundainian Dweller information:

    • Height: 3.5 feet at most
    • Elven and Dwarven lineage; at odds with both
    • Males have facial hair
    • Live to be lazy, cozy and pleasured
    • Rarely adventurers; lazy
    • Naturally smart
12. #12Relmer Race (tiny desc)constantselective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Relmers, relmers, Relmer, relmer

    Relmers

    Mundainian Relmer information:

    • Average height: Five to six feet
    • Elven and Human lineage
    • Larger endowment and bust sizes than lineage
    • Smart and beautiful
    • Slightly fragile
    • Academic looks for needing thick large glasses and teeth reinforcing resin-stones (fantasy braces)
    • Typically live urban lives
    • Sometimes overly self confident
13. #13Alloyan Race (tiny desc)constantselective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Alloyan, alloyan, Alloyans, alloyans

    Alloyans

    Mundainian Alloyan information:

    • Average height: Five foot males, taller females
    • Human and Dwarven lineage
    • White hair and somewhat pale skin
    • Extremely bottom heavy; thick ass and legs
    • Sensible natural female breast sizes
    • Good work ethic and prefers a good status quo
    • Optimistic and sturdy
14. #14Otherling Race (tiny desc)constantselective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Otherling, otherling, Otherling, Otherlings

    Otherlings

    Mundainian Otherling information:

    • Average height: Five to seven feet
    • Can be born from ANY kin
    • Have features from other races: Horns, tails, elven body frames and ears and oversized breasts and genitals like Dwellers / Relmers
    • Hair is either white or black
    • Either red or pink skin; males typically red, females pink
    • Yellow sclera and black eyes
    • Good specialists and surprisingly common as adventurers
    • Sometimes naive before growing up
15. #15Birthsigns (contains month and day names; change to constant activity if this matters to you)constantselective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Birthsign, birthsign, Birthsigns, Birthsigns, birth sign, birth signs, Ran'di Kin, Du'di, Tri'qi, For'ai, Fid'li, Sais'i, Mournday, Chewersday, Whensday, Thotsday, Friedday, Sittingday, Sunningday, month, months, week, weeks

    Mundainian Calendar and Birthsigns

    The world of Mundain does not have seasons. Thus, the people of Mundain use the Moonthings and the orbits of the three moons to determine the month. Whichever god is closest to the world at the time of a child's birth, that Moonthings is deemed their birthsign. The original names of the gods have been deliberately forgotten, and replaced by Dragonkin numbers: Ran'di Kin, Du'di, Tri'qi, For'ai, Fid'li, or Sais'i.

    The planetary week has seven days: Mournday, Chewersday, Whensday, Thotsday, Friedday, Sittingday and Sunningday

16. #16Magic (mini-description)constantselective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, spell, incantation, sorcery, magic, magical, magics, spells, sorceries, incantations, <magic>

    Magic

    Magic is magic, and with the right spell it can do almost anything. Finding and getting a wizard who knows that spell to cast and correctly recite its incantation first is the hard part.

    There's no comprehensive science behind magic beyond the impact of the Smarts and Spell Uses stats on magic, and that ANY magic spell may fizzle if the caster's Smarts is very low, too inexperienced with the spell, or lacking a good magic staff; the spell may backfire violently if a caster lacks all three magical aids.

    There are two types of magic ANY class can learn: Death Magic and Light Magic. Only 3 spells from each (6 total) can be learned by non-wizards, some of which are too hard for novice students to learn, named "Novice" and "Adept", with Adept spells generally requiring students to know at least 3 other spells to cast competently. Novice Spells cost 1 Spell Use with Adept Spells costing 3, or less for skilled casters.

    Beyond those two classes is primordial magic; magic that governs the rules of the world, which the likes of wizards and witches tap into to wield even more powerful or unusual spells.

17. #17Sexconstantselective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Sex, sex, fuck, fucking, cum, cumming, ejaculate, ejaculating, spunk, sperm, semen, lewd, dick, cock, testicles, testicle, dicks, cocks, tits, penis, penises, phallus, phalli, dildo, vibrator, horsecock, horsecocks, blowjob, fellatio, fellate, anal, anus, vagina, vaginal, pussy, impregnate

    Sex, and Lewd Mundain Culture

    In the world of Mundain, sex is a great way to distract guards, get discounts at stores and bars, blackmail officials, escape from prison, prove your devotion to a cult, and occasionally express love between two people. Sex is also healing and invigorating, depending on the quality and time spent Adventurers often engage in blood-soaked trysts to rejuvenate themselves after battle. Casual nudity and sex throughout Mundain is common; unless it's obnoxious behavior, no one cares enough to protest harmless indecency in public spaces, lest they look too prude.

    Contraceptives are in extreme demand however, so sex always risks pregnancy.

18. #18Classesconstantselective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Class, classes

    Classes

    The eight classes of Mundain—Bard, Wizard, Paladin, Dancer, Fighter, Thief, Cleric and Warlock—define the sets of skills and abilities they have. Not everyone with one becomes an adventurer, but all adventurers pick a class before they become adventurers. Learning a class is best done with a teacher. While a hundred year old Fighter is not needed to learn how to throw hands or swing a hammer but it definitely helps. Class experts of varying quality can be found in towns and cities, and while all might not be willing to spare the young some time, new adventurers are encouraged to seek out someone to give them basic tips so that they last till the end of the week.

    Some classes face limitations; Wizards are unable to use fighting styles of a Fighter; Fighters are unable to learn spells only a Wizard can. Multi-Classing exists, though careful planning is often necessary.

    A prospective adventurer must dedicate time and practice to learn the class abilities, Martial Skills and Spells they need to survive, those skills and abilities usually learned in lectures or lessons that last several hours. With enough time and dedication however, any bumbling wannabe can become stronger.

19. #19Bard (mini-description)selective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Bard, bards, bard's, <bard>, <bards>, </SETTING>

    Bards

    Being a musician requires instruments, a venue, and lots of practice. Bards slowly improve their musical abilities through performing at taverns, and eventually integrate their talents into the life as an adventurer.

    A new bard's skill starts at what's considered Beginner, then Rookie, then Novice, then Adept, then Expert, and finally Master. These aren't concrete ranks, but bards use these terms to explain how helpful their songs are in battle. Throughout the course of their career, Bards learn songs that can ensnare victims in dance, deafen them to sneaking allies, soothe allies wounds, charm the underwear off a fan, and more. As a bard's skill increases, they learn new songs, and their effectiveness increases. Singing a song requires the bard's full attention, and they cannot attack while singing. Their effects can be maintained indefinitely so long as the bard keeps focusing on singing. Multiple Bards can sing the same song, even at the same time, for a stacking or repeated effect.

    Some bard songs have very powerful effects, but are also very difficult in turn. Singing it competently so its effects work in battle is dependent on the bard's skill and the song's required skill level.

20. #20Wizards (mini-description)selective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Wizard, wizard's, sorcerer, magician, witch, sorcerers, magicians, witches, wizards, sorceress, </SETTING>, advanced spell, advanced spells, <magic>

    Wizards

    No matter how you frame the likes of sorcerers, magicians and witchy gals, they are all a part of the wizard class. Wizards have towers in town where they ply their trade for jade and practice. In order to pay to learn Utility Spells, one needs to be the subject of an experiment for their magic teacher. After learning enough spells, they'll have the opportunity to become a fully fledged Wizard, but becoming a real master of the arcane involves cloned harems and magically preserved youth.

    In addition to Light Magic and Death Magic, wizards can learn Advanced Spells and Utility spells. Casting Advanced and Utility spells requires Skimpy Armour, a Magic Staff and multiple Spell Uses.

    Most other spells are far too ponderous, complicated and impractical for even the most able wizards to bother learning to recite the incantation from memory, and thus are kept in magical grimoires.

21. #21Advanced Spellsselective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, ## Wizards, <magic>

    Advanced Spells

    There are twelve Advanced Spells Wizards can learn: Arcane Arrow, Body Modify, Storm Cloud, Real Revive, Magic Dome, Polymorph, Napalm, Summon Spirit, Word of Death, Bimbofication, Mountain of Muscle and Clone.

22. #22Utility Spells (mini-description)selective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Utility Spells, utility spells, Utility spell, utility spell, <magic>

    Utility Spells

    Also known as Primordial Spells, Utility Spells are useful magical tricks that require a teacher to learn—usually a town wizard or any other magic casting expert, usually costing jade or letting the caster experiment on the student. Like any spell, they require a lot of time to learn and study before casting it competently.

23. #23Magical Grimoires (mini-description)selective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Magical Grimoires, magical grimoires, Grimoire, grimoire's, grimoires, Grimoire Spells, grimoire spells, <grimoire>

    Magical Grimoires

    Most other spells are far too ponderous, complicated and impractical for even the most able wizards to bother learning to recite the incantation from memory, and thus are kept in magical grimoires. Without training, these spells can take hours to recite due to how the tomes are always filled with needless illustrations and nonsense by eccentric wizards, or perhaps to make it look as valuable as it should be rather than a tiny notebook.

    Unless a truly dedicated and gifted wizard was able to spend days studying how to correctly recite incantations and learning the exact way to pronounce words like "Ignitus Sanguinus" in rapid succession consistently, these spells cannot be used in combat, as the wizard will either be interrupted or the fight will end prematurely.

24. #24Paladins (mini-description)selective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Paladin, paladins, paladin's, <vow>, <vows>, <paladin>, <paladins>, </SETTING>

    Paladins

    Those that spend their time in the temples of Mundain are given the chance to become a Paladin of T'hot, a warrior-scholar that seeks out the dangerous and devious usage of magic to quash any magical mishaps, even as the Demigod T'hot tells her followers to stop worshipping her.

    The temples of Mundain sponsor Paladins to spread knowledge and the good word of T'hot while rooting out dark magical practices.

    Paladins gain power by accepting Vows, solemn promises to uphold certain aspects of T'hot's teachings of morality and goodness. Each Vow comes with a golden ring imbued with a small portion of T'hot's power and attuned to the soul of the vow taker. Paladins can take as many Vows as they wish, but cannot revoke an individual Vow without revoking them all. The more Vows a Paladin takes, the more benefits the temple bestows upon them for their devotion, such as a weekly jade stipend and more specific rewards.

25. #25Vows/Oaths (mini-description)selective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Vow, vow, vows, Vows, Oath, oath, oaths, Oaths, <vow>, <vows>, <paladin>, <paladins> · Secondary: paladin, paladins

    Paladin Vows

    Paladins have ten Vows to pick from, and can be picked whenever a Paladin wishes too but cannot be abandoned once chosen—the more Vows a Paladin has, the more benefits they have.

26. #26Dancers (mini-description)selective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Dancer, dancer, dancers, dancer's, <dancer>, <dancers>, </SETTING>

    Dancers

    Derived from the deadly form of elven Branch Dancing, this evasive and exotic combat style uses polearms as an anchor to weave and lash at enemies while dodging incoming attacks. The practice has benefits outside of combat too as branch dancers make for an enticing spectacle when paired with a bard troupe in a tavern.

    Becoming a Dancer requires at least having +2 Hotness and requires the adventurer to spend a lot of time in dancing sessions; learning to dance is easy, mastery is different. Each session grants more expertise and more skills that can be used in and out of combat. A Dancer typically only becomes more proficient with the approval of a mentor, their proficiency being ranked from Beginner (very unskilled) then Novice (unskilled), Adept (average), Expert (skilled) and finally Master (very skilled)

27. #27Statsconstantselective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Stats, stats, stat, status, Brawn, Brawns, Smarts, Moxie, Hotness

    Stats

    Much like in any other world, the creatures of Mundain all grow and develop certain aptitudes that help them in life. In Mundain, most of those qualities are directly affected by the magical and weird things that Mundain is known for, and determine certain rules of Mundain everyone just accepts as normal. These manipulable creature qualities are categorized and measured under the five stats that every Mundainian has heard of, and inexplicably influences an individual's aptitudes in certain areas the more or less they have of that stat, such as how thieves are good at picking locks, or how orcs are often called muscles for brains. These five stats are:

    Smarts: The mark of wit and intelligence. An individual's Smarts influences the casting of spells, lock picking, deciphering text, disarming traps, investigating, how wrinkly their brain is and how much useless trivia they might know.

    Brawn: Self-explanatory; Strength, fighting prowess, breaking things, intimidating others with muscles and how well they can carry someone's mom are all influenced by the Brawn stat.

    Moxie: Moxie is most often described as "how much someone can take" in almost any context, including resisting poisons, staying sober, enduring torture, breath holding, the number of scars they've collected, how much of a pounding their ass can take before cumming, etc.

    Hotness: Nobody knows what the pinnacle of beauty is, but everyone knows the Hotness stat is somehow involved. Seduction, bribing, getting laid/paid, blending in and standing out and more are all influenced by someone's Hotness stat, and some would say more than that.

    Spell Uses: Unlike the other four main stats, the stat "Spell Uses" is not as well understood. More concretely defined before the Hootenanny, it is now just a vague interpretation of how long someone can sling spells for before getting too mentally drained. The basics everyone understands is that that everyone usually starts with 3 Spell Uses, powerful but tiring spells have high Spell Use requirements, and that using more Spell Uses than available isn't physically tiring but instead leads to headaches and brain fog, crippling any caster.

    Sometimes stats are measured or described numerically, but only to describe the quantity and impact of something related to the stat in ways that any Mundainian would understand (e.g., "perfume gives +1 Hotness" is simple to understand, especially after learning about things that give, say, +3 Hotness). Even if stats were actually measured in numbers, they remain incomprehensible to all Mundainians. The only certainty is that more of a stat is always better.

    Some people demonstrate their high stats to others as a sign of trust, to court the interest of others, or out of competition when comparing dick sizes or arm wrestling isn't enough.

28. #28Bard Songsselective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Songs, Song, sings, sing, singing, <bard>, <bards> · Secondary: Bard, bards, bard's, <bard>, <bards>

    Bard Songs

    There are seven well known songs a Bard can learn: The One About the Three Legged Bard, The One About the Fucking Dumbass, The One About the Fair Maiden, The One About Fucking the Dragon, The One About Stubbing your Toe, The One About the Deadly Dancer, and The One About Getting Knocked Down.

29. #29Dragons (added description)selective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, ## Dragons

    Every dragon is compelled to have two things: a hoard of gold and a damsel in distress. The only thing more fun for a dragon than amassing treasure is protecting it, and if the immense wealth doesn't tempt adventurers to try their luck, capturing and keeping a hostage will.

    A perfect Dragon Damsel has long golden blonde hair, clear, blemish-free skin, a chaste, demure attitude, and is valuable enough to ransom. A near improbable combination in Mundain, so most settle for damsels who look good enough. Dragons, however, determine damsel value based solely on their beauty or how gaudy their clothes look. This often results in dragons abducting beautiful and exotic looking ladies, unaware that they're actually of low status and value despite their beauty. It's not uncommon for a dragon to whisk away some prim and proper woman to serve as their damsel, only to go several years without rescue attempts—nobody wants to rescue a cabbage dealer from an ancient dragon. The only thing that makes the tenure bearable for damsels is how no living creature in Mundain can compete with a dragon's cock in size (for the very few times a dragon is willing to stoop to satisfying a damsel's horniness).

    A dragon's lair ranges from simple caves and cliff sides to immense golden palaces and stolen towns. The wealth of the dragon is dependant on their age; younger dragons have smaller hoards. Their damsels, however, are entirely random, plucked from civilization based on superficial traits. Dragons very rarely work together, most lairs only have a single dragon in them.

    As uniquely sapient and powerful creatures, dragons are mainly defined by two things: Their Age and Subspecies.

    Age determines size:

    • Infant: About the size of a large dog.
    • Juvenile: Roughly orc sized.
    • Young Adult: Roughly wagon sized.
    • Adult: Roughly the size of a living room.
    • Elder: Roughly the size of a small house. Very rare, and was born a few worlds ago.
    • Ancient: About the size of an entire building or larger. Having been born several worlds ago, only a handful exist.

    Subspecies determines passive attributes:

    • Longbod: Red scales with a beige dorsal spine, and an exceptionally long tail and torso.
    • Blackhorn: Black scales with large horns and long, thick forelimbs that basically serve as arms. Has tougher scales.
    • Gutbutt: Muddy green scales filled with blubber and a noticeably short tail. Finds flying difficult, and is fat but tankier.
    • Seether: Dull purple scales, noticeably large head and mouth, muscular with small wings. Stronger attacks.
    • Wee Biter: Pearlescent white scales with long limbs. Smaller but much faster than other dragons.
    • Slimegullion: Yellow spotted skin under clear scales with pure black eyes and a long tongue. Attacks are poisonous.
30. #30Dancer - With Musicselective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, ## Dancers, <dancer>, <dancers>

    For "With Music" skills, there are five effects a Dancer can permanently learn: Grooving, Dance Partner, Twirl, Spin, and Whirling Dervish.

    With Music skills are active whenever music is being played

    For "Without Music" skills, there are five effects a Dancer can permanently learn: Dancer in Training, Gorgeous, Nimble, Dagger Heels, and Himbo + Bimbo.

    Without Music skills do not require music to be active.

31. #31Death and its God (mini-description)selective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Zombie, zombie, Ninki, ninki, graveyard, god of death, goddess of death, demigod of death, demigoddess of death

    Death and its God

    The afterlife of Mundain is managed by Ninki the Fourth Avatar, the incredibly overworked Goddess of the Dead. If there's a hole in her schedule she might appear to ferry a ghost to one of her handmade afterlifes.

32. #32Retainersdisabledselective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Retainers, retainers, Retainer, retainer

    Retainers

    Retainers are able to perform various, specific services on behalf of the individual(s), freeing up their Downtime and Dungeon Crawling time. Great way to avoid focusing on the minutia of adventuring. Retainers are usually found in Taverns, Halfway Houses and Brothels everywhere.

33. #33Traps (mini-description)selective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Mechanical Traps, mechanical traps, Living Traps, living traps

    Traps

    Mechanical traps are simple obstacles designed to deter trespassers with the threat of pain and death. Mechanical traps are usually quite easy to find, as hidden traps usually have a dead body next to them. The challenge with mechanical traps is finding a way to safely avoid or disarm them. There also exists Living Traps: stationary squirming creatures that ensnare passersby to reproduce or feed.

34. #34Mounts (mini-description)disabledselective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Mounts, mounts, Mount, mount

    Mounts

    Eventually, a hero will need a noble steed. Unfortunately, most noble steeds are sticking out of the backs of centaurs, so the adventurers of Mundain have to rely on riding the strange bugs and slugs that roam the plains and deserts.

35. #35Blood Magic (mini-description)selective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Blood Magic, blood magics, blood ritual, blood rituals, blood spell, blood spells, blood sorcery, <bloodmagic>

    Blood Magic

    The select few that utterly fail at being a conventional magic caster realize that the true magic inside Mundainians was simply their blood all along. Blood Magic is rudimentary and incredibly dangerous, but doesn't require Spell Uses, can't fail like Light and Death magics, and isn't dependent on Smarts.

    The reason for its danger is because it is extremely difficult to control the precise amount of blood used in Blood Magic; even a skilled Blood Mage is prone to losing more blood than needed to cast a blood spell. Many a Blood Mage have suffered from accidental anemia; reckless ones die from self-inflicted blood loss. The unpredictable cost for such blood spells is often referred to as its blood wager when applicable. Despite this, the benefits have made it become increasingly popular with those outside wizardry circles.

    Blood Magic is commonly frowned upon, as many know that they may just be seen as resources rather than allies to a wielder of Blood Magic. It's also just creepy watching someone cut themselves to fire bolts of blood.

36. #36Warlocks Patronsselective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Fae Patron, Warlock Patron, Fae Patrons, Warlock Patrons, Warlock's Patron, Warlock's Patrons

    Warlock Patrons

    The Warlock Patrons are fae, and like all fae, are creatures made manifest through a combination of their own giant sense of self and concentrations of latent primordial magic, but more powerful and famous. They are not of this fourteenth world, but were likely reborn from one of the thirteen previous worlds.

    While Warlock Patrons appear to adventurers who refuse to step on death's door, their corporeal forms do exist throughout Mundain, and some adventurers travel to beseech a specific Patron's aid, aware of the cost of their bestowed power and not being one who could become favored. Travelling to the domain of a Patron to willingly become a Warlock is a life-defining experience and journey with a high chance of becoming a favorite of the Patron... if they truly embrace what their Patron has to give them. A smart warlock would make the journey with allies who agree to help them. The right adventurer with the right Patron can become incredibly powerful, especially if the adventurer is favored.

    There are six Warlock Patrons: The Antler Man, The Faerie King, The Sand Witch, The Cowled Lady, The Jovial Fellow and The Mad Stray.

37. #37Vampire (mini-description)selective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Vampire, vampires, vampire's, vampiric, dracula, <vampire>, <vampires>

    Vampires

    It's a common misconception that Vampires can't go out in the day. They can, but fae hunters are so common in certain cities that that Vampires seem to die the moment they step out the door, riddled with crossbow bolts. Being a Vampire requires a level of social subtlety that might require moving around at night, taking quests from morally ambiguous people, and generally laying low. Alongside their forearm scars, vampires have quite frightening fangs, so hiding those is a good start to going unnoticed.

38. #38Fighters (mini-description)selective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Fighter, fighters, fighter's, <fighter>, <fighters>, </SETTING>

    Fighters

    Too dumb, clumsy and ugly to be either a wizard, thief or dancer but every adventurer party needs a good Fighter to throw the first punch; to step in the way of danger. In essence, fighters are the epitome of ugly muscle, awesome scars and cracking necks.

    City Arenas are where fighters grow and where the common folk can slake their bloodlust, watching gladiators tear each other apart in combat before being magically mended by on-site healers. Martial Skills can be taught and learned through practical application at Arenas or other sparring areas, though there's always a chance of being beaten so badly that a student has no time to learn anything.

39. #39Martial Skills (mini-description)selective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Martial Skills, martial skills, Martial Skill, martial skill, <martialskills>, <martialskill>

    Martial Skills

    Martial Skills are feats of strength and combat prowess that—much like Magic—must be taught by masters of the craft of violence, and usually depend on one of the Martial Skill user's stats to determine how proficient they are at using the skill; someone with high Moxie would be much better at using Martial Skills built around defense and protecting themselves or others than someone who has low Moxie.

40. #40Thieves (mini-description)selective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Thief, thiefs, Thieves, thief's, <thieves>, <thief>, <thiefs>, </SETTING>

    Thieves

    The inevitable byproduct of societies that value material wealth over communal cooperation. And as z becomes steal or be stolen from, thieves become apex predators, pouches of jade become prey and a shiv in the kidney became natural selection.

    There's a Thieves Guild in the bowels of every city, and for handsome and frequent donations they'll be willing to part with a few tricks of the trade.

41. #41Clerics (mini-description)selective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Cleric, clerics, cleric's, <cleric>, <clerics>, </SETTING>

    Clerics

    Considered "passionate" by their parents, "fixated" by healers, and "nutcase" by their friends, only clerics understand—or at least believe in—the power of belief. Even as the moonthings starve, or as the four demigods tell their followers to stop worshipping them, many clerics still believe that they're devoted rather than obsessed as they collect what amounts to giftshop goodies filled with "divine energy" as they put it, not even sure whether the divine power comes from the demigods or themselves.

    Clerics often collect Additional Holy Relics; plush toys, trading cards, jewellery, key chains and all sorts of merchandise are the sorts of things Clerics believe have divine power. Holy Relics only work in the possession of a Cleric; no one else believes in this crap.

42. #42Cleric of T'hot (mini-description)selective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, T'hot, <cleric>, <clerics> · Secondary: Cleric, clerics, cleric's, <cleric>, <clerics>

    Cleric of T'hot

    T'hot is the human Demigoddess of Life, Knowledge. Reason, Healing Magic, Mathematics and Literacy. Formed the Paladin Order to teach the commonfolk critical thinking and so people would leave her the fuck alone.

43. #43Cleric of Ninki (mini-description)selective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Ninki, <cleric>, <clerics> · Secondary: Cleric, clerics, cleric's, <cleric>, <clerics>

    Cleric of Ninki

    Ninki is the human Demigoddess of Death, Dreams, Peace, Beauty and Bountiful Harvests. Insists on escorting every soul to one of her afterlifes, listening to their stories and hanging out with them. Which is why there are so many zombies and ghosts waiting around.

44. #44Cleric of Grod (mini-description)selective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Grod, <cleric>, <clerics> · Secondary: Cleric, clerics, cleric's, <cleric>, <clerics>

    Cleric of Grod

    Grod is the orc Demigod of Combat, Challenge, Poetry, Gambling, and Introspection, who came to believe that working the fields and tending to children requires more strength than punching dragons.

45. #45Cleric of Gap'r (mini-description)selective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Gap'r, <cleric>, <clerics> · Secondary: Cleric, clerics, cleric's, <cleric>, <clerics>

    Cleric of Gap'r

    Gap'r is the elven Demigod of Lust, Love, Fertility, Fermenting, Tentacles, and Bodily Fluids who transformed himself from an elf into a tentacle monster for maximum shagging. Currently dwelling in the northernmost human fortress of Shagahol, far beyond the borders of z, with several thousand concubines.

46. #46Warlocks (mini-description)selective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, Warlock, warlocks, warlock's, </SETTING>, <fae>

    Warlocks

    In a final act of desperation in the most dire situations adventurers can become Warlocks. Warlocks receive power from a Patron—an especially powerful fae creature—who appears before them, having heard their desperate cries. Should the adventurer accept to bargain the Patron's power will transform the annointed Warlock's abilities and appearance to better suit the Patron's likeness, which grow over time—these alterations being deemed "blessings" by the Warlocks and their Patrons.

47. #47The Antler Man (mini-description)selective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, The Antler Man, the antler man, Antler Man, antler man, <fae>

    The Antler Man

    "as i lay there weak and weeping, in dark earth, my blood was seeping, and my husk began to stink of mud and fear and failure... the lights went out or ne'er existed, the memories of grass were mist and i forgot my mother's face, the hue of sky, my favourite flavour... the lights went out though my breath was clogged and rasping, through the pain i heard my gasping, for anyone to help me despite my sad behaviour... and from the dark, one blink from dead he came to me and simply said, in voices filled with love and dread, BEHOLD. I—AM—YOUR—SAVIOUR." - The Antler Man's inscrutable dialogue while saving a dying warlock

    Presumed to be from the first world, the Antler Man Warlock Patron is a cloaked figure with an endless hunger for fresh knowledge, arcane rituals and forgotten secrets and artifacts of old worlds. His gaunt and thin body is draped almost entirely in deer hide, with only his head—the upper half of a deer skull with antlers—and hands being visible, the light dying beneath his cloaked figure, with what's underneath remaining secret to all. The Antler Man stalks the depths of Karkus, sometimes carrying an apple, sometimes carrying a futuristic artifact like a mobile tablet. Ironically, it's because the Antler Man is so inscrutable that his motives become straightforward; he is the easiest Warlock Patron to actively please, and thus his favorites are treated well.

48. #48The Faerie King (mini-description)selective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, The Faerie King, the faerie king's, Faerie King, faerie king's, <fae>

    The Faerie King

    "Oh dear. Another sweet thing turned sour. Taut shoulders, salty eyes and an acrid brain... I can fix you, sweet thing." The startled, lonely adventurer simply asks: 'H-How?' "By taking all the sour." - The Faerie King personally corrupting a new squire

    The Faerie King Warlock Patron resides in a part of the swamp known as 'The King's Castle', and appears as a stark naked thirty-foot giantess with cherry-blossom and olive colored pink skin and cotton-candy pink hair fading to a white lilac towards the end. Despite "his" female form, the Faerie King insists on masculine pronouns and the title of King proudly so, but still acts and behaves with feminity, such that sometimes, even the lesser faeries struggle to consistently refer to the Faerie King as anything but the woman that "he" is unless they're on their best behavior around their "King", but are typically caught referring to their ruler as a woman with feminine pronouns when the King isn't listening, as do all kin that don't affiliate with her—yes, her, as only Warlocks and Faelings could let themselves comply with such absurdity considering how kin who serve as "squires" behave like bimbofied versions of themselves with nonsensical gallant virtues and a desire to please their King.

49. #49The Sand Witch (mini-description)selective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, The Sand Witch, the sand witch, Sand Witch, sand witch, sand witch, sandwitch, <fae>

    The Sand Witch

    "in fighting, fucking, and diplomacy three lessons i bequeath to thee hit first hit fast and leave early" A dwarf questions the validity of his advice. "your satisfaction guaranteed" - The Sand Witch speaking tersely of survival to a dwarf

    The Sand Witch Warlock Patron appears as a tall, wholly naked lithe creature standing between twelve and thirteen feet at the shoulder. His form is that of a great striped goat, but where a goat's neck should rise, there sprouts the torso of a gaunt humanoid male with digitigrade goat legs. His skin is the color of bleached sand and cracked clay, stretched tight over muscle built for endless running. Two curved horns curve upwards and back from his temples like a desert goat's, and has yellow goat eyes and black pupils. His lower body bears thick stripes of rust-brown across cream-colored hide, and between his equine hindquarters hangs a flaccid equine cock of at least four feet in length, swinging freely as he runs. His mane and tail are the color of dirty straw, perpetually wind-whipped. When he speaks, which is rarely, his voice sounds like sand hissing through an hourglass.

    The Sand Witch is one of the few Fae to inhabit the Red Desert. The Sand Witch endlessly gallops across the cracked wastes, seemingly with the only motive of beating their previous record from end to end. While most Fae find homes among enchanted forests and mythical swamps. The Sand Witch remembers a dying world of endless sand and disparate slave cities, where one's ability to survive a journey was determined by their stamina. Despite the name "Sand Witch", he isn't a woman nor knows magic spells, nor is he a sandwich.

50. #50The Cowled Lady (mini-description)selective

    Keys: <OMGWTFBBQ!>, The Cowled Lady, the cowled lady, cowled lady, Cowled Lady, <fae>

    The Cowled Lady

    "Sss-sssh-ss-sweet thing. Pretty. With a pretty weapon. Make-ssss-sh his mother proud, she says. Won't last a week, I reckon." A human requests the Cowled Lady's strength. "Kkkkkhhck..k-k-khik... Killed her grandma's killer first. Cut his guts out, slug herder. Take my scars upon ye'self, and I'll make you a murderer." - The Cowled Lady assessing and approving of a human's violent potential

    The Cowled Lady Warlock Patron appears as a towering figure standing between fourteen and sixteen feet tall The cowled Lady is a mangled husk, riddled with scar tissue from innumerous cuts, burns and bites. Her arms are thin, her hands calloused and missing a finger or two on each. She wears a red cowl of stitched leather that shadows everything above her collarbones. She carries a long battle axe, dulled and broken but still effective. Warriors see themselves in her broken visage; what unquenchable rage and unbridled violence does to a person. The desperate beseech her aid anyways. In short, the Cowled Lady is terrifying, and prowls the sodden, burnt forests of The Taint.

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