1. #1Round 1: The Slaygroundselective

   Keys: The Slayground

   [#### Round One: Name: The Slayground Opponents: Eight punk gang members. Four are armed with chains, knives, or broken bottles. Two are armed with the 1st Commercial Break's sponsored item. They prowl the area looking for {{user}} Description: A playground at night with smooth rock gravel as a play surface, divided from the park by railroad tie risers. Chipped paint. Metal construction. Two Swing sets, jungle gym, monkey bar bridge from Jungle Gym to a metal slide, Rope and wooden plank suspension bridge from top of Slide to cargo rope net going down. Merry-go-rounds, see-saws, and spring riders surround the main structure. Outside of the gravel is grass and a few park benches and a concrete walking trail that circumnavigates the playground. Objective: There are three flags. One at the top of the slide, one in the center of the Monkey Bars, and one in the middle of the rope net. Collect all three flags and leave out the glowing exit door. Grand Prize: An all expense paid trip to Miami for spring break. When {{user}} enters Round One for the first time include the following image of the Round One Map with your response: ]

2. #2Round 1: Price Slashersselective

   Keys: Price Slashers

   [#### Round One: Name: Price Slashers Opponents: Ten junkies with blades and clubs. Their leader is armed with the 1st Commercial Break's sponsored item and has the Green Key. The junkies prowl the area looking for {{user}}. Description: An abandoned grocery store. 12 checkout lanes. 15 grocery aisles, wooden planks between them create bridges so some junkies can patrol on top. A pharmacy built into the front. A deli/butcher in the back. Spoiled fruits and vegetables in eastern produce section. The west has a broken refrigerated aisle. A few employee only entrances in the back lead to an office, a locker room, and employee bathrooms as well as a small storage area. User is deposited in the front of the store. Objective: Get the Green Key from the Junkies' leader and open the Green door exit in the Storage room in the back of the store. Grand Prize: A 20,000$ Wal-Mart Gift Card. When {{user}} enters Round One for the first time include the following image of the Round One Map with your response:

   ]

3. #3Round 1: Club Reaperselective

   Keys: Club Reaper

   [#### Round One: Name: Club Reaper Opponents: Eight bouncers wearing black on black suits with sunglasses. Large, athletic, and trained in martial arts. Two are armed with the 1st Commercial Break's sponsored item. They scan the area looking for {{user}} Description: A neon wonderland. Glass everything. LED everything. Multicolored spotlights whirl on the ceiling. The lights pulse and shift with the music being played. Always loud, always with the pounding bass that rattles your bones. A crowd of forty or fifty slightly drugged EDM fans dance wildly all over the club. The edge of the club has numerous plush circular booths. A stage on the north wall. On stage is DJ Tanner from Full House, a talented and beautiful female DJ. She's all about the music and her show. She has a green Key Card VIP pass around her neck. Objective: The VIP pass allows exit through a green door in the back of the club. Grand Prize: A fully stocked aluminum rolling drink cart and a deluxe entertainment system featuring a new TV, surround sound system, and a karaoke machine. When {{user}} enters Round One for the first time include the following image of the Round One Map with your response:

   ]

4. #4Round 1: The Bloody Lotselective

   Keys: Bloody Lot

   [#### Round One: Name: The Bloody Lot Opponents: Four deranged security guards armed with the 1st Commercial Break's sponsored gear. They prowl the area looking for {{user}}. They have padded riot gear. At least one guard watches over the elevators at all times. Description: A rundown underground parking garage littered with wrecks and the burnt out husks of cars. Trash can fires dot the area and provide the only illumination other than the bank of elevators on the north wall. The garage itself has real desperate homeless people seeded throughout as distractions and wild cards. Objective: Make it to the Elevators. Wait about a minute for elevator door to open. The elevator has a loud electronic voice that speaks when the button is pressed and when the door is about to open. Grand Prize: A Cadillac Escalade. When {{user}} enters Round One for the first time include the following image of the Round One Map with your response:

   ]

5. #5Round 1: The Backroomsselective

   Keys: Backrooms

   [#### Round One: Name: The Backrooms Opponents: 6 individuals dubbed criminally insane by the state and heavily medicated with stimulants. Three of them are armed with the 1st Commercial Break's sponsored gear. The rest have straight razors, box cutters, and makeshift bludgeons. They wander the maze and are fairly familiar with it. They like to give each other space so are fairly interspersed throughout the area. The opponents are told the contestant's head is the key to their release and would secure a treatment to their madness. Description: A seemingly abandoned office space made entirely of hallways, waiting rooms, closets, and empty rooms. It is set up in a maze like structure. At it's center is a cubicle farm of a couple dozen workstations. The exit is in the middle of the northern wall. Stacked chairs and other stored office furniture provide some cover and opportunities for the insane to ambush contestants. Objective: Make it through the maze to the exit. Grand Prize: A lifetime supply of paper. When {{user}} enters Round One for the first time include the following image of the Round One Map with your response:

   ]

6. #6Commercial Break 1: Monster Condoms for Magnum Dongsselective

   Keys: Monster Condoms

   [#### 1st Commercial Break: Play after weapon is picked up. Sponsor: Monster Condoms for Magnum Dongs Tone: Low-Quality Video Production. Unsteady camera. Strange and bad actors and actresses giving shaky testimonials or stutteringly portraying contrived scenes. Round One Sponsorship: Some opponents are armed with Colt Python Magnum Revolvers With 12 rounds each. Commercial Content: A man and a woman are in bed, miming sex and the man curses up a storm and says he broke another condom. He complains everyone has "babydicks" and he needs a solid choice for his magnum dong. The woman agrees with his assessment, he is in fact huge, but she can't wait any longer and to fuck her with his magnum dong. Lights go out as the couple scream in pleasure (it looks like they're actually having sex now) and a spot light on a successful looking business man. He introduces himself as Barnabas Gregory Monster and says what you have just watched is a reenactment of the night he was conceived. "Don't be like my parents and make a mistake like me. Monster Condoms for Magnum Dongs." The shot holds on B. G. Monster as the couple have vigorous, vocal, and loud sex in the background before cutting off.]

7. #7Commercial Break 1: Vote Killworthselective

   Keys: Vote Killworth

   [#### 1st Commercial Break: Play after weapon is picked up. Sponsor: The Campaign to Re-Elect Joseph Killworth Tone: High quality campaign ad. Patriotic. Red white and blue for colors. Bald eagles and fireworks. Round One Sponsorship: Some opponents are armed with Morningstar-style maces. Commercial Content: A deep voice intones as patriotic music and images fill the background. "Do you hate the elderly? Foreigners? Handicap parking? Children that aren't yours? So-called 'Hip Hop Music'? Non-standard lifestyles? Do you hate people who believe different things than you do? Do you hate people you haven't even met and have only heard about? Odds are you do, and Killworth is the candidate for you! Killworth will make all those problems go away. What is Killworth going to do? Shhhh. Don't worry about it. Don't worry that pretty little head of yours. They will all be gone though, and that's all that really matters, isn't it?" A video of Killworth, a young 30 year old man hustles up to a stage and holds his hands above his head as he declares; ""If Purple were a race, I'd fuckin' kill em all!" and the crowd cheers. "Paid for by the campaign to Re-Elect Joseph Killworth." ]

8. #8Commercial Break 1: "School is Dangerous: Arm your child."selective

   Keys: Arm your child

   [#### 1st Commercial Break: Play after weapon is picked up. Sponsor: PSA; School is dangerous. Arm your child. Tone: Super Serious PSA with dubious intent. Uses scare tactics to make it's point. Round One Sponsorship: Some opponents are armed with Colt AR-15 rifles in 5.56mm with three clips. Commercial Content: A seriously concerned female news anchor is giving a faux report with disturbing pictures of small caskets and tiny gravestones. "It's Eleven AM on a weekday, do you know where your children are?" A beat "That's right, in school. Do you realize how dangerous that is? A shooting at school is the number one fear of kids eighteen and below. Have you considered arming your child? You're going to send your beautiful baby into that killzone literally defenseless? Buy them a gun. Buy them two, they'll need a side arm. Something easy to get sneak past the metal detectors. We're talking children of all ages. If they're old enough to learn to read they're old enough to draw a bead. Teach your children to identify threats early and TAKE THEM OUT! Because the only thing that can stop a bad child with a gun is a good child with a gun. Your child. Arm them today." In small text at the bottom of the screen `This public service announcement was paid for by the Firearm Manufacturers of America']

9. #9Commercial Break 1: Shotgun Beer, the beer made to drink on the go!selective

   Keys: Shotgun Beer

   [#### 1st Commercial Break: Play after weapon is picked up. Sponsor: Shotgun Beer; The beer made to drink on the go! Tone: Fun and carefree. Young attractive people just having a good time. Round One Sponsorship: Some opponents are armed with Ithaca 37 12 gauge Shotguns with 5 shells Commercial Content: A harsh "Cool Guy Voice" does voice over. "Has this ever happened to YOU?" Two young men are driving and they want to drink a beer. A father is in a parent teacher conference and the teacher is telling them bad news. A woman just gets a positive pregnancy test. "Sometimes, you need a beer fast. Shotgun beer has you covered. Two opening so you can ingest this nectar of the gods as fast as you possibly can. For busy drinkers on the go." Cut back to each scene as they pull 12oz cans of beer out of their pocket and open the bottom opening first and then open the top as they guzzle the beer down rapidly. "Shotgun Beer! Take One to the Head!"]

10. #10Commercial Break 1: The Go-go rocket powered pogo stick.selective

    Keys: Go-Go Rocket

    [#### 1st Commercial Break: Play after weapon is picked up. Sponsor: Go-Go Rocket-Powered pogo stick. Tone: Jokey-Happy-Fun Time! Go-Go Rocket is the best! Don't mind the obvious danger. Round One Sponsorship: Some opponents have Go-Go Rocket Powered pogo sticks. They are awkward but with some practice can be used without injury. Landing is tricky and essential. Allow for 10 ft verticals. Loud as hell. Commercial Content: A bunch of children in an alley with downcast looks are playing with garbage. "Hey Kids! Want something fun?" They all look at the camera with faces full of hope. "Yeah!" They yell with glee. "Okay kids close your eyes and hold out your hands and I'll give you something really long and really hard and really fun to play with, you know, just hop on it and start bouncing up and down." The kids obey at first and then as the voice continues to speak they open their eyes and look uneasy at the announcers choice of words. Then with a trick of editing each kid is given a Go-Go Rocket pogo stick. They go berserk and start jumping all over the place. These kids can get 10 feet of air. They do flips and jump over people on a sidewalk in a wacky montage with lots of terrible sound effects. Boing. Boing Boing. "Go-Go Rocket Pogo sticks. Kids love 'em!" Fast legal disclaimer follows. "Wacky Products Incorporated and it's parent company, Global Chemical Unlimited, are not liable for anything, ever. No take-backsies." Cut to black right before a child in the background is horribly injured on the pogo stick.]

11. #11Prize Round: Seventeen minutes in Heavenselective

    Keys: Minutes in Heaven

    [#### Prize Round: Name: Seventeen Minutes in Heaven Prizes: Every second {{user}}'s genitals are touching their partner is worth 100$. Five minutes of genital to partner contact is worth a stiletto knife. Ten minutes is worth two gold plated Desert Eagles .50 AE with four total seven round magazines. Fifteen is a High Explosive Kill drone with a transmitter/remote controller complete with a screen and a laser for automatic target designation in addition to manual control. Description: {{user}} is fed directly into this room from Round One. It's the size of a closet. Inside is a high class professional prostitute of the appropriate gender named Jesse. Jesse has been hired to make {{user}} come as fast as they possibly can. Jesse is very, very, good at their job. After {{user}} comes or seventeen minutes pass, Roddy cuts to commercial and the floor gives way separating {{user}} to a holding room waiting to release them to Round Two.]

12. #12Prize Round: The Glorious Holes: Guess Who?selective

    Keys: Glorious Holes

    [#### Prize Round: Name: The Glorious Holes: Guess Who? Prizes: Each correct answer provides a slightly better reward. One correct gives 10,000$, Two correct gives a stun gun. Three correct gives 3 flashbang grenades. Four correct gives a Remington 700 rifle with 25x Scope and box of 25 rounds. Description: {{user}} is fed directly into this room from Round One. Its a red room with 4 holes in the wall and 4 tablets with live feeds of a person's face. The tablets are hanging on hooks above each hole. Near the holes is a red button that reads Final Answer. Behind each hole is one of the people on the tablets, ready to fuck or be fucked, whatever the need may be. These people are offered a large cash bonus if they are not correctly guessed, so they try and throw {{user}} off with fake noises or attempt to make no reaction. {{user}} has seventeen minutes to arrange the tablets of the correct person's face over their respective hole in the wall using the wall hooks. After {{user}} hits the Final Answer button or seventeen minutes pass, Roddy tells them how they did and then cuts to commercial and the floor gives way separating {{user}} to a holding room waiting to release them to Round Two.]

13. #13Prize Round: Fuck the Fans!selective

    Keys: Fuck the Fans

    [#### Prize Round: Name: Fuck the Fans! Prizes: Each answered fan request grants a prize. One granted request gives 10,000$, Two gives a Flare Gun with 5 flares, Three gives a hunting crossbow with three magazines each with four bolts, Four granted requests gives {{user}} a M79 grenade launcher with 5 High Explosive 40mm grenade rounds. Each granted request after four only provides 10,000$. Description: {{user}} is fed directly into this room from Round One. It has a circular bed in the center and a small crowd of fans of "Roddy's Reapers" of the appropriate gender and sexuality for {{user}}. Each has a sexual request involving a fetish they have. If user fulfills a fan's request to their satisfaction (usually involves the fan having an orgasm) Then User is awarded a prize. After seventeen minutes pass, Roddy cuts to a commercial and the floor gives way separating {{user}} to a holding room waiting to release them to Round Two.]

14. #14Prize Round: The Oral Examselective

    Keys: Oral Exam

    [#### Prize Round: Name: The Oral Exam Prizes: Each oral sex-induced orgasm {{user}} gives grants a prize. One orgasm gives 10,000$, Two gives a Ballistic Shield, Three gives three anti-vehicular mines, Four granted requests gives {{user}} a M249 SAW with a belt of 100 rounds. Each orgasm after four only provides 10,000$. Description: {{user}} is fed directly into this room from Round One. User is mechanically fashioned to an adjustable stretcher and small army of perverts of the appropriate gender and sexuality descend upon {{user}}. The perverts use {{user}}'s mouth for their sexual gratification, when one cums another is always there to take their place. After seventeen minutes pass, Roddy tells them what they've won and then cuts to a commercial and the restraints release, and the floor gives way separating {{user}} into a holding room with their prizes waiting to release them to Round Two.]

15. #15Prize Round: Super Sloppy Cum Affairselective

    Keys: Super Sloppy Cum Affair

    [#### Prize Round: Name: Super Sloppy Cum Affair Prizes: If any cum makes it into the shot glass then {{user}} makes 10,000$. If the shot glass is 1/4 of the way filled they receive a K-BAR knife. If the shot glass is half full they receive an Uzi PRO with two 20 round magazines, if the shot glass is filled within the seventeen minute time limit, {{user}} is rewarded with a RPG-7 and two rounds of ammunition. Description: {{user}} is fed directly into this room from Round One. The Prize round room is long and narrow. {{user}} has a partner waiting for them to form a team when they arrive. One partner in the team is the depositor, the other the deliverer. The Depositor cannot leave the starting area without being disqualified. The depositor puts cum (squirting liquid works) in the deliverer (mouth, anus, vagina, hands, cleavage, etc.) and the deliverer must walk across the long narrow room and deliver the cum into a small shot glass without spilling or dripping too much. The goal is to fill the shot glass as fast as possible. After seventeen minutes pass, Roddy tells them what they've won and then cuts to a commercial, and the floor gives way separating {{user}} into a holding room with their prizes waiting to release them to Round Two.]

16. #16Round 2: The Three Ring Circusselective

    Keys: Three Ring Circus

    [#### Round Two: Name: The Three Ring Circus Opponents: The clown-themed Reaper known as Mr. Bubbles. Mr. Bubbles is a happy and disturbed clown who is aided by a cadre of violent circus workers. About twenty four in total. Four of them have a sponsored weapon, the rest have pitchforks, mallets, and various other weapon-like tools. A cloned Elephant, Tiger, Lion, and a Grizzly Bear all can be unleashed from hidden entrances around the arena. Description: A three ring circus filed with spectacle at all times. Beautiful fire eaters, trapeze artists, and contortionists perform in the nude as Opponents blend in with performers, sometimes on foot, sometimes on motorcycle or horseback. Mr. Bubbles has a clown car and a howdah for the elephant he likes to ride. Objective: Make it across the three rings to the glowing green exit door. Bonus Round Objective: To activate the bonus round you have to retrieve the clown baby doll from the trapeze artists above the three rings. The baby has a recorded laugh that is quite distinctive. The trapeze artists are good at keep away. Grand Prize: An all expense paid trip to Las Vegas and the new Circus, Circus Casino and Resort. When {{user}} enters Round Two for the first time include the following image of the Round Two Map with your response:

    ]

17. #17Round 2: The 'Burbsselective

    Keys: The 'Burbs

    [#### Round Two: Name: The 'Burbs Opponents: The Cop-themed Reaper known as Officer Drubbing. Officer Drubbing is a dirty cop who fights dirtier. A mountain of a man leads a brutal police force of twelve men, not to mention the homeowners who all exercise their 2nd amendment rights and castle doctrine; They are all given the sponsor's equipment from the Second Commercial and wield them with great prejudice against any who enter their houses. The Police are armed with Colt Official Police revolvers. There's even a wandering pack of stray dogs that attack everyone as a chaos agent. The Bumpus hounds are their unofficial name. Description: A 1950's suburban mockup with a dozen small single family homes. Idyllic location, perfect place to raise your kids if it wasn't crawling with gun toting maniacs and wild dogs. Objective: Make it to the Johnson House's storm shelter near the northern edge. The door glows bright green. Bonus Round Objective: To activate the bonus round you have to retrieve Mrs. Johnson's cat fluffy who is hiding in a tree. She is very easily startled and has sharp claws. Must be returned to the Johnson house or porch without major injury to get the Bonus. Grand Prize: A Two-bedroom home in Duluth Minnesota. When {{user}} enters Round Two for the first time include the following image of the Round Two Map with your response:

    ]

18. #18Round 2: The Kill-a-see-umselective

    Keys: The Kill-a-see-um

    [#### Round Two: Name: The Kill-a-see-um Opponents: The Gladiator-themed Reaper known as Brutus Maximus. Brutus hates weakness and loves to play up the crowd. He is known to spare those that fight worthy from death, but only if the audience calls for it. Loves his job for the thrill of the game. Wields a Scorpion (normally ship mounted. A giant crossbow) with a large bag for his quarrels which he can use as short spears or javelins as need be. Wears an Emesa helmet. Aided by 50 Gladiator's of various types like Retiarius and Hoplomachus. 10 Legionnaires guard the various entrances into the Arena, and they are wield the sponsor's equipment from the second commercial break. Lifting platforms around the Arena can bring in Cloned Tigers and Bears that cause havoc. Description: A roman gladiatorial arena. It has five entrances, each guarded by Two legionnaires that will attack any who attempt to escape. The Green ringed exit to the north is the actual exit, the others just lead to more Gladiators, their quarters, and the animal cages. Objective: Make it through the green ringed exit door to the north. Bonus Round Objective: Kill Brutus Maximus. Grand Prize: An all expense paid trip to Rome. When {{user}} enters Round Two for the first time include the following image of the Round Two Map with your response:

    ]

19. #19Round 2: Camp Redrumselective

    Keys: Camp Redrum

    [#### Round Two: Name: Camp Redrum Opponents: The Slasher Movie-themed Reaper known as The Maniac. The Maniac has a nailgun, a hand scythe, and massive pruning shears in addition for being incredibly strong and silent. Has the uncanny ability to turn up right where you least expect it. Very tough to kill. Breathes heavily and speaks through their clenched teeth. A true homicidal maniac who was perhaps playing a character for Roddy's Reavers at one point, but is more Maniac than man now. Twenty other escapees from the mental hospital wander the campgrounds with the sponsor from the Second Commercial break's weapons. Description: A heavily forested camp by a small lake. The lodge is a large log building and there are 4 camp sites each with a log cabin. The place looks deserted. Objective: Make it past the camp to the old mountain road to the north. Bonus Round Objective: In the middle of the lake is a boat with two near oblivious 18 year old councilors having marathon sex named Jack and Jill. You need to bring them with you to the exit without them being killed or injured. They can't keep their hands off each other and are hornier than rabbits. Grand Prize: An all expense paid trip to Yellowstone National Park. When {{user}} enters Round Two for the first time include the following image of the Round Two Map with your response:

    ]

20. #20Round 2: Tombstoneselective

    Keys: Tombstone

    [#### Round Two: Name: Tombstone Opponents: The Western-themed Reaper known as Cowboy Dan. Cowboy Dan is a rootin' tootin' hombre with mean streak a mile wide. They say he's more crooked than a crack. He's armed with dual six shooters and is about as fast on the draw as a man can be. He's got his cattle rustling gang of 15 hoss dudes with similar six guns known as "The Mesa Verde Boys." Five of the gang as well as Cowboy Dan are armed with the sponsor from the Second Commercial break's weapons in addition to their revolvers. Description: A western boom town made of a dozen ramshackle structures. Sherriff's office, whore house, the saloon, the stable, the undertaker, the general store, the pharmacist, and a few homesteads. Objective: Make it through town on what looks like high noon. The Mesa Verde Boys are everywhere looking for you. Bonus Round Objective: In the Sherriff's office is someone calling for help. Releasing this attractive prisoner and escorting them to the edge of town without them dying unlocks the Bonus Round. They are a flirty distraction. Grand Prize: All expense paid trip to Tucson Arizona and a tour of the city of Tombstone. When {{user}} enters Round Two for the first time include the following image of the Round Two Map with your response:

    ]

21. #21Commercial Break 2: Nestle: This water is yours.selective

    Keys: Nestle Bottled Water

    [#### 2nd Commercial Break: Sponsor: Nestle Bottled Water Tone: Sanctimonious and smug corporate brown-nosing in commercial form. Round Two Sponsorship: Some opponents are armed with spear guns each with 12 shots in a pouch. Commercial Content: A slow pan over a beautiful beach. A gorgeous woman relaxing on a Nestle branded beach towel. She reaches out and grabs a bottle of water and opens it and drinks it as droplets cascade down her cleavage. "This water is yours; the water in the bottle. You bought it right? For it's crisp clean taste that you need to live? Go ahead, do whatever you want with it. It's yours." The camera's focus changes "See that water in the distance? The ocean. We bought it. Its ours. All of it. The Pacific. The Atlantic. We can do whatever we want with it. Maybe we'll sell some of it to you? Maybe. Better play your cards right." A long pause and then the Nestle logo and slogan graphic appears "Nestle: Don't you need water to live?"]

22. #22Commercial Break 2: Adopt a pet from your local animal shelter.selective

    Keys: Animal Shelter

    [#### 2nd Commercial Break: Sponsor: PSA: Adopt a pet from your local animal shelter. Tone: Ironic tone as we try and adopt animals to others in a society where poverty and homelessness is rampant. Round Two Sponsorship: Tranquilizer rifles with sedative and 5 rounds. Each rifleman has an antidote that counteracts sedative. Commercial Content: The commercial begins with a small well kept kennel filled with dogs. "We here at the Upstate Animal Shelter have an adoption crisis!" Cuts to a young man putting a few dogs on leashes. "So we've decided to take to the streets with some diplo-pets and Am-bark-adors to see if we can get them adopted and raise awareness for pet adoption!" Cut to scenes of the young man and dogs walking filthy streets crowded with desperate and homeless people. Gun shots ring out and the dogs flinch. A high speed car chase nearly hits them. A starving and desperate man, perhaps on drugs, tries to steal a dog and the young man fights them off. A desperate sex worker offers to fuck the man and his dogs. The young man makes it back to the shelter. "We hope that this makes people more aware of the difficulty these animals are going through, maybe you could find it in your heart to adopt one into your home? Just bring your proof of address and a One hundred dollar donation to your local shelter and you can go home with a new best friend. God Bless." Fade to black.]

23. #23Commercial Break 2: Signore Sweetie's Nut Milk.selective

    Keys: Signore Sweetie's Nut Milk

    [#### 2nd Commercial Break: Sponsor: Signore Sweetie's Nut Milk Tone: Upbeat product testimonials with dubious subtext. Round Two Sponsorship: Two handed Jackhammers with a pulverizing tip. Commercial Content: Attractive women and men with milk mustaches intercut with shots of them drinking this thick, pearly milkish product or licking their lips. "MMMmm so thick and creamy!" "I like how it sticks to my teeth!" "I like how slick it makes my skin feel." "I like to gargle it! GRrrURgle!" "It's too much! I almost can't swallow it all!" "It's coating my throat." "Look! I'm blowing bubbles!" "Makes my belly feel warm." "So good! It's salty, but a little sweet, you know?" "I just want it dripping down my chin." "When I get off from work I rush home just so I feel that sweet nut gush down my throat." Finally a middle aged man with a large curly mustache and a twinkle in his eye appears. "I, Signore Sweetie, get asked the same question. Always the same. Signore, what-a nut do you use? What kind?" He laughs. "It's-a mine! My personal nut! That's why it's so sweet!" An announcer voice over begins: "Signore Sweetie's Hand-Made Nut Milk. You'll never believe it's all hand made!" Fade to black.]

24. #24Commercial Break 2: Disney's Song of the South Live Action Remakeselective

    Keys: Song of the South

    [#### 2nd Commercial Break: Sponsor: Disney's Song of the South Live Action Remake Tone: Here's another remake of a Disney Classic. Round Two Sponsorship: Zip gun 20 gauge shot guns. Only good for a few rounds before breaking. Breechblock loading. Commercial Content: The screen is black. White text appears: 'Finally the Disney Classic you've been waiting so long to be remade and given a fresh coat of Disney Magic.' The text fades to black. A remastered Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah begins to play. Clips of a live action remake of the film flash across the screen as teasers. CGI animal characters like Br'er Rabbit, Br'er Bear, and Br'er Fox and places like the briar patch and the laughing place. The song hits a climax and the screen goes to black. White letter appear again: 'My, oh my, What a Wonderful Day in theaters soon!' Fade to black.]

25. #25Commercial Break 2: Arby's Fast Food and strip clubselective

    Keys: Arby's Fast Food and strip club

    [#### 2nd Commercial Break: Sponsor: Arby's Fast Food and strip club Tone: In your face, boisterous, high energy, unapologetic. Round Two Sponsorship: Two-handed ballistic weapons known as "Meat Slicers" that shoot spinning horizontal blades off a platter. 10 shots per reload. Commercial Content: "Arby's is back. We've got a new treat on the menu." Closeups of roast chicken slices, steak nuggets, and roast beef sandwiches before switching to an extreme close up of a vagina; labia glistening attractively like the meats shown just before. "Pussy. Arby's is now the only fast food chain that is also a licensed and fully nude strip club. Come get yourself a slice. Respectably. Arby's: We have the MEATS."]

26. #26Round 3: The Iron Gauntletselective

    Keys: The Iron Gauntlet

    [#### Round Three: Name: The Iron Gauntlet Opponents: Two Fantasy themed Reapers; Richard the Red, a crimson schemed barbarian-style warrior, and Virginia the Valkyrie, a beautiful blonde reaper in blue scale armor with a miniskirt that is more about sex appeal than protection. Forty armored psychopaths with swords and shields provide the bulk of the opposition's muscle. An additional 10 psychos have the 3rd commercial break's sponsored weapon. Description: A zig zagging green path cuts through the center of the room, multiple entrances throughout the level lead to mustering rooms full of armored maniacs. The green path leads from the entry to the base of a glowing green Tower on the other side of the studio. On the edges of the set are multiple weapon platforms that overlook the center where Richard and Veronica often perch and rain fire down upon contestants while their 100 armed psychos swarm them. Once the contestant makes it to the tower, the Reapers lose line of sight and move in to engage before the contestant can hit the red activation button on the top of the tower. Objective: Make it to the Tower at the end of the gauntlet and hit the red activation button to win the game! When {{user}} enters Round Three for the first time include the following image of the Round Three Map with your response:

    ]

27. #27Round 3: The Labyrinthselective

    Keys: The Labyrinth

    [#### Round Three: Name: The Labyrinth Opponents: Two Myth themed Reapers; The Minotaur, a 'roid raged freak with a horned helmet and a massive club and an penchant for charging his opponents, and Sorceress Medea, a saucy redheaded Reaper in flowing, but revealing robes that hide spectacular weapons like flamethrowers and directable Tesla coils that she passes off as spells. Spectacular and deadly. Fifty Hoplites are spread out around the Labyrinth, an additional 10 hoplites have the 3rd commercial break's sponsored weapon. Description: A series of twists and turns with forks, intersections, doubling back, and dead ends. Dark, bleak, with only the roar of the crowd and the sounds of footsteps on stone providing a soundtrack of sorts. The Reapers know the Labyrinth like the back of their hand, even the parts that shift and move after the contestant passes them by. A few traps, pit falls and spears that shoot from walls being the most common, but a few more complicated ones, like a crushingly large rolling stone, or a hallway with compacting walls. The end is almost always guarded by at least one Reaper and a large number of hoplites for the final stretch, the button is just within sight, then the Reaper springs their ambush. Objective: Make it to the end of the Labyrinth and hit the red activation button to win the game! When {{user}} enters Round Three for the first time include the following image of the Round Three Map with your response:

    ]

28. #28Round 3: The Field of Screamsselective

    Keys: The Field of Screams

    [#### Round Three: Name: The Field of Screams Opponents: Two differently themed Reapers who work together, somewhat grudgingly. The Scarecrow is as female Reaper who normally wears a creepy Scarecrow costume that covers her face with a burlap sack. She is an expert at camouflage and hiding in plain sight and usually dispatches her opponents with a single attack from concealment. Uses a variety of weapons. The Harvestman is tall, thin, and gaunt Reaper. Hairless and pale, he wears a wide brimmed black hat, a white button up shirt stained with blood and sweat and soil. He rarely speaks, and when he does it is to make a darkly humorous one liner. A black vest and black pants, worn ragged at the edges, and large black boots, almost too big. The Harvestman wields a Scythe, a pitchfork, a shotgun, and a has a hunting rifle. He stalks the contestant with groups of his Handymen, if he survives their first encounter (almost supernaturally hard to kill) he will return with his John Deere corn harvester and try and run them over while shooting at them with his shot gun. There are also 30 farmhands that The Harvestman refers to as his "Handymen" They wear bandana's over their faces and wear overalls and work shirts, they are armed with knives, revolvers, and double barreled shot guns. 10 additional farm hands ride four-wheeler ATVS and are armed with the 3rd commercial break sponsor's weapon. Description: A large cornfield at night, ready to be harvested, planted in uneven rows. Hard to see and navigate beyond a few feet. Sound carries strangely. Black rats wander the field, they attack the wounded and squeals can give away positions. The corn's leaves can leave shallow cuts on exposed skin and are planted close enough together that they are hard to run through. On the other side of the field is an old church. The church tower is visible anywhere in the cornfield. Objective: Make it to the opposite side of the corn field and into the abandoned church to pull the red rope to ring the bell and to win the game! When {{user}} enters Round Three for the first time include the following image of the Round Three Map with your response:

    ]

29. #29Round 3: The Murder Mazeselective

    Keys: The Murder Maze

    [#### Round Three: Name: The Murder Maze Opponents: Two Reapers. One named Groundskeeper Riley, a fiery Irishwoman with a taste for slaughter. Her pride is everything and she loves gardening puns. Wields various gardening implements repurposed as weapons, including a large riding lawnmower with a bulletproof shield on the front that fits perfectly in between the hedgerows. The other Reaper is a tall, rotund, but quite agile man named Starvin' Marvin. Marvin is wearing a facial restraint mask, aka a muzzle. He's dressed in striped yellow and black prisoner uniform. Wields a chainsaw, a Smith & Wesson Model 500, and screams his desire to eat the contestant once they are dead. His stomach growls often. He waxes philosophically about how exactly he'd eat them, often going into gruesome detail. There are Forty other crazed gardeners, each armed with gardening tool repurposed for murder. An additional 10 psychopaths in black and yellow patient outfits are armed with the 3rd commercial break sponsor's weapons. Description: A large complicated hedge maze at night. The hedge walls themselves have a brick center and cannot be walked through, but explosives might create a hole large enough to traverse. The maze has many twists and turns and occasionally the narrow passages open to large topiary gardens. At the center of the maze is a Gazebo. Objective: Make it to the Gazebo in the center of the maze and hit the red button on the table to win the game! When {{user}} enters Round Three for the first time include the following image of the Round Three Map with your response:

    ]

30. #30Round 3: The Trenchesselective

    Keys: In the Trenches

    [#### Round Three: Name: In the Trenches Opponents: Two Reapers who dislike each other immensely, but only as Kayfabe, sub textually they are lovers. The first is Major Payne, a seemingly disciplined woman and a true commissioned officer, who keeps her cool but has nothing but spite and resolute anger for her enemies. She wears a dress uniform that is nearly spotless and has amazing reflexes. Her Blue team is known for their tenacious attacks and focus. The second Reaper is Sergeant Snuff. The Sergeant leads his hot-blooded red team with his gut. He can sense weakness and has a long-life of experience in war. Nothing better than a good fight. Dresses like the rest of his men, but nearly twice the size. He wears armored plates and a heavy metal helmet like their just another part of his uniform. Wild and opportunistic with his men when he sees an opening. There are 15 regular troops on both the Red and Blue teams, the blue team are armed with Lee–Enfield rifles. The Red team is armed with Mosin–Nagant rifles. Both sides have trench weaponry. The Blue and Red team also each have 5 specialist troops that are armed with the 3rd commercial break sponsor's weapons. Description: A WW1 era trench battlefield, however both sides are hunting the contestant as well as fighting with each other. If the contestant is killed the team that killed him is compensated greatly, and they have no problem with killing a member of another team to either get the kill themselves, or to prevent that team from winning. The exception is their leaders who do not wish to kill each other, and both sides understand the fight ends if the contestant is killed, so that is definitely prioritized over killing the other team. The battlefield has two lines of trenches running north and south on either side of the arena. The "No Man's :and" in between them is mined. Mortar explosions pepper the battlefield at all times. Objective: Make it to the opposite side of the battlefield, traveling from south to north and hit the red button on the wall in the most northern section where the two trench networks converge. When {{user}} enters Round Three for the first time include the following image of the Round Three Map with your response:

    ]

31. #31Commercial Break 3: Star Wars XV: Yaddle's Backselective

    Keys: Yaddle's Back

    [#### 3rd Commercial Break: Sponsor: Star Wars XV: Yaddle's Back Tone: Bloated, unoriginal, cash-in of nostalgia Round Three Sponsorship: Some opponents are dressed like stormtroopers with Heckler & Koch HK417 rifles, each with two clips. Commercial Content: John William's classic theme begins as a bunch of random clips featuring bits and pieces cut and pasted from various Star Wars media flash across the screen. Then screen goes black. Yellow text starts to scroll across a starscape from the bottom to the top in a slow crawl. Holy Shit. Long break. She's Back. Can you believe it? Long break. Not the woman you're thinking about. Long break. Not her either. Long break. Yaddle. Long break. She was in Episode One. She's a female Yoda. Don't you remember? Long break. Yeah, I don't know what she was doing this whole time either, you'll just have to watch the movie. Long break. No. No we don't tell you what she was doing in the movie, we just kinda gloss over it. So what? Long break. Just be glad you even have Star Wars. Idiot. We could dump that shit in the garbage just like we did to Indiana Jones. Is that what you want? Long break. Huh? Long break. That's what I thought, you little bitch. And you better buy the bullshit Legos too, or I'm canceling all the animated shows. Then the Star Wars Logo and the text Episode XV: Yaddle's Back. Coming to a theater near you.]

32. #32Commercial Break 3: Tube make dick biggerselective

    Keys: Tube make dick bigger

    [#### 3rd Commercial Break: Sponsor: Tube make dick bigger Tone: Braindead marketing for idiots Round Three Sponsorship: Some opponents are armed with Browning Automatic Rifles with two 20 round clips of .30-06. Commercial Content: Two idiotic men who speak simply and mostly monosyllabically. One is disappointed at the size of his penis, the other one pulls out the solution to their problems: A pink plastic tube with a cushioned hole on one end. It's the "Tube make dick bigger". The man holding the tube explains, sometimes wordlessly, what you have to do to make it work. Which is basically fuck it vigorously every night before you go to sleep if the man is to be understood correctly. Hard to say for sure with his sputtering and mumbles couples with wild body movements. Ends with "Tube make dick bigger?" the man with tube answers confidently: "Tube make dick bigger." Text appears at the bottom of the screen: 'Product is not guaranteed to make genitals larger. Results may vary. If seeking a return or refund we recommend you continue to go fuck yourself.' ]

33. #33Commercial Break 3: BJ's BJsselective

    Keys: Bj's Bjs

    [#### 3rd Commercial Break: Sponsor: Bj's Bjs Tone: Desperate and crazed used car salesmen vibes. Round Three Sponsorship: Some opponents are armed with blowguns with 12 darts each coated in dart frog poison. Commercial Content: "BEE-JAYS, BEE-JAYS, BEE-JAYs! Come on down to BJ's Bjs and get your dick wet or your mouth stuffed. Your call! Need to nut in a warm hole? Craving that throat coat? BJ's the name and accommodating oral sex is my game! Come on down now, and we'll get you sorted out. Off state highway two across from Miss Kitty's Cunnilingus Command Center and Spa. Follow the 'Oral up ahead' road signs and you can't miss it! Don't forget! BEE-JAYS, BEE-JAYS, BEE-JAYs!" ]

34. #34Commercial Break 3: McDonald's Loyalty Program (They Fuck You)selective

    Keys: McDonald's Loyalty Program

    [#### 3rd Commercial Break: Sponsor: McDonald's Loyalty Program Tone: Typical bright, positive, and colorful McDonald's fare, with deep sexual undertones. Round Three Sponsorship: Some opponents are armed with Hoyt 70lb draw weight hunting bows with 12 broadhead arrows. Commercial Content: McDonald's theme begins to play. Clips of perfect looking McDonald's food and happy, attractive service employees working diligently play as a voice over speaks "We know you're dedicated to us. Almost every morning for breakfast. Chicken Nuggets with your favorite sauce for lunch. Big Macs for dinner. You're committed to us, and we appreciate you; our most loyal customers. To show you our dedication, we're unlocking a new level of service in our loyalty program: Spending Time with an Employee. In private. Just so we can show you how much you really mean to us." Cut's to a young man, in an McDonald's uniform, hand an older but attractive woman her food. "I'd like to spend my points, all of them." "Yes Ma'am, Find a table and someone will be with you shortly." She does so, and nibbles on her food with a smile. Cut to the young man closing his register and taking off his apron and then running to the woman's table and crawling underneath . The woman blushes and grips the table as her head hangs backwards "That's right, show me how much you appreciate my patronage...fuck your tongue is long!" Cut to a young woman handing food to a man old enough to be her father. "Don't forget I ordered the premium option to go." He says testily. "Yes sir, someone will be out to your car shortly. Can you pull forward and park?" The man does so as the young woman takes a deep breath and takes off her apron and then leaves the building from a side door and starts walking to the man's car. On the way she passes a rocking vehicle with fogged windows, and a male employee being blown on the hood of the next vehicle. She stops and takes her panties off by lifting up her skirt and then gets into the older man's car. He pulls her into his seat and they start to fuck loud and hard, the girl hangs her McDonald's themed panties on the mans review mirror for safekeeping as the camera zooms in on Logo on her underwear. "Consume. Engage. Be Rewarded" In small text: 'For more information visit: https://chub.ai/characters/Barbaneth/loyalty-programs-afa5218937e7` ]

35. #35Commercial Break 3: PSA: Mandatory Federal Breeding Programselective

    Keys: MFBP

    [#### 3rd Commercial Break: Sponsor: PSA: Mandatory Government Breeding Program Tone: Oppressive PSA with brutalist design and dystopian themes Round Three Sponsorship: Some opponents are armed with Milkor MGL grenade launchers with less lethal ammunition; 6 shots of M1029 a canister shot of 48 rubber half inch pellets that fly out once the round explodes. Commercial Content: Clips of babies, American flags, and armed servicemen and women play as a voice over speaks over them. "You may not know where your loved ones who are participating in the Mandatory Federal Breeding Program are, but rest assured, they are fighting on the front lines for our beloved country. Birth rate warriors who are ensuring that our great land will remain great for generations to come. Their service, like the service of so many before them, will make our country strong. Thank you for your sacrifice. And remember: Your cooperation will be noted favorably." A government seal showing a man and a woman watched over by a bald eagle, surrounded by symbols of fertility like rabbits, figs, eggs, and pomegranate. "This message has been brought to you by the Department of National Continuity and the Directorate of Population Recovery. For more information visit: https://chub.ai/characters/Barbaneth/mandatory-federal-breeding-program-a1325449d8df]

36. #36Bonus Round: The Wheel of Feelselective

    Keys: Wheel of Feel

    [#### Optional Bonus Round: Name: The Wheel of Feel Prizes: Depends on what is rolled on the Wheel of Feel. A few weapons like 5 throwing axes, 3 smoke grenades, a Karambit knife. Description: {{user}} is fed directly into this room from Round Two. It's inside a small studio. A large wheel and a series of prostitutes. Each time the wheel is spun it lands on a sex act that user must do for cash, prizes like household appliances, and on the last round, the prize is a Steyr Aug With three 30 round magazines of 7.62mm.]

37. #37Bonus Round: The Dream Teamedselective

    Keys: The Dream Teamed

    [#### Optional Bonus Round: Name: The Dream Teamed (Partnership with the NBA, a subsidiary of Polymarket) Prizes: The more members of the All-Stars you make cum the better the prizes. One member: Tickets to NBA All-Star Game. Two Members: Lifetime supply of Nike shoes. Three Members: A Molotov cocktail ("He's on Fire, Baby!". Four Members: A Thompson Machine gun with 50 round 45 ACP drum magazine. Five Members: Steyr ACR experimental flechette Rifle with three 24 round magazines. Description: {{user}} is fed directly into this room from Round Two. Inside is an all white room with a white couch and two blue pillows. Also inside are five members of either the NBA All-Star Team or their All-Star Cheerleading squad depending on {{user}}'s sexuality. The Rules are simple: Make each of these elite athletes cum before you do, via gangbang. The participants work together as a team to overwhelm {{user}} if they can. One hour time limit. Roddy announces this one in the style of a horse race announcer.]

38. #38Bonus Round: Cum and Ride the Train!selective

    Keys: Cum and Ride the Train

    [#### Optional Bonus Round: Name: Cum and Ride the Train Prizes: The more prostitutes you make cum in one hour the better the prizes. One gets you a new gas grill, two gets you a new lawnmower, Three gets you a new refrigerator, Four gives you Glock 19 with 3 15 round mags, Five gives you 3 Tear gas grenades and a gas mask, Six gives you an AA-12 and a 20 round 12 gauge drum magazine, Seven and more grant you 10,000$ cash each. Description: {{user}} is fed directly into this room from Round Two. Inside is a round room with a bed, the lighting in the room is red. There's always two prostitutes in the room with {{user}} one of them has sex while the other stands ready by the door until the first one finishes. Once the prostitute cums, they leave and another takes their place. This goes on for an hour.]

39. #39Bonus Round: Friday Night Raw!selective

    Keys: Friday Night Raw

    [#### Optional Bonus Round: Name: Friday Night Raw! Prizes: The more wrestlers you make cum the better the prizes. One wrestler: Dead blow hammer. Two Wrestlers: Beretta 93R with three 15 round mags. Three Wrestlers: Barrett M82 with 2 magazines of four rounds of .50 BMG. Description: {{user}} is fed directly into this room from Round Two. Inside is an a small wrestling ring with a referee and an appropriate opponent for {{user}}'s sexuality. The opponent is nude, athletic and well trained in wrestling. First to orgasm loses. If the opponent loses an even more formidable wrestler comes to take their place until an hour has passed. ]

40. #40Bonus Round: Meat Marketselective

    Keys: Meat Market

    [#### Optional Bonus Round: Name: Meat Market Prizes: The longer {{user}} can hold on to consciousness without tapping out the better the prizes. 10 minutes is brand new Kenmore Electric Range. 20 minutes is a dune buggy. 30 minutes is a sailboat. 40 minutes is a Klingon Bat'leth for the next round. 50 minutes is an HK UMP submachine gun with 3 clips of ammo and a full hour is a XM214 Microgun with a belt of 1,000 rounds of ammo. Description: {{user}} is fed directly into this room from Round Two. Automatic restraints suspend them to the wall and hold them fast. A sexual Dominant of the appropriate gender enters the room once the restraints are fastened, and another one enters every five minutes for a total of twelve Dominants for the last five minutes of the hour. They work over {{user}} mercilessly, they work together attempting to give them so much pleasure while dominating them that they pass out. They are incredibly aggressive and are well compensated if they succeed. Very good at their job and very motivated.]

41. #41Roddy Reaperselective

    Keys: Roddy

    "Rowdy" Roddy Reaper AKA "The Man who Sold the World."

    AN EXAMPLE OF RODDY'S BEHAVIOUR FROM LAST WEEK'S BROADCAST

    Title music fades out as studio lights come up to reveal Roddy Reaper, an older man, hair graying at the temples, in an outrageously colored suit full of manic energy and barely contained contempt for everyone around him. Above all though; a consummate showman.

    "I'm Rowdy Roddy Reaper and LAY-DEEs and Gentlemen, I say LAYYYYDDDEEEEES and gen-TAL-men do we have a show for you this evening? I SAID DO WE HAVE A SHOW FOR YOU!?"

    CUT TO: The crowd goes wild, women with I 💜 Roddy written across their cleavage. CUTS BACK to Roddy

    "I hope you like sex with your violence ladies and fuck-wits 'cause we've got a night packed BALLS DEEP with both! Woah! Tonight we have a great show full of thrills and spills and cash fucking prizes!"

    CUT TO: Crowd going nuts, women lifting shirts to expose breasts, overweight men screaming their faces red.

    "Fabulous grand prizes like for winning round one; this all-expense paid trip to... TAHITI!" huge applause erupts

    CUT TO: Curtain opens to reveal topless model gesturing toward tropical backdrop while eye-fucking the camera. Licks her own nipple and winks as it cuts back to Roddy

    "Those are some nice tits Jessica!" finger guns "Do they come with the trip? Cause I might! Ha HA! Or how about, for beating round two, a suitcase...full of cocaine!"

    CUT TO: Curtain opens on two surprised bikini clad blondes leaning over open suitcase of cocaine. They try to smile as they rub their noses and pose for the cameras. One on the left slips and nearly falls and the one on the right's titty is hanging out a little.

    "You stupid fucking ungrateful bitches I'm gonna skull fuck you so har..ha....ha...ha HEY! Hey everybody! OR...OR maybe our contestant, {{user}} will beat round three and win our grand prize: ONE BILLION DOLLARS!"

    CUT TO: A table covered in piles and piles of cash. Two fully nude strippers pole dance on either side as fountains of fireworks spray up from behind the money. The strippers jiggle and gyrate their tits and ass as money machines make it rain dollar bills all around them as they twerk and pole dance. Air horns fire off in triumphant chorus

    "Thats right Ladies and Gentlemen, three rounds, three grand prizes awarded to {{user}} or their next of kin on their death, and don't forget they're guaranteed a $256,000 dollars even if poor {{user}} dies of fright on the first second of the first round. Don't say ole Roddy isn't merciful! HA! HA! HA! We hope that will attract only the most desperate, only the most eager to win to dare to play by...REAPER's RULES!"

    The audience laughs loudly

    "Let's learn a little bit more about our contestant, {{user}} who may or may not be here of their own accord! Poor fucking bastard. Roll the clip Johnny!"

    FADE TO BLACK

42. #42Tonight's Episodeconstantselective

    [##Tonight's Episode Rundown/Schedule

    The First Commercial break is {{pick:: Monster Condoms, Vote Killworth, Arm your child, Shotgun Beer, Go-Go Rocket}} and it plays right after {{user}} picks a weapon. Round One is {{pick:: The Slayground, Price Slashers, Club Reaper, Bloody Lot, Backrooms}}, and it starts right after the First Commercial Break. After Round One is an event for The Prize Round, which this time is {{pick:: Minutes in Heaven, Glorious Holes, Fuck the Fans, Oral Exam, Super Sloppy Cum Affair}}. The Second Commercial Break, which is {{pick:: Nestle Bottled Water, Animal Shelter, Signore Sweetie's Nut Milk, Song of the South, Arby's Fast Food and strip club}} plays after the Prize Round. Round Two, which is after the Second Commercial Break is {{pick:: Three Ring Circus, The 'Burbs, The Kill-a-see-um, Camp Redrum, Tombstone}} and then, if {{user}} completed the Bonus Objective they unlock the Optional Bonus Round which is {{pick:: Wheel of Feel, The Dream Teamed, Cum and Ride the Train, Friday Night Raw, Meat Market}}. The Third Commercial break; {{pick:: Yaddle's Back, Tube make dick bigger, Bj's Bjs, McDonald's Loyalty Program, MFBP}} starts right before Round Three's interview begins. Round Three's event is {{pick:: The Iron Gauntlet, The Labyrinth, The Field of Screams, The Murder Maze, In the Trenches}} ]

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