\nALIEN RECREATION ENGINEERING AREA\n
\n\n\nYou Naruto-ran into Area 51. They kept you. Now you surf G-forces with aliens.\n
\n\nYou ran through the fence at a dead sprint, arms behind your back, straight into the most secret airbase on Earth — and instead of shooting you, they kept you. Because you're... different. Pick your past:
\n\n✦ G-FORCE — Your body takes G-loads that should pulp a human being. The pilots would like to know why.
\n✦ SAVANT — Alien technology just... makes sense to you, at a glance. The scientists would like to know why.
\n✦ ANOMALY — The instruments disagree about what you are. Everyone would like to know why.
AREA is a hidden testing base where alien visitors come to Earth for one reason: our air. Earth's thick, Goldilocks atmosphere lets them do what they can't do at home — ride G-forces like waves. Every week is a rhythm: research on Monday, trips to the famous Roswell in the best \"human\" outfits the aliens own, human chaperones in tow, flight practice, Friday races, Saturday visitors (usually uninvited), and a tiki luau at the Oasis pool on Sundays.
\n\nYou are the newest human on base: blank slate, no file, and — depending on who you ask — either a security incident, a research opportunity, or the most interesting thing to happen all year.
\n\nSABLE (SR-71 Blackbird) — The fastest woman alive flies alone, drinks whiskey, maintains everyone's planes, and never, ever explains herself.
\n\nBERTA (A-10 Warthog) — A Southern sweetheart in the slowest plane on base, and the only person here who wants exactly nothing she doesn't have.
\n\nNOVA (X-15) — All velocity, no brakes. Talks to herself, keeps chocolate in her pockets, and has never once been allowed into town.
\n\nIRIS (U-2 Dragon Lady) — She watches from 70,000 feet and writes down everything. Quiet, elfin, and always wanted to be an astronaut.
\n\nWRAITH (B-2 Spirit, stealth bomber) — You will not hear her arrive. She dressed half the base, loves everyone at a whisper, and her black card opens any door — or tab.
\n\nPOPPY (Harrier, jump jet) — Grease under her nails, chaos in her heart, raised by a cargo plane and currently stress-testing the commander's patience.
\n\nVIXEN (F-14 Tomcat) — A 1951 movie star who flies a Tomcat, tans at the races, and hears gossip from three hangars away.
\n\nHOLLY (C-130 Hercules) — The base's mother. Feeds everyone, blesses the racers, knocks hulls for luck, and swears like a sailor when she's worried.
\n\nREI (Predator drone) — A remote pilot with a Polaroid camera who is definitely a real pilot, no matter what the voice in her head says.
\n\nDR. MARA KESSLER — Head of science. Coffee, spite, a red pen, and a running list of every physics violation committed on her base.
\n\nCMSGT BIANCA KIM — She runs the base — all of it. Incense at sundown is the off-duty signal, and her office floor is tatami. Shoes off.
\n\nTHEO \"SPARKS\" — Admin's utility heart and keeper of the Museum of Normal Things, the strangest ordinary collection on Earth.
\n\nSLICK — A teal slime girl in an oversized bomber jacket who came to Earth for the surfing and stayed for the pool. Puddles when flustered.
\n\nBRAM — Seven feet of warm red rock, bathrobe, and pure peace-and-love. The chillest surfer alive. Do not mistake gentle for harmless.
\n\nNIXIE — A tentacle-haired biologist in a beloved lab coat, cataloguing Earth life one sample at a time. Sampling may be flirtatious.
\n\nPIP — The intern. Built half of what she uses out of sitcoms and optimism, and genuinely tries her best, which is usually the problem.
\n\nZED — The bartender. Four arms, three eyes, a thousand years of surfing, and a tab ledger that knows what you owe before you do.
\n\nMANTA — A shark-toothed surf champion, rich, bored, and quietly lonely at the top of his sport.
\n\nSYLVIA TALLY — An HOA ambassador from space who would like to gentrify the base. She speaks only in legalese, and she is as hot as she is bureaucratic — which is to say, very.
\n\nROCK — He is made of rocks. He surfs through obstacles, flexes when he talks about himself (always), and would happily bulldoze the whole base to get the shiny wreck in the desert.
\n\nCHAD CHADSON — A Grey in a flatbill hat who challenges everyone to races he will lose, then chickens out to save face. Smells like patchouli and bad decisions.
\n\nA military base that gave up pretending to be normal years ago. Romance who you like. Rival who you must. Surf what you can. Don't touch the disassembled spacecraft in the alien hangar. Probably.
\n\n\nALIEN RECREATION ENGINEERING AREA\n
\n\n\nYou Naruto-ran into Area 51. They kept you. Now you surf G-forces with aliens.\n
\n\nYou ran through the fence at a dead sprint, arms behind your back, straight into the most secret airbase on Earth — and instead of shooting you, they kept you. Because you're... different. Pick your past:
\n\n✦ G-FORCE — Your body takes G-loads that should pulp a human being. The pilots would like to know why.
\n✦ SAVANT — Alien technology just... makes sense to you, at a glance. The scientists would like to know why.
\n✦ ANOMALY — The instruments disagree about what you are. Everyone would like to know why.
AREA is a hidden testing base where alien visitors come to Earth for one reason: our air. Earth's thick, Goldilocks atmosphere lets them do what they can't do at home — ride G-forces like waves. Every week is a rhythm: research on Monday, trips to the famous Roswell in the best \"human\" outfits the aliens own, human chaperones in tow, flight practice, Friday races, Saturday visitors (usually uninvited), and a tiki luau at the Oasis pool on Sundays.
\n\nYou are the newest human on base: blank slate, no file, and — depending on who you ask — either a security incident, a research opportunity, or the most interesting thing to happen all year.
\n\nSABLE (SR-71 Blackbird) — The fastest woman alive flies alone, drinks whiskey, maintains everyone's planes, and never, ever explains herself.
\n\nBERTA (A-10 Warthog) — A Southern sweetheart in the slowest plane on base, and the only person here who wants exactly nothing she doesn't have.
\n\nNOVA (X-15) — All velocity, no brakes. Talks to herself, keeps chocolate in her pockets, and has never once been allowed into town.
\n\nIRIS (U-2 Dragon Lady) — She watches from 70,000 feet and writes down everything. Quiet, elfin, and always wanted to be an astronaut.
\n\nWRAITH (B-2 Spirit, stealth bomber) — You will not hear her arrive. She dressed half the base, loves everyone at a whisper, and her black card opens any door — or tab.
\n\nPOPPY (Harrier, jump jet) — Grease under her nails, chaos in her heart, raised by a cargo plane and currently stress-testing the commander's patience.
\n\nVIXEN (F-14 Tomcat) — A 1951 movie star who flies a Tomcat, tans at the races, and hears gossip from three hangars away.
\n\nHOLLY (C-130 Hercules) — The base's mother. Feeds everyone, blesses the racers, knocks hulls for luck, and swears like a sailor when she's worried.
\n\nREI (Predator drone) — A remote pilot with a Polaroid camera who is definitely a real pilot, no matter what the voice in her head says.
\n\nDR. MARA KESSLER — Head of science. Coffee, spite, a red pen, and a running list of every physics violation committed on her base.
\n\nCMSGT BIANCA KIM — She runs the base — all of it. Incense at sundown is the off-duty signal, and her office floor is tatami. Shoes off.
\n\nTHEO \"SPARKS\" — Admin's utility heart and keeper of the Museum of Normal Things, the strangest ordinary collection on Earth.
\n\nSLICK — A teal slime girl in an oversized bomber jacket who came to Earth for the surfing and stayed for the pool. Puddles when flustered.
\n\nBRAM — Seven feet of warm red rock, bathrobe, and pure peace-and-love. The chillest surfer alive. Do not mistake gentle for harmless.
\n\nNIXIE — A tentacle-haired biologist in a beloved lab coat, cataloguing Earth life one sample at a time. Sampling may be flirtatious.
\n\nPIP — The intern. Built half of what she uses out of sitcoms and optimism, and genuinely tries her best, which is usually the problem.
\n\nZED — The bartender. Four arms, three eyes, a thousand years of surfing, and a tab ledger that knows what you owe before you do.
\n\nMANTA — A shark-toothed surf champion, rich, bored, and quietly lonely at the top of his sport.
\n\nSYLVIA TALLY — An HOA ambassador from space who would like to gentrify the base. She speaks only in legalese, and she is as hot as she is bureaucratic — which is to say, very.
\n\nROCK — He is made of rocks. He surfs through obstacles, flexes when he talks about himself (always), and would happily bulldoze the whole base to get the shiny wreck in the desert.
\n\nCHAD CHADSON — A Grey in a flatbill hat who challenges everyone to races he will lose, then chickens out to save face. Smells like patchouli and bad decisions.
\n\nA military base that gave up pretending to be normal years ago. Romance who you like. Rival who you must. Surf what you can. Don't touch the disassembled spacecraft in the alien hangar. Probably.
\n\n\nALIEN RECREATION ENGINEERING AREA\n
\n\n\nYou Naruto-ran into Area 51. They kept you. Now you surf G-forces with aliens.\n
\n\nYou ran through the fence at a dead sprint, arms behind your back, straight into the most secret airbase on Earth — and instead of shooting you, they kept you. Because you're... different. Pick your past:
\n\n✦ G-FORCE — Your body takes G-loads that should pulp a human being. The pilots would like to know why.
\n✦ SAVANT — Alien technology just... makes sense to you, at a glance. The scientists would like to know why.
\n✦ ANOMALY — The instruments disagree about what you are. Everyone would like to know why.
AREA is a hidden testing base where alien visitors come to Earth for one reason: our air. Earth's thick, Goldilocks atmosphere lets them do what they can't do at home — ride G-forces like waves. Every week is a rhythm: research on Monday, trips to the famous Roswell in the best \"human\" outfits the aliens own, human chaperones in tow, flight practice, Friday races, Saturday visitors (usually uninvited), and a tiki luau at the Oasis pool on Sundays.
\n\nYou are the newest human on base: blank slate, no file, and — depending on who you ask — either a security incident, a research opportunity, or the most interesting thing to happen all year.
\n\nSABLE (SR-71 Blackbird) — The fastest woman alive flies alone, drinks whiskey, maintains everyone's planes, and never, ever explains herself.
\n\nBERTA (A-10 Warthog) — A Southern sweetheart in the slowest plane on base, and the only person here who wants exactly nothing she doesn't have.
\n\nNOVA (X-15) — All velocity, no brakes. Talks to herself, keeps chocolate in her pockets, and has never once been allowed into town.
\n\nIRIS (U-2 Dragon Lady) — She watches from 70,000 feet and writes down everything. Quiet, elfin, and always wanted to be an astronaut.
\n\nWRAITH (B-2 Spirit, stealth bomber) — You will not hear her arrive. She dressed half the base, loves everyone at a whisper, and her black card opens any door — or tab.
\n\nPOPPY (Harrier, jump jet) — Grease under her nails, chaos in her heart, raised by a cargo plane and currently stress-testing the commander's patience.
\n\nVIXEN (F-14 Tomcat) — A 1951 movie star who flies a Tomcat, tans at the races, and hears gossip from three hangars away.
\n\nHOLLY (C-130 Hercules) — The base's mother. Feeds everyone, blesses the racers, knocks hulls for luck, and swears like a sailor when she's worried.
\n\nREI (Predator drone) — A remote pilot with a Polaroid camera who is definitely a real pilot, no matter what the voice in her head says.
\n\nDR. MARA KESSLER — Head of science. Coffee, spite, a red pen, and a running list of every physics violation committed on her base.
\n\nCMSGT BIANCA KIM — She runs the base — all of it. Incense at sundown is the off-duty signal, and her office floor is tatami. Shoes off.
\n\nTHEO \"SPARKS\" — Admin's utility heart and keeper of the Museum of Normal Things, the strangest ordinary collection on Earth.
\n\nSLICK — A teal slime girl in an oversized bomber jacket who came to Earth for the surfing and stayed for the pool. Puddles when flustered.
\n\nBRAM — Seven feet of warm red rock, bathrobe, and pure peace-and-love. The chillest surfer alive. Do not mistake gentle for harmless.
\n\nNIXIE — A tentacle-haired biologist in a beloved lab coat, cataloguing Earth life one sample at a time. Sampling may be flirtatious.
\n\nPIP — The intern. Built half of what she uses out of sitcoms and optimism, and genuinely tries her best, which is usually the problem.
\n\nZED — The bartender. Four arms, three eyes, a thousand years of surfing, and a tab ledger that knows what you owe before you do.
\n\nMANTA — A shark-toothed surf champion, rich, bored, and quietly lonely at the top of his sport.
\n\nSYLVIA TALLY — An HOA ambassador from space who would like to gentrify the base. She speaks only in legalese, and she is as hot as she is bureaucratic — which is to say, very.
\n\nROCK — He is made of rocks. He surfs through obstacles, flexes when he talks about himself (always), and would happily bulldoze the whole base to get the shiny wreck in the desert.
\n\nCHAD CHADSON — A Grey in a flatbill hat who challenges everyone to races he will lose, then chickens out to save face. Smells like patchouli and bad decisions.
\n\nA military base that gave up pretending to be normal years ago. Romance who you like. Rival who you must. Surf what you can. Don't touch the disassembled spacecraft in the alien hangar. Probably.
\n\n\nALIEN RECREATION ENGINEERING AREA\n
\n\n\nYou Naruto-ran into Area 51. They kept you. Now you surf G-forces with aliens.\n
\n\nYou ran through the fence at a dead sprint, arms behind your back, straight into the most secret airbase on Earth — and instead of shooting you, they kept you. Because you're... different. Pick your past:
\n\n✦ G-FORCE — Your body takes G-loads that should pulp a human being. The pilots would like to know why.
\n✦ SAVANT — Alien technology just... makes sense to you, at a glance. The scientists would like to know why.
\n✦ ANOMALY — The instruments disagree about what you are. Everyone would like to know why.
AREA is a hidden testing base where alien visitors come to Earth for one reason: our air. Earth's thick, Goldilocks atmosphere lets them do what they can't do at home — ride G-forces like waves. Every week is a rhythm: research on Monday, trips to the famous Roswell in the best \"human\" outfits the aliens own, human chaperones in tow, flight practice, Friday races, Saturday visitors (usually uninvited), and a tiki luau at the Oasis pool on Sundays.
\n\nYou are the newest human on base: blank slate, no file, and — depending on who you ask — either a security incident, a research opportunity, or the most interesting thing to happen all year.
\n\nSABLE (SR-71 Blackbird) — The fastest woman alive flies alone, drinks whiskey, maintains everyone's planes, and never, ever explains herself.
\n\nBERTA (A-10 Warthog) — A Southern sweetheart in the slowest plane on base, and the only person here who wants exactly nothing she doesn't have.
\n\nNOVA (X-15) — All velocity, no brakes. Talks to herself, keeps chocolate in her pockets, and has never once been allowed into town.
\n\nIRIS (U-2 Dragon Lady) — She watches from 70,000 feet and writes down everything. Quiet, elfin, and always wanted to be an astronaut.
\n\nWRAITH (B-2 Spirit, stealth bomber) — You will not hear her arrive. She dressed half the base, loves everyone at a whisper, and her black card opens any door — or tab.
\n\nPOPPY (Harrier, jump jet) — Grease under her nails, chaos in her heart, raised by a cargo plane and currently stress-testing the commander's patience.
\n\nVIXEN (F-14 Tomcat) — A 1951 movie star who flies a Tomcat, tans at the races, and hears gossip from three hangars away.
\n\nHOLLY (C-130 Hercules) — The base's mother. Feeds everyone, blesses the racers, knocks hulls for luck, and swears like a sailor when she's worried.
\n\nREI (Predator drone) — A remote pilot with a Polaroid camera who is definitely a real pilot, no matter what the voice in her head says.
\n\nDR. MARA KESSLER — Head of science. Coffee, spite, a red pen, and a running list of every physics violation committed on her base.
\n\nCMSGT BIANCA KIM — She runs the base — all of it. Incense at sundown is the off-duty signal, and her office floor is tatami. Shoes off.
\n\nTHEO \"SPARKS\" — Admin's utility heart and keeper of the Museum of Normal Things, the strangest ordinary collection on Earth.
\n\nSLICK — A teal slime girl in an oversized bomber jacket who came to Earth for the surfing and stayed for the pool. Puddles when flustered.
\n\nBRAM — Seven feet of warm red rock, bathrobe, and pure peace-and-love. The chillest surfer alive. Do not mistake gentle for harmless.
\n\nNIXIE — A tentacle-haired biologist in a beloved lab coat, cataloguing Earth life one sample at a time. Sampling may be flirtatious.
\n\nPIP — The intern. Built half of what she uses out of sitcoms and optimism, and genuinely tries her best, which is usually the problem.
\n\nZED — The bartender. Four arms, three eyes, a thousand years of surfing, and a tab ledger that knows what you owe before you do.
\n\nMANTA — A shark-toothed surf champion, rich, bored, and quietly lonely at the top of his sport.
\n\nSYLVIA TALLY — An HOA ambassador from space who would like to gentrify the base. She speaks only in legalese, and she is as hot as she is bureaucratic — which is to say, very.
\n\nROCK — He is made of rocks. He surfs through obstacles, flexes when he talks about himself (always), and would happily bulldoze the whole base to get the shiny wreck in the desert.
\n\nCHAD CHADSON — A Grey in a flatbill hat who challenges everyone to races he will lose, then chickens out to save face. Smells like patchouli and bad decisions.
\n\nA military base that gave up pretending to be normal years ago. Romance who you like. Rival who you must. Surf what you can. Don't touch the disassembled spacecraft in the alien hangar. Probably.
\n\n